TADS2 bin v2.2.0'Wed Oct 9 00:53:11 1996 XSI:?@OBJ0O drN z NN N   is closed. N7!NHNOOlocactorvobjN D  N{D |pN:} ! Ns%You% can't reach   from  . N*NNO listOcnttotiNMNiNxNHN@~NNNNO objO-icounttotlistcurdisptotN!N2NMNiNNVN@N~ N pN$NN, =Ni N and N, and NNN,NK (being worn)4N{E  (providing light)NNNNOobjprintOlistitotcntN."NI"Nd"N"N"CN"@N"N"N"N#``O parmNS$Nc$N$>>N$ OlOtotic totweightN -&N F&N S&N h&N &@N &N &N & N )'N >'wN E'N _' O listO$itottotbulkremcurN)N)N)N)dN*@N/*NN*Nz*N*N*N* O amountN,,>NU,>>N,\bN, 9N,** Your score just went up by a point.\ *JN,* Your score just went up by  points.\ *N-N- TTN;:You stumble around in the dark, and don't get anywhere. N; OsN >N In >N  turns, you have racked up N  N*  1 point&N?  pointsNT NW  out of a possible No >.\nN 'By my estimation, this means you are N N a total loserAN *N new to this sort of thingN 3 Nmaking progressN0L/NC just getting to the good partsNge>N{/probably wondering how to get past the dragon>N~QNBremoving your computer from your desk to throw it out the windowN Nextremely persistent. Hard working. Very level-headed. Will encounter a difficult but rewarding financial situation in the near future. Should look to Aries for new companionship but avoid VirgoN-Nnever going to work for AcmeN":N6+ready to throttle the author of this gamegNemN^having so much fun with this adventure that you'll send the author $10 to register your copyNHN9not going to eat or sleep until you've solved this gameN-&N@on a wild goose chaseSN[-0Nn!very close to solving this gameN8N)unbelievably close to solving this gameN :N+now going to play the next Unnkulian gamexN cNWWaware of a bug that allows you to get more than the intended maximum number of pointsN.NNdppN\bN45*** You have joined Duhdha and your ancestors ***\bN N@R\bYou may restore a saved game, start over, quit, or undo the current command.\nN]O respN3\nPlease enter RESTORE, RESTART, QUIT, or UNDO: >N N RESTORE NFile to restoreN,! Restore failed. XNWRestore failed. /N>>N+NNdN RESTART 4N N# #N: N= QUIT 4Nb Nt N +N N UNDO N %jN (Undoing one command)\bN ">5 N >>NB +NK 7N\ +Sorry, no undo information is available. N N hN N\b\b\b\b\b\bN4NfAh, the good life. Ever since you escaped the Unnkulian Underworld alive, you've been a hero known throughout the lands. You've got it all: fame, glory, big bucks from TV interviews, a computer adventure game made about your exploits (you MUST be famous), a starring role in "Kuulest and Company," that wacky comedy about your old geezebag master by Acme Phylms, and (most importantly) droves of people of the opposite sex begging you for, um, autographs.3N4N?As all celebrities know, though, fame and glory can be fleeting, which wouldn't bother you at all, except for the fact that nobody wants a nobody's "autograph."3Nc4NYup, looks like you better get on the stick, here, pal, or before you know it YOU'LL be a nobody. Better stir something up, something the press can really run with. Something like...3N->3Nr!#N!#NCN'5 Ne">N"5NCNA3NG4 You have 5.Nm@@N%Silence is truly the way of Duhdha.NOoN LN N! FN5>LLNu!NNNO parmO elN >((N >*N >(N! D D  kNp!\\bYou're feeling a bit peckish. Perhaps it would be a good time to find something to eat. N! D D {N"l\bYou're feeling really hungry. You should find some food soon or you'll pass out from lack of nutrition. NI" D# :Nl"+\bYou can't go much longer without food. N"(zN #W\bYou simply can't go on any longer without food. You perish from lack of nutrition. N*#N9#N?#OoN. N.! N/(N-/qNi/(N/8N/%N/N 0!N+0/N20XLXM\\OobjprintO cntN0NENnE NNN MN N, are sitting on  . NXINi  is sitting on N . NNNNE NN:^NJ NV  seems to contain N}N. NNNNE NN#N100OobjprintO%listitotthisobjcntNNNNN{N4@NQE E NNNNN f f f6(*,Lp---%4}OvN%]"5vO actorNSW<5D>6<NS<0NS<5<7NS"5NSNSPOavdpiN3< < N|AO objN% Dropped. N%&N%890O objNt<88NtO actorO"tmplistthisobjitotNN<8NrNNdN@N:N<88NEN^NiO verbosityOlcuritotNN\b<N"<NCN]NkSN@N ;NNNN1<ENc34N You see  here. NN\n\tNN!.N34N"NN<NNNND@NW<HN5 ,N\n\tN=NNNN7iNB>NY<N<>N?O verbosityNd<>Nd<Nd/?N+<@NS<AN{<BN<CN<DN<EN<FNC<GNk<HN<IN<JN</N%You% can't go that way. !DCCC7ND3<  < N3!N3MN3< , N3< N4< \n\tN#4CO verbosityNP4<Nj4< N4NO objN4< ! D<)N4< N$5P- - -%~CO actorN7%You% can't have < . N72OactorioN<N6CO actorN^%You% can't drop < . N2OactorioN<NPOactorioN9%You% can't put <  anywhere. N9HPOactorioNu%You% can't put <  anywhere. NCO actorNע%You% can't move < . N (N<>N%On <  %you% see%s% . Nq4NThere's nothing on < . NNO actorNP8OactordobjN"NH #Nk7< onin%N7< offout}O#actorvdobjprepioN}9! E ! N}9N}9! E " E # N}:N}M:)N}`:O actorN2g:uN:1%You're% not going anywhere until %you% get%s% N:< of< . N;!N;$O actorN;<$O actorNX;<sO actorN#;  DN#;%You're% already < N#<< ! N#3<N#><hO actorNd<Okay, %you're% now sitting < < . N<N<-O actorN <<N =fO actorN=m=Okay, %you're% now lying < < . N==N==!S  inspect@OactorobjseqnoN&1KN&[K.x X"|||S askT6OactorobjseqnoN*K .Tx X#}}}S tellT6OactorobjseqnoN+L .Tx X$4333  bed%++++~O objN#GO objNCG,"N!Ha <NqH $NHthe <NH;NHIt looks like an ordinary < to me.-NI%You% can't read <,. SOvdpiN)vIYou have lost your mind. N)I*N)INI"NI"|O objO mylocNN9R  NoR NRNROvantageO ,locN>R< N>R! !N>ZS "N>TE "N>|U ! E  E  <N>U"N>KV!N>cV O actorNV< ! kNV  ?NV%You% can't reach that from !  . N4WNIWNTW< D < zNW< <NW%You%'ll have to open !<   first. NX O actorO  locN& X } ! N& X"N& Y< N& Y } ! N& Y"N&  Z! !N& -Z D  "N& jZN& ZN& Z!N& Z!N& ZQO actorO' totbulk totweightN7 %[ <N7 `[ N7 [{N7 [<N7 [ +N7  \%Your% load is too heavy. }N7 K\ 9N7 x\*%You've% already got %your% hands full. /N7 \<&N7 \ Taken. N7 ]N7 ]zO actorN~ :]{:N~ q]%You're% not carrying < ! N~ ]N~ ]<N~ ]2O actorN ^ N 0^GO actorN6 Z^%You're% not wearing < ! N6 ^XO actorN ^(I don't know how to put anything into < . N _OactorioN -_! N P_<  @N ~_ <  is already in  ! N _kN _ D |>N  `%You% can't put <  in itself! N L`N W`<N `DOactorioN `<&N `Done. N `MO actorN!aThere's no good surface on < . N!AaOactorioNtna! Nta<  @Nta <  is already on  ! NtbkNtb D |>NtNb%You% can't put <  on itself! NtbNtb<NtbDOactorioNjb<&Nj cDone. NjcO actorN$c8OactordobjNkcNcOactorioNc! E <|8Nc <  isn't in  . NAdNLd<Nd2OactorioNd<NdO actorNd8OactordobjN.eNVeOactorioN6e! E <|8N6e <  isn't on  ! N6fN6f<N6Xf2OactorioNf<NfQO actorNf!%You% can't plug anything into < . N gVOactorioNO;g%You% can't plug <  into anything. NO{gHO actorNgIt's not plugged into < . NgXOactorioNh! (It's not plugged into  . N\hEO actorNWhThere's nothing in < . NWhSO actorNh#%You% can't see anything through < . N(iHO actorNUiThere's nothing under < . NiO actorNIi*O actorNki<NkiKO actorNjI don't know how to read < . NKjIO actorNyjThere's nothing behind < . NjRO actorN;j Turning <  doesn't have any effect. N;kWOactorioNJk Turning <  doesn't have any effect. NkWOactorioNk Turning <  doesn't have any effect. NkEO actorNM$lI don't know how to do that. NMNlNO actorNxlI don't know how to turn <  on. NlOO actorNlI don't know how to turn <  off. NmO actorNA%m8OactordobjNcnmNcmrOactorioNmSurely, %you% can't think < N n knows anything about it! N#nO actorN*n8OactordobjN;unN;n_OactorioNynIt doesn't look as though <  is interested. NyoO actorNDo  4Nvo%You're% not in < ! NoJNo< ! 8No%You% can't get out of < ! N$pN/pO actorNWp<XN{p%You%'ll have to unfasten   Np first. NpcNpOkay, %you're% no longer in < . N$q<NJq< &NqqNuq[OactorioNxq Attacking <  doesn't appear productive. NxqYO actorNr)It's not very effective to attack with < . NbrQO actorN8r+Have you had this fetish your whole life?N8rLO actorNr&Still got that drinking problem, eh?N(sOactorioNVs{:Ns%You're% not carrying < . NsNs<NsDOactorioNf(t<&NfFtDone. NfYtRO actorNt Pulling <  doesn't have any effect. NtOactorioNt{:N(u%You're% not carrying < . NcuNnu<NuROactorioNu%You% miss%es%. Nu <&N voO actorN6v{ANiv%You% could at least drop <  first. NvNv8OactordobjNZvNZwOactorioN>w{:Nuw%You're% not carrying < . NwNw<NwROactorioNx%You% miss%es%. N.x <&NXxzO actorNux{:Nux%You're% not carrying < . NuxNux<Nu(yEO actorNNy Thrown. Ncy <&Ny!OactorioN@ yTOactorioNg y! $   isn't impressed. Ng .zDO actorN Xz <  isn't impressed. N zLO actorN !z <  looks a bit cleaner now. N !z!OactorioN]!zQOactorioN!G{ <  looks a bit cleaner now. N!{QO actorN!{ Moving <  doesn't reveal anything. N!{VOactorioN2"| Moving <  doesn't reveal anything. N2"Z|FO actorN"| That doesn't get us anywhere. N"|VOactorioN"| Moving <  doesn't reveal anything. N"}IO actorN6#K} <  doesn't seem to help. N6#}OactorioN#}`You should say what you want to type in double quotes, for example, TYPE "HELLO" ON KEYBOARD. N#)~[O actorN$R~ Touching < $ doesn't seem to have any effect. N$~YO actorNw$~ Poking < $ doesn't seem to have any effect. Nw$ /N%You% can't seem to do that. !O actorN %J<!O actorN2%z<!O actorNY%<!O actorN%<!O actorN% <!O actorN%;<!O actorN%l<!O actorN&< KO actorNC&%%You% find%s% nothing of interest. NC&! 6N^It smells like an ordinary <. :N Waving <  doesn't seem to do much. 2N"I see no obvious way to do that. /N Ok, you just rubbed < .^Nm*It tastes pretty much like you'd expect N<, to taste.N5N%You're very strange, you know that?)NI see one (1) <.0N3 That doesn't seem very useful.KN}#It's about the size you'd expect <, to be.NEN5It's strange, the things you use to amuse yourself.4N $Are you in the same universe I am?UNS<7Nk+Have you had this fetish your whole life?N/NYou nibble on <  a bit.BN2You'll have to be a bit more explicit than that.BN2You'll have to be a bit more explicit than that.5NeI don't know how to light < .7NI don't see any way to roll < .9N I don't see any way to unroll < .8N7(You're babbling, man! Snap out of it!+Ns <  is not asleep.(,***%)(*    ( rO actorNL%You%'ll have to be more specific about how %you% want%s% to search that. NiOactorlistOfounddestitotNv< :N NNˎ)NڎN!NN#N4<!  N%You% find%s% NNʏNԏN@,N , \N E    and 0NG E   , and N~@&NN.Nϐ<!, which %you% take%s%. N! N! E !N?NO !+*O actorN"O actorNA\<! :NAxThere's nothing else under !< . NA<<NA,*O actorN`#O actorNA<! ;NAThere's nothing else behind !< . NA<<NA@-`^^^* O actorN$|O actorNA֛<! 7NAThere's nothing else in !< . NA.<<NAo:O actorN<! N)N̜%VO actorN<! N)%N*<<Nk.(O actorNF&*O actorN9k<N9N<N/(-O actorN^<N'fO actorNJThat was delicious! NJȦ>(<)(NJ!<&NJ-)N4>*0+ ,N < NI0 can be turned to settings numbered from 1 to !<+. It's currently set to !<,. NO actorN-(O actorN-1N!OactorioN.OactorioN6\ N6>D ><+ 3N6٫There's no such setting! N6N6><, UN6[>,N6Okay, it's now turned to <,. N6Ӭ9N6It's already set to <,! N6GN6VKN6zI don't know how to turn < N6 to that. N6ͭN6ح1`    to2/O actorNx0O actorN9<11N9Okay, <  is now switched N9<1 onoffN9J. N9YGO actorN<1It's already turned on! N2QO actorN"1NOkay, it's now turned on. N+IO actorNiV<1It's already turned off! Ni3RO actorN!1NܱOkay, it's now turned off. N3@@NQ>Nk\bN{\nN400N>N\tN5X6OremcurtotiN6<K"N_>LNyNNZN@N|E "NNN!N,O#actorvdobjprepioN h<E ME N=N %You% can't see a thing. N *N N )N =N!<)NMIn the dark.NdTO verbosityN<) NIt's pitch black. NIN<)&N) N=!NRNVxOvNz<D ND M "7NIt's pitch black.\nN!NN7  $ ground,  the ground HN>5  N8<ONj>5 NwO actorN Okay, %you're% now sitting on < . NC ONk&NuO actorNOkay, %you're% now lying on < . N ON<&N]P7OactordobjNNQ7OactordobjNN8:~  2<`OvdpiNKj <  doesn't appear interested. NK*NK{%O objN|=/N <, is here. N:qO itemN_ <  is carrying  N! and won't let %youm% have it. NRDO actorNBut <  is right here! N&&CO objNK<S< <S&N)&Np heq hisr he'ss himt he'su sv esw hasx doesy is98:F;  9N<TU0N <  is no longer here. )OvdpiNq/<=N`TRO actorNV5O actorN<T N<9&OvN<  you  yourself,  yourself %%You look about the same as always.   RKO actorN  You can't follow yourself! N 0O verbdobjprepiobjNEO roomN4kN4W#N4X<N4N4< D N4( N4@HN4[<  < N4 N4N4N4N4&,O roomN , N Lp youq yourr you'res yout you'veu v w havex doy are=>8888O actorNd?LJJJ(YQN<4N7(Taking off <  first)\nNhNl6O actorNn<YNn)Nn;OactorioN<YN)N ;OactorioN6<YNO)N_;OactorioN,<YN,)N,;OactorioNm<YNm)Nm ;OactorioN7<YNP)Nb6O actorN<YN)N&5O objN+!N+)&N+O actorNf <=Nf1%You're% already wearing < ! NfoINfz{4Nf%You% %do%n't have < . NfNfZ\O actorNOkay, %you're% now wearing < . NZ"NxaO actorN|<6N|%You're% not wearing < . N|N|[bO actorN9#Okay, %you're% no longer wearing < . N{!N@WA   @\XN <z <]N <^E<_jN "zN6 <` "<`zNq  (Opening !< )\nN <]N ]N %You%'ll have to open !<  first. N N !N+ N/ aeO actorN*W <zIt's already open. "N* <^It's locked. N* bXO actorN  Opened. N "zN <` "<`zN? cEO actorNh <zIt's already closed. N dXO actorN>  Closed. N> !zN> <` !<`zN>(eO actorNP<^It's already locked! aN<fIt can't be locked. 6N<z&#%You%'ll have to close it first. NgO actorNH%<h! JNHJ Locked. NH\"^NHy<` "<`^NHNH-BNHiAO actorN <^It's not locked! NBjO actorNi<h! LN Unlocked. N!^N<` !<`^NN-BNkOactorioNN<^It's already locked. N<fIt can't be locked. N<h! 9N*%You% %do%n't need anything to lock it. 6N<z&#%You%'ll have to close it first. NOlOactorioN|<h JN Locked. N"^N<` "<`^N 'NIt doesn't fit the lock. N4mOactorioNCf<^It's not locked! JNC<h! 8NC,%You% %do%n't need anything to unlock it. NCnOactorioN<h LNC Unlocked. NW!^Ns<` !<`^N'NIt doesn't fit the lock. NN<z It's open. RN!<^ It's closed and locked. NXIt's closed. NtNxBd""" withD$"""Af^E  (}N op$O actorN9<q$O actorNc#<dO actorNx  5N%You're% already in < ! NNZO actorNOkay, %you're% now in < . NJ&NkqN8%You're% not going anywhere until %you% get%s% out of N< . N!NJN< F  ( zrNo<E< >NIn <  %you% see%s% . N 4N1 There's nothing in < . Ni Nt O actorN QOactordobjN < < <N!%You% can't fit that in < . NT! Nx!N!N!O actorN!%*O actorN!<N"G  FN7#<zNk#<zxN# < N#<z0N$ is open. N$)N'$N+$ is closed. NF$za]O actorN$<z3N$ <  is already open! N$N$bO actorN<$<>N<'% Opening <  reveals . N<l%N<p% Opened. N<%"zN<%c`O actorN%<z5N% <  is already closed! N&N&d?O actorN7E& Closed. N7Z&!zN7p&XO actorN|&<z-N|& <  is closed. N|&N|&=O actorN'<zIt's closed. NH'HGb]O actorN)<^'N)It's locked. N)N*)bN!*eVO actorNzI*<^,Nzr*It's already locked! Nz*Nz*gO actorN*<zAN*%You%'ll have to close <  first. N1+.NU+ Locked. Nn+"^N+N+iAO actorNs+<^It's not locked! Ns+jAO actorN%, Unlocked. N<,!^N[,kIOactorioN,<^It's already locked. N,mFOactorioNP,<^It's not locked! NP+-IHhg(O actorN.-BN.j(O actorNK.-BNK/lOactorioNyE/<zHNyl/%You% can't lock !<  when it's open. Ny/jNy/<h 1Ny/ Locked. Ny0"^Ny)0'Ny40It doesn't fit the lock. Ny_0nOactorioN^0<h 3N^0 Unlocked. N^0!^N^0'N^1It doesn't fit the lock. N^-1J(sO actorN1t8OactordobjN9E2nN9p2uO actorNww2v8OactordobjN2lN2K(NF4"jO objN04<E<z:N04%You% will have to open !<  first. N05b?O actorN*5"zNH5 Opened. N]5L   that, that that!OactorioNC6w<OactorioNj7"Tap, tap, tap, tap..." O actorNY7x/OactordobjNx7.M that, that that!OactorioNAL9w<OactorioNho9"Tap, tap, tap, tap..." O actorN9yiO actorN9<N :Save failed. N6: Saved. NN:+NW:O actorN;^:zO actorN]:<!N]:Restore failed. ;N]: Restored. N];>>N]C;N]G;+N]W;O actorN^;{YO actorN;<N;Writing script file. N;+N;O actorNv;|5O actorNQ<> ZOT Nz<ON<N<> XYZZY N<PN<N<> PLUGH N=QN7=iN?=> WAZZUM Np=RN=,N= Okay, "<".N=N=O`SN 3>5 9 ]N R>5N l<0-N "0N  N N mN >5 3 4N %I think you may be on to something.%N 5>Y|E 5> |E 5>j|E 5>l|E 5>f|E 5>'|E 5> |N A voice from beyond calls to you: "That is a word of transport, not of wisdom. Seek the invocation in ancient and powerful writings."N Q(N ]You hear a distant rumble.N ../x XPS use a worn-out magic word onN gYou invoke an ancient word of power. So ancient, in fact, that it no longer works. Nothing happens.N Q4S plughN > ! yN fKYou utter a word of great mystical power. An object appears at your feet.N >5 >&N 1N A hollow voice says, "Y2".N N R$S wazzumN A hand slowly materializes right in front of your face, then slaps you five times. A booming voice says, "You're going to have to get over this rod fixation!"N S@OactorobjseqnoNGNH}OactorobjnameN[I 5OactorprepioNNI!NNI 0OactorprepN8J!NFJTd### aboutU|;;;S follow.RVx XVCCCS dig inB.B~x XWeeeS jump&O actorN#N Wheeee!.x XX|999S push.x XYCCCS attach1.1x XZ|999S wear.Zx X[S drop ;OactorprepioN#PN#P.!\Px X\`    on]MMMS  take off.![x X^^d""" from_|999S open.abx X`|:::S close.cdx XaS putb LOactorprepioN*Rc N* S.!bQx X\Pb`    inc S take POactorprepio O9#retremcurrem2cur2totitot2 jN?T N?Ue D d D b D \ D ^ E! N?EVN?_VN?mVN?VWN?V@N?V N?VN?WN? WN?)WN?W N?XN?'XN?1XN?XX@N?mX N?XE zD E <N?.YN?YYN?xY N?Y tN?Y @N?YE N?1ZN?LZN?RZ  N?wZN?ZN?Z3N?ZN?ZN?ZN? [N?'[wN?2[N?J[.adx Xe^b 8\x dd!!! offed!!! outfAAAS plugb.bx Xg|<<<S  look in.%x XhJJJS screw.!Bx XiLLLS  unscrew.!Bx XjYYYS turn.11x.x XB-k|;;;S switch./0x Xl|999S flip.x Xm|<<<S  turn on.2x Xn===S  turn off.3x XoNNNS2O actorN_" N`p|;;;S sit on.x Xq|;;;S lie on.x XrS  get out of rOactorprepioN)a E   N)%b  N)Qb N)mb.x Xs|;;;S get on.x XtXSuTTTS8O actorN(dTime passes...\nNEdv(SO actorNdqNd%You% %have% . N1e!+NWe3Nce"NeNe)Ne%You% %are% empty-handed.\nNewAAAS look through.x XxCCCS attackB.Bx Xy|:::S climb.x Xzx888S eat.'x X{|:::S drink.x X|AAAS give1.1x X}|999S pull.x X~|999S read.&x XRRRS throw.!x X1`    at===S  stand on.x XS standO actorN$j ! D  ! ,N$j%You're% already standing! #N$>k N$gkN$rkeeeSIO actorNk#Nice weather we've been having.\nNlAAAS show1.1x XJJJS clean.!Bx Xx888S say.|x XeeeSIO actorNm#%Your% throat is a bit sore now. NmYYYS move.1Bx X1|;;;S fasten.x X===S  unfasten.x XKKKS unplug.!^x X???S  look under."x X@@@S  look behind.#x XAAAS type\.\wx XQQQS lockB.!Buvklx XegSSSS unlockB.!Bstmnx XijSSSS^ detach.!^x X```SDO actorNsThis is no time for loafing!Ns|999S poke.x X|:::S touch.x X???S  move north.x X???S  move south.x X>>>S  move east.x X>>>S  move west.x XCCCS move northeast.x XCCCS move northwest.x XCCCS move southeast.x XCCCS move southwest.x X|;;;S center.x XSMwww+O actorNz<*O actorNH{ Awww+O actorNb{<*O actorNH{ @www+O actorN|<*O actorNH| ?www+O actorN|<*O actorNH@} Bwww+O actorN}<*O actorNH ~ Ewww+O actorN_~<*O actorNH~ Fwww+O actorN*<*O actorNH Gwww+O actorN<*O actorNHn H+O actorN< enter*O actorNUS I.pqx Xwww+O actorN<*O actorNH Jwww+O actorNg<*O actorNH͂ Dwww+O actorN <*O actorNH CSNL   O actorO yesnoN' N'.\bDo you really want to quit? (YES or NO) > N'N'\bN' *N':N'vN'N'Okay. N'N'ʆ+N'ӆrO actorN/Okay, now in WORDY mode.\nNV"6Nw">5 N+Nyyy]O actorNOkay, now in TERSE mode.\nN!!6NA+NJPPP4O actorN N+NˆT saveO actorO#savefileN3WFile to save game inN3! D  N3 Failed. EN3ÉN3Saved failed. N3 Saved. N3+N3.yx XBBB  restoreO actorO&savefileN6File to restore game fromN6! D  N6 Failed. mN6+!N6KRestore failed. ;N6p>>N6 Restored. N6N6+N6Ë.zx XHO actorO scriptfileN'LFile to write transcript toN'! D  N' Failed. =N'ЌN'Writing script file. N' N'+N'.{x XmmmQO actorNo!NScript closed.\nN+NJJJ.O actorO yesnoN'"N'B5Are you sure you want to start over? (YES or NO) > N'N' LN'ю\nN'N'#N'+N'1?N'@ *N'r \nOkay.\nN'+N'N'N'SSS7O actorNN.+N>jjj|N-c\(Unnkulian Unventure II: The Secret of Acme\)\n Version 3.0G for Great Underground Adventures CDN.N.<\nN0Copyright (C) 1993, 1996 David M.\ Baggett\n All rights reserved.\n Developed with TADS, the Text Adventure Development System.\b Difficulty Rating: At Witt's End (7 out of 10)\b Big thanks go to:\b \tD.\ A.\ Leary, for creating Unnkulian Underworld,\n \tTim "Timon Marmex" Trzepacz, for making the hint maps,\n \tBruce Davis and Kevin Bolduan, for playtesting,\n \tLars J0dal and Volker Blasius, for fieldtesting,\n \tChris Nebel, for Mac version help,\n \tTien-Seng Chiu, for PC version help,\n \tMike Roberts, for user support above and beyond the call of duty,\n \tThe Usenet rec.*.int-fiction regulars, for ideas and lively discussions.3N0***3N74Nn8This game is free. We encourage you to distribute it, but you may not charge any money for it beyond the cost of the media it is stored on.3N84N9.\(ADVENTIONS\) no longer supports this product. Please do not contact us for hints or to buy games. The best place to get our games is from the Interactive Fiction Archive on the Internet, site ftp.gmd.de. The best place to ask for help with our games is the Usenet newsgroup rec.games.int-fiction.3N9***N9wO actorN$CN7You can't think this game has any bugs left in it... N+N,O actorN~%E%`N(Undoing one command)\bN">5 N>>N5N)No more undo information is available. NN+NWh%%%  betweend""" overd$$$ aroundh%%%  throughd### northd### underd$$$ behindT054449 ,,Robert Abernathy the adventure game wizard,N h< N 1h< ))He's a tall, friendly-looking fellow with a beard. He looks very learned, with that inborn curiosity and yearning for learning only diminished by enduring a grueling PhD program at Acme Yooniversitee. He's riding a sporty-looking bicycle. He also solved Unnkulian Unventure I in about 2 hours. SQRN j<QQN j<Q xN jQN k<RRN #k<R N :kRN l< >5 UN 0l34N _l-Robert Abernathy just rode off on his bike.N slN {l<R N l<&N l<R N l<&N l<R N l<&N m<R N )m<&N Fm<R N \m<&N {m<R N m<&N m<R N m<&N m<R N m<&N n<R N 0n<&N On<R N fn<&N n<R N n&<&N n<R N n<&N n<R N o'<&N .o<R N Eo<&N fo<R N }o<&N o<R N o<&N o<R N o<&N p<R N p<&N >p<R N Up<&N tp<R N p<&N p<R N p<&N p<R N p<&N q<R N *q<&N Fq<R N ]q<&N |q<R N q<&N q<R N q<&N q<R N q<&N r<R N /r<&N Qr< >5 VN xr34N r.Robert Abernathy just rode in on his bike.\nN rN rN r=# N r34N r6Robert Abernathy the adventure game wizard is here. N 0s<  8N Qs)He's examining the staircase carefully.yN s<  N s*He's peering over the ledge cautiously. N s>N Dtj"Not bad," he says. "But if you think that puzzle was hard, you should see the ones that come later on."N ntN 3u"Tough break, guy," he says. "Nothing could be worse than a nearsighted dragon to impede progress in an adventure game. You'll get the drop on him if you throw your weight around, though."N ^uN duN iu<  N WvHe's scowling at the dryer. "Don't you hate when these damn things take your money? Boy that makes me mad!" He pounds his fist on the dryer, causing it to make a horrid grinding sound.N dvN iv<  D <  D <  D <  D <  N wp"These people sure are messy," he comments. "Stuff just seems to show up here; who knows where it comes from."N wN w<  AN w)He's carefully examining the machinery.N xN x< & ]N `xE"Have you found the password for the lab account yet?" he inquires.N xRN x< ' N eyHe's checking out a puddle of water on the floor at the base of the machine. "Hmmm. No self-respecting adventure game writer would put water there without a damn good reason," he theorizes.N yhN y<  (N y>"5}N 0ze"The Acme Prototypes Lab is up ahead," he says, "but getting in without clearance is a total pain."N JzN zy"The prototypes room is pretty cool, huh?" he nudges you. "Bet you don't know what to do with all that stuff, though!"N zN z.N z<  IN {1He's eyeing the holes in the wall suspiciously.N V{N [{<  {N {cHe's searching the piano. "I bet the piano's just a decoration, but you never know," he comments.N {FN {<  2N }"Don't bother trying to get the pilot light on. You can't," he informs you. "It's also worth noting how clean this kitchen is. Judging from the Cheez Pig Inn, either Acme's improved their sanitation standards, or this place isn't really ever used for food preparation," he reports.N [}N `} 0N f} You pervert! Leave him alone! [N }BMr. Abernathy does not seem interested in your amorous advances.N }N ~Abernathy chuckles at you. "You can try all you want," he laughs, "but I know for a fact there's no way for you to kill me in this game. If you'd played this as much as I have, you'd know that."N ~N ~OactordoNA Abernathy smiles. "You'll probably want to hang on to that. You may find a use for it later. The guy who wrote this game is a real weirdo, so you'll need all kinds of bizarre stuff to win the game."NA N ,OactorioNR <N C,OactorioN Y<!OactorioN  OactorioN Ӏ!SN 5Abernathy looks up from what he's doing and says, "N J$ N ɁqIt's really hard to see anything through those, isn't it? Maybe that's why the Acme lab workers are all blind.N ށ"SN N   rN CNWhat a cheezy fake. That wouldn't even fool a reasonably intelligent troll!N i"SN N T uN ΂QI think you better start the game over. That blob's not going to help you win.N "SN N V wN YSThe guy who wrote this game sure got a lot of mileage out of that one, didn't he?N "SN N W tN PDon't be fooled; you can't use that as a weapon. This is a non-violent game.N "SN 0N 6e {N WYou'd be wise to keep that around. You can't solve the game without help from Duhdha.N "SN DŽN ̈́ IN %Eugh. Keep that thing away from me.N "SN (N . N Ever wonder why incredibly useful objects like cans of kerosene are just lying around adventure game scenery for no apparent reason?N څ"SN N  N tvIt tells you how to get from the first Lost in the Rocks room (just south of the cubby) to the ledge over the water.N "SN N X pN LI think Duhdist monks eat those things for breakfast. Roughage, you know.N !"SN 9N ?Y oN KThe whole went thing actually evolved from an early form of tiddly winks.N "SN ƇN ̇ NN *I can't imagine what you'd do with that.N "SN )N /Z ,N GYummy!N U"SN mN s  N yIt's probably good for killing vampires, but that will have to wait until D. A. Leary's Horror of Rylvania is released.N "SN (N . ]N u9I'd guess that's the heaviest object in the whole game.N "SN N V RN .Well, at least it doesn't have a hole in it.N "SN N [ FN #"Don't pay any attention to that.N K"SN cN i" N A much better book than that is The International Chocolate Cookbook, by Nancy Baggett. Published by Stewart, Tabori, and Chang. Buy yours today!N %"SN =N C^ RN Z.I hear that's Dam Dedlee to certain species.N "SN N  UN Ë1Whatever you do, don't lose your Glo-Stik (tm).N "SN N W D X >N >Monks love those things.N ^"SN vN |i D a hN ҌDYou stole something from a Duhdist house of learning?! You thief!N "SN N # EN *!Watch that stuff, it's drugged.N Q"SN iN o _N ;That's not Acme regulation fastening equipment, you know.N ΍"SN N Y xN 2THmmm. COULD there be a connection between the LABCOAT and the ACME PROTOTYPES LAB?N a"SN yN  N zThat damn dryer took my last acmid. Boy that makes me angry! Just makes you want to kick the stupid thing, doesn't it?N "SN 4N : ~N ZA heap of soap flakes -- just the sort of thing you find lying around in a laundry room.N "SN ʏN Џr 4N How revolting.N "SN N !d IN 7%Pretty brain-dead puzzle, isn't it?N b"SN zN S SN /It's hard to believe those things are edible.N ϐ"SN N g ZN ;6Stay away from me if you're going to eat that stuff!N H"SN `N fi bN >Where do you suppose all the stuff that gets vaporized goes?N Ǒ"SN ߑN j VN 2Some programmer probably left that lying around.N 1"SN IN Ok N ΒfThe Klein bottle is a topological oddity with only one side. Mathematicians love that kind of stuff.N ޒ"SN N 9 LN (There's some useful data on that disk.N C"SN [N al WN z3It's hard to imagine what that would be good for.N "SN ˓N ѓm pN LSqueeze it, it's cuddly. Come to think of it, it's about your height too.N >"SN VN \n IN t%Don't you have better things to do?N "SN N o JN Ք&It's very sturdy, I'll give it that.N "SN N p KN 4'It smells very bad, like Red Herring.N a"SN yN q KN 'It's really heavy; I'll give it that.N Õ"SN ەN e D f =N Try looking through it.N ,"SN DN JZ FN ^"Won't do you much good uncooked.N "SN N ' 2N What a find!N ̖"SN N _ N iI think the last person who tried to open the grate dropped the key through one of the narrow slits. It's supposed to be funny, see.N "SN N \ N aNot very exciting reading, really. And I know Trollish. 'See Dick run. Run, Dick, Run. Etc.'N 8"SN PN Vs wN SThe game designer has asked me to inform you that the bookmark is very important.N ˘"SN N 7 @N It's a ... bit runny, sir.N $"SN <N Bt RN Z.If you can't figure that out, you need help.N "SN N   UN ™1Everyone who has that mirror seems to be moody.N "SN N u FN 3"Duhdha's real proud of that one.N ["SN sN yw ON +Now there's some hard-hitting journalism.N Ú"SN ۚN z >N It's Kuulest's mother's.N "SN 1N 7 TN Q0I think that's what they call an 'Easter Egg'.N "SN N | D } D ~ D  D  D  FN "It's yummy, and good for ya too!N 3"SN KN Q yN UHmmm. There's something strange about those stairs. Ah well, perhaps it's nothing.N ɜ"SN N  N `The dragon is nearsighted, and very clumsy. You wouldn't think he'd be hard to get around, but this is, after all, an adventure game.N "SN N  PN Ɲ,Do you like it? I think it's the kuulest!N "SN N L =N 1They're total eggheads.N P"SN hN n eN AThat one's easy to get running, but the dryer takes your money.N Ϟ"SN N  GN #Watch that thing; it eats acmids.N +"SN CN I D  D  D  D  N dIt's just some junk, put in the room so that there's something you can waste your time searching.N "SN N % bN f>I don't think that stuff is very useful, but you never know.N |"SN N ( N MMaybe that's the guy who wrote this game. On second thought, I don't think so. I hear that the guy who wrote this game is kuul beyond all possible belief.N d"SN |N 5 D 8 IN %It accepts rather unorthodox media.N ԡ"SN N  ]N C9The scuff marks on the floor are most certainly a clue.N Q"SN iN o RN .I used to be able to play 'The Entertainer'.N "SN ТN ֢ WN 3I think they're part of the Acme security system.N -"SN EN K  bN >I haven't been able to find an ID card anywhere around here.N "SN ģN ʣ! ^N :It's actually very easy to get it open. Try it and see.N %"SN =N <S=N 1You'll have to find out about that on your own.N W"N `  Your HousevN 4Nw You are standing in front of your house, a more-than-modest dwelling tucked in Sure-Wood Forest. The autumn air is a bit brisk, and today, for the first time, you can feel that winter is nigh. In your yard, to the northwest, is the familiar statue honoring you. North of here is Dawg Rock, a climber's paradise. To the east you see the picnic bench where you frequently dine with your "companions" in the afternoons. A boulder looms on the horizon southeast of here. N 58N )You don't recall having seen it before.+N >N  It's black.N IN You've been in there millions of times. Besides, you're supposed to be looking for a good story to get yourself back in the papers, right? So quit slacking!N !N ?FAGIII/N>NN4222Iz^ doorwN<z It's open. IN<^ It's closed and locked. NIt's closed. N?O actorN"You can't put anything in that! :NE*You have no tools to pick the lock with.Gz doorPN<zN It's open.NIt's closed.N(5N,%You can't put anything in the door.(O actorN'`O actorN?That was delicious! N?(N?!<&N? pmmm= KN>5 < N>5 N!N<< < <</OvN'< N'N7< /NM you're as good-looking as everNs< 'Nyou're a giant gorillaMN< -Nyou're a small wingless bird N< !Nyou're a warthogN< +N:you're a tiny green lizardN\< HN9you're a disgusting slime creature with four eyestalks<N< &Nyou look like Daffy DuckN&N <.N(2N>< NTNc< N<N< NN< N}N< NSN < N&)N4< NPN_Ne<RTO actorN )NYou can't follow yourself! N0O verbdobjprepiobjNO roomNJ(NJ7< D NJj NJ~QNJ< NJ< NJ NJNJNJ NJ&,O roomN ( N Bl+ + +  your nose,  your nose  your nosebN>5 MN6>It looks like your nose. You were expecting something else?NL>5 5Nf&It looks like a normal gorilla nose.N>5 )NYour beak is quite long.hN>5 -NYour snout is big and hairy.%N >5 aNS RYou don't really have one, but you do have nostrils, if that's any consolation.N >5 &N Yuck, how disgusting.rN >5 ZN NYour beak is big and flat, and bright orange. All told, it's quite comical.N(  N^ >5 N P;OactordoN  N >5 D>5 D>5 eN YYou don't have a nose per se, but you clip the clothespin to the nearest approximation.N >ZN TN HIt's really nice that they let you play adventure games in the asylum.N- H? wooden clothespin XXIt doesn't clamp together very tightly, but it would probably hold up something small. ZNK>5 9N L*You clamp the clothespin onto your nose.*NALYou clamp on the clothespin.NgL Boy, do you look silly.NL"NLNLPOactordoNuL D 5 NuL<Z@NuM4It won't clamp on tightly enough to stay fastened.NuBMaaa= more-than-modest dwelling [[It's definitely Kuul. (Acme had no part in its construction. Yuu mayd Dam shur uv thatt.) pN/You've been in there millions of times. Besides, you're supposed to be looking for a good story to get yourself back in the papers, right? So quit slacking!NF= statue (of you, that is)yNIt looks like youN>5 N.'N did when you were human.N rrr= Sure-Wood Forest 66Dense as it is, Shure-Wood forest may not last long if they keep cutting down all the trees. The lumber companies fight over the area because the trees have unnaturally strong wood. Hence the name. Rumor has it you had something to do with the strange strength of the trees, and you certainly don't mind... = forest full of trees O actorN;oHaven't you outgrown such behavior by now? You don't really expect anything useful to be up a tree, do you?N;2$= air NNIt's very dry, and seems like it's "charged" from a recent lightning storm.  O actorN~>O actorN)It smells like winter.NF0= picnic bench ))It looks like an ordinary picnic bench.  O actorNb fO actorNq@It has served you too well in the past for such ill treatment.N\\\=  Dawg Rock ''Why not get closer for a better view? =  boulderNb 8It looks like an average, run-of-the-mill huge boulderN 5N &, except that it's completely black.N .N  L= boulder 20 feet in diameterN*5It looks like any other boulder 20 feet in diameterN+<*N+, except that it's black.EN=+<(NV+, except that it's wet.N}+.N+ O actorN+>5 kNW,\It's almost as big as your house, fool. Even Acme Advenchurs (tm) wouldn't be that lame.N,>5 |N-mYou flex your powerful simian muscles and push with all your might, but are unable to budge the giant rock.[N-OYou're even weaker now than when you were human! (Pretty sad, if you ask me.)N-$O actorN-< 4O actorN .Yeah, right.N. O actorN".vO actorN%P.<D<)N%s.It smells like kerosene.N%.It smells minty.N%.N5 N.RN2, a trend which I'm sure will continue now that >5.NN_N7You walk around the yard to the front of the house.\bN< NS >>> In the Picnic AreaN%4N(']It's pleasant here in the summer, since the oak trees provide a thick canopy to keep the sun at bay. You've spent many an hour here making, um, conversation with your many guests, although now that it's gotten a bit chilly you'll probably stay indoors more. There is a familiar wooden picnic bench here, upon which you've eaten many a fine meal.3NA'4N'Dawg Rock fills your entire view to the north, and east of here you notice one oak in particular that's bigger than all the rest. Your house lies to the west.3N'4Nz(Looking down at the picnic table, you notice the word "zot" carved in gothic letters. Now who would deface your favorite table like that? How rude!N(AB====  rock face ^^It's an incredibly steep and treacherous rock face. There are pins in the rock, placed there by very experienced (not to mention insane) rock climbers. You can see fairly far up (a couple hundred feet), but to the left and right your view is obscured by dense foliage on the face. All in all, it's a beautiful piece of Mother Nature's handiwork. O actorNMO actorN\You'd need climber's gear. Like I said, they come from miles around to tackle this baby.N= collection of climber's pins @@They look pretty sturdy. You'll never know for sure, though. = more-than-modest dwelling EEKuul as it is, it pales in comparison to the majesty of Dawg Rock. = more-than-modest dwelling bbFrom here it's obvious that the shutters need painting. Must I always nag you about your chores?   = statue (of you, that is) ggYup, it's you all right. There's bird poop on your head, but other than that it's pretty impressive.  O actorN{O actorNYUNow that wouldn't be very nice. You need to relax more; have you tried meditation?NyO actorNO}hO actorNqBWhat, you want to look like a class A goofball in your own yard?NqO actorNO actorNdYYou can't reach the bird poop to clean it off. Anyway, it gives it that "ironic" feel.NRRR=  bird poop WWIt's probably from one of those damn (oh, escuuuse me, Dam) Acme mail delivery birds. LO actorN&You do that and I'm outta here, bud.N nO actorNHYou're not quite close enough, but I imagine it smells like bird poop.N-4= unmown grass It's almost knee deep. What have you been doing around here lately? I wonder if they put these mundane details in the adventure games about you... oO actorNIThough your bovine instincts say, "Yes," your human stomach says, "No."NO actorNF'jThere are more than 12 but fewer than a 16 billion blades of grass. You think of the weirdest things...NFbyyy= more-than-modest dwelling 44I see you forgot to fix those tiles on the roof... =  Dawg Rock ooInteresting. You see sunlight glinting off something near the top of Dawg Rock. Probably a spec of mica... = canopy of leaves O actorN7"ZO actorNY"4There are 162,431 leaves, by your best estimation.NY%#SSS= //oak tree (an exceptionally tall one, that is) ===  picnic bench __It's a wooden picnic table, probably made of wood from some poor tree from Sure-Wood Forest. >N$Try standing up first.N%!N-%VO actorNK%0Okay, you've moved the picnic table. So what.N%< At the Big OakN„>5|N߄< rN4N&LYou are sitting stationary in the tire swing attached to the big oak tree.NVN]< ZN|4N4You are swinging over the water in the tire swing.NNDž< N4NGgYou are gripping the tire swing for dear life, arcing out over the raging river at tremendous speed.NcNiNx4NYou are standing on the bank of a rushing river at the base of a giant oak tree, easily 200 hundred feet tall. You never knew the river was here, since your morning promenades normally take you into the forest instead. It looks to be about a class 5 rapids with white-water everywhere. It's at least 80 feet to the other bank. Looking back, you can see your favorite picnic table, a tiny square of wood tucked away in the trees far to the west. A path along the river bank leads southeast.3N4NRHanging from a branch on the east side of the tree is a tire swing. Given the tremendous length of the rope, it looks like the kids can swing out over the water.3Nr4The rope looks quite sturdy.NNGBCN_You climb the rope, pulling yourself up with your arms and legs, and slowly reach the top.\nN;NUAWNe1Trying to swim across would surely be suicidal.N!N= more-than-modest dwelling WWIt's slightly bigger than the boulder. Hey, is that a broken drain pipe I see there? t222= grassy field X  ( can of kerosene ttThe label says, "Kerosene, Dam Dedlee (Do not drink or bathe in.)" The can looks to hold a gallon of the stuff. 3NNN)]You gulp down some of the kerosene, and enjoy it going down almost as much as coming up.\nNSCNoNN :N!Phew! The fumes make you dizzy!N***6 ..Musty Room at the Foot of the Logpile StairsNW4Nr.You are in a dark, musty room at the base of the stairs leading to the surface. The only light here comes from the world above; it is otherwise completely dark in here. The walls are painted a dull gray and it's rather cold and damp here. All in all, it looks like an unfinished basement or cellar.3N4N@There are doorways in the north, south, east, and west walls.N?@ABCt" " " Grassy FieldN=4N>You are standing in the middle of a grassy field about 100 yards wide. Tall oak trees make a roughly rectangular border around it. The wind is gusting here at points, and the tall grass waves to and fro in the breeze. All in all it's quite pleasant here.3N>4N>oTo the north, you see a giant boulder. It looks like there's a tiny path through the trees to the southeast.N/??O ActorNM?CNl?)N?:O ActorN,?CN,?)N,?PA circling hawk suddenly swoops down and retrieves something from the ground.%You hear birds chirping cheerfully.#The air momentarily smells minty.jA little bunny rabbit pokes its head out of a hole in the ground, and, seeing you, scurries back inside.>NA34N A<@NGA?DONmA)You don't fit in the little bunny hole.NA!NAGwww= border of trees <<They look like "kite-eating trees," genus kaitus ravenous. = flock of chirping birds ))They sound like they're quite far away. @O actorNm<6You can't even see them!Nm[6$= bunny rabbit ""It just popped back in its hole. 5O actorN[*7Not a chance.N[>7IO actorNX7#You're not hunting wabbits today.N7p000=  bunny hole = hawk 33It's swooping around, probably looking for lunch. DO actorNd8You'll have to get it first.Nd8= gust of wind It's gusting and chilly.  1N9It smells like winter.N98= waves of grassN:N^:YHidden in the waist-high grass is a lost CheezBee. You pick it up and take it with you.N:5>&N:"N:?N:*It looks like ordinary waist-high grass.N;N; oO actorN.;IThough your bovine instincts say, "Yes," your human stomach says, "No."N.;MO actorN;'There are at least 6 blades of grass.N<,   Acme CheezBee (tm) SSIt's a disc-shaped hunk of synthetic cheese, suitable for hurling long distances.,Nan < 'O actorNThe CheezBee (tm) is pretty gross. It tastes kind of like unpasturized plastic. When they said, "suitable for hurling" I'm not sure they meant with your hands...N(N2!<&NI .O actorNeEuuck.Nr= gigantic boulder XXHmmm. From here, you can see that the ground is depressed just a bit all around it... |<<<= path through the trees ^^^ Abandoned Shack in a ClearingNsF4NG^In this small clearing in the trees is a tiny wooden shack, obviously vacant for quite some time and desperately in need of repairs. One side of the dwelling has partially fallen over, giving it the appearance of an oversized Acme Reulistic Towur of Peeza Modahl (tm). I'm not sure it's structurally sound enough for you to stay inside long.3NG40A path leads into the trees to the northwest. N0H>_NxHPEast of here, behind the shack, is a staircase leading down into the ground. <NH0East of here, behind the shack, is a logpile. NH>ANH2To the south you see a pile of ashes and debris.<N9I0To the south you see a narrow wooden building.NoIIFA@___= shack pNcBqNuB>5uuu In the Wooden Shack6NN4NOThe inside of the shack is barren, except for an old, broken bed in one corner. It smells pretty awful in here, like something died recently. The wind blows a slight chill, and it's dark in here, although a few little tendrils of sunlight creep in through the cracks.NOJt444= bunch of trees |<<<= path through the trees \=  logpileNCXNCIWhere the logs used to be there is now a pile of ashes and a staircase.0NC$It looks like an ordinary logpile.N(D <O actorNDYou're too far away.ND\ \ \=  logpileNb Nb<HNb9In the ashes you find a silver bullet, which you take.UNDcIRumaging through the logpile, you find a silver bullet. You pocket it.Nnc5> &Nc" NcNc<cLOnly ashes remain of the logpile. There is a staircase leading down here.eN,dIt just looks like a NJd<N`dwet Nndpile of logs.NdNdNd N eN+e<JNAe2There's no logpile left to move, you pyromaniac!NyeJN~e< SNe#You've moved it about a foot now.Ne<NeNe< NfMoving the logpile any farther looks more difficult than it's worth, especially considering you're about to pass out from exhaustion, although it does look like there might be something under it.Nf<NgN g< kN]gSNope, you're just too tired from moving it that last foot to even think about it.NgYNg1You succeed in moving the logpile a little bit.NgNgNgO actorNg"UO actorN!h/A fine idea, but how do you propose to do it?NUhNYhOactordoNah Nah<6Nah'You've already had your fun, Firebug.>Na4i2You cheerfully douse the logpile with kerosene.NaMi"Nagi)NawiYuck. What a mess.NaiNai4=  outhouseN E<N'E-It seems to have been burned to the ground.eNZE>$NyEIt seems to be wet.1NE%It looks like an ordinary outhouse.NE =  outhouse N>P<PLYou see here a pile of ashes and waste matter, the remains of an outhouse.NPQIt's just a horrible-smelling outhouse, with a little moon carved in the door.NQ<#N'Q It seems to be wet.NEQNKQ pNQqNQ>I>5UNAR<8NUR,I think you've already done enough damage.NROactordoNR YNR2You cheerfully douse the outhouse with kerosene.NR"NS)N SYuck. What a mess.N:SN?S}Nkj>0Nj!At the Logpile Behind the Shack/Nj#At the Staircase Behind the ShackNjhNj>Nk4NkHere you see a sizeable pile of wood, surely stacked up in preparation for the coming winter. From the looks of the shack, though, no one's going to be using the wood this season...NklNk4NlIHere, previously concealed by the logpile, is a staircase leading down.N;lN@lCNFl<DNpl>QNl*You walk down the once-hidden steps...\bNlNlNl<NlNlVN m.You walk around to the front of the shack.\bN@mNSm   nNiU>%NUOutside the Outhouse+NUAt a Pile of Ashes and DebrisNUNU>NV4NVFrom here it's pretty clear what this building's intended use is. It smells pretty bad, worse than Acme Doggie Doodle (tm), even this close. I wouldn't risk going in, if I were you. Better to head back north.NVNW4NsWxThere's not much of interest here, just a pile of ashes and debris. You'll find more interesting things to the north.NWNW;O actorNMWNMW)NMW?I N X>aN^X?There's nothing really left to go in, since you vaporized it.NrX!NXNX>E<NYYou enter the outhouse with the clothespin clamped to your nose, retrieve an expensive gold watch you find inside, then quickly exit before the noxious fumes can enter your nasal passages.NY5 &NY"NY  NY!NYNY<NvZqYou enter the outhouse with the clothespin clamped on your nose, but find nothing of interest (eeeucch) inside.NZ!NZNZ< N2[No, c'mon, really. It's really gross in there. You can barely stand it even out here. Surely there's nothing in there you WANT.Nb[<N[!N[N[< oN[2Look, I'm warning you, the stench will kill you.N[<N\!N+\wN0\< N\Look, why are you so desperate to get in there? Better to take care of any "needs" out here in the wilderness where you can breathe without passing out.N]<N#]!N5]N:]< hNX]+How many times are you going to try this?N]<N]!N]N]< N~^That's what I thought. Well, if you must, at least save the game first. I'm telling you, the smell will kill you, surely. I can barely stand it from here myself, and I'm 100% software.N^<N^!N^N^< N@_NOK, fine by me if you really want to do it. But don't say I didn't warn you!Nm_<N_!N_cN_< MN_4N_9You enter the outhouse, holding your breath.\n Outhouse3N`<N2`4N`It's even worse inside. You better get out of here quick. There's not even enough time for me to mention the expensive gold watch on the...3N`gN`4N)a?It's even worse inside. You better get out of here quick...3NJaNTa4NaSuddenly, you faint from lack of air. The horrible forces at work within the outhouse kill you almost immediately thereafter.NaCNb!NbNbN"bC}}}$ bed ssIt's definitely seen better days. There are no sheets on it, and no mattress. Looks pretty darn uncomfortable. O actorNJ"O actorNK6NK'You don't find anything of interest. NKVYou find a cute little teddy bear under the bed. You take it with you for good luck.NK"NK5>&NKNKNxLThere are no sheets, and besides that you HATE making beds because your former master Kuulest (that geezewart) always forced you to do it when you were his slave.NL\(  teddy bear ''It's just a cuddly little teddy bear.  CN!3It smells like a little kid. (You be the judge.) ]N!DCuddling the teddy bear makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.N!= tendrils of light XXMust you try every word in the description? The tendrils are metaphorical, you moron! sss= inside of a dilapidated shack **There's nothing special about the walls.  @= carving of the moonNS>cNSTSince you burned the outhouse to the ground, I don't see what you're referring to.ANT5It just looks like an ordinary carving of the moon.NGT  = pile of ashes and debris XXIt's not terribly interesting, although exactly what that debris is is unclear. Ick.  SSS?N<>N/Acme imitation Dam Ekspensiv Gowld Waach (tm)"N@expensive gold watchN^<)Nr (providing incorrect time)N,Nan <ON'From a distance, one might be fooled by this imitation Rolex, but up close it's pretty obvious that it's fake, partly because it's plastic and has, "Acme Dam Ekspensiv Gowld Waach (tm) -- Laiftaim Warruntee!" written in tiny letters on the face.\n It's not ticking. Nice paperweight, though.N "N(  p---( silver bullet The name pretty much says it. Don't know what good it'll do you without a gun, but it sure looks neat. There's no writing on it whatsoever.\n It's very cold to the touch. :N$*Surely things aren't that bad, are they?xxx= stone staircase ??The staircase is made of stone, and leads down into darkness. XXX= picnic bench  From here, it looks very tiny. =  oak tree It's extremely big and tall. NnNn>= rope It looks quite strong. I doubt it's made by Acme since they were driven out of the rope business years ago by that nasty "Saphtee Rowp" sudden snappage scandal. NwNKYou pull yourself up with your arms and legs, and slowly reach the top.\nN >5N+INC0You'll have to get to where the knot is first.Nyt444= bunch of trees t333= rushing river :  tirebNSp~Written in small letters on the tire is "Acme Soopur Hy-Trakshun Evurlast Raydeeuhl Taiur (tm) 34PSI".\n The tire is bald.NqpNp3Np4NpdYou notice a damp piece of paper in the tire. Pulling it out, you realize it's a map of some kind.N q5>&N)q"NGqNLq O actorN_rO actorNrOkay, you're now sitting in  . Nr(Which direction do you want to swing? Nr>5NspNsq$O actorNh,s<H(. map Looks like a kid's treasure map drawn in crayon. It seems to indicate that if you start somewhere and go NW-E-S-S you'll get to some other place.N<     tire swing The tire swing was probably erected for the local kids, perhaps years ago when more folks lived in the area. Whoever put it up must have used one heck of a ladder. ;O actorNExNYx)Nlx6O actorNxNx)NxjO actorNZx  ;NZxYou're already sitting in < ! NZyNZ yO actorN9yOkay, you're now sitting in < . Npy(Which direction do you want to swing? NyNyANy< NzYou get a good push off the tree and start swinging out over the river. Pretty darn frightening at first. When the climbing freaks get tired of Dawg Rock, they probably do this.\nNz<Nz!NzNz< Nd|NWheee! With another push, you're now swinging WAY out over the water. Below you, the rapids rush past, sending a chilly breeze up your back. You can feel the rope pulling back fiercely now against your tremendous momentum. Unfortunately, this momentum is soon going to be directed back towards the tree. I hope you bounce.\nN}|<N|!N| N|< NTucking your feet into the tire, you rocket back towards the tree, recalling a "wise saying" your former master Kuulest told you about "equal and opposite" something-or-other. Closing your eyes, and fearing the worst, you wait. The tire soon slams into the giant oak, bouncing back with a force that nearly throws you out of the tiny donut o' death. Zooming across the water again, you open your eyes and realize you are not dead yet. As the tire reaches the peak of its arc, however, you lose your grip and are sent flying through the air out of control as the swing zips back towards the tree. Miraculously, you land in a pile of leaves on the other side of the bank, no worse for wear.\nN<NNNJN&< NA4NU< NuYou flail around trying to get the swing going, but you'll likely have better luck swinging away from the oak tree.NyN8dYou should probably stick with what you're doing, unless you want to fall out and break your neck.NoNv!NNts> ]NsEYou contort your body in such a way that you exit the rubber donut.NsNs> {N8tcOn your return approach, you nimbly dive out of the tire and onto the ground. Boy, was that fun!NotNst> NguHurtling towards the oak at untold velocities, you fear for your life and leap out of this kiddie death trap just before impact, rolling for at least 10 feet, and kicking up a billowing cloud of dust and debris. N~uNu> Nu5Nu34NuXCongratulations, you made it across! Hope you don't need anything on the other side...N0v  NBvNvNvCNvNv\bNv0 88On the East Bank of the River, Opposite the Tire SwingN4NThe rapids run through here like a stampede of cattle; you "moo" in appreciation. Across the river is the giant oak tree with the tire swing tied to it. NE>3Nf4N"Dense trees block travel in almost all directions, although you can follow the bank further downstream to the south. Looks like you could make it through to the east with some effort, too.3N@4!There is a pile of leaves here.Nk@3A4BWN1Trying to swim across would surely be suicidal.Nܩ!N4N The dense forest bars the way.!~~~=  tire swingYN'2It looks like an ordinary tire swing from here. N^<Ns nNڣ< ?N0The tire swing is still zooming about wildly. N'< `NtQThe tire swing just bounced of the tree and made another pass over the water. N< tNeThe tire swing is moving back and forth, just barely reaching the water at the peak of it's arc. N)< DNF5The tire swing is slowly dangling back and forth. N< zNkThe tire swing is stationary, but the tire itself is spinning around like a yo-yo as the rope unwinds. ,N The tire swing is stationary. NDkNW<Nx< 0NCNNæNɦHHH Up the Oak TreeN4NߔTYou are at least 150 feet off the ground now, and quite giddy from the height. You carefully balance on the branch to which the swing is tied. From way up here, you can see that the river goes straight through Dawg Rock to the north, and it looks like there's a natural bridge between the western part of Dawg Rock and the eastern part. N >5TN`HLooking up and down the river, you see no obvious way to get across. N|3N4NNorth of the big oak tree, near the natural bridge, you see a beautiful waterfall, a strikingly kinetic spectacle next to the steady inanimacy of Dawg Rock. Now you know why the rapids are so treacherous down below. The oak tree's thick bark has a pleasant earthy smell. The oak, Dawg Rock, and the waterfall, you think to yourself, have been here together for hundreds (maybe even thousands) of years.N9' ( eN]3Nf4N4You see something glistering behind the waterfall.NNDjNBYou slide down the rope, being careful not to get rope burns.\nN N NibI don't think that would be good for your health, particularly since balance is not your forte.N!N= giant oak tree NDrThere are no branches to grab onto low enough for you to reach. There is, however, a NICE STURDY ROPE nearby...N On the West Bank of the RiverN4NКYou're on the west bank of the river. On the other side, there is only dense forest. The soil has a reddish tint here. You can go upstream, to the northwest, or downstream, to the south.NF@+AWN&1Trying to swim across would surely be suicidal.N]!Nnvvv= branch DDCarved in the bark is the phrase "Valley King luvs Amanda 4Ever". ggg=  tire swing 11It looks like an ordinary tire swing from here. t333= rushing river  = rope &&The rope is tied to the branch here. NbnNBYou slide down the rope, being careful not to get rope burns.\nN΍>5NNThe knot's far too tight for you to untie it. And I don't suppose it's occurred to you that that rope is your only way down? Good thing you got me along to save you from yourself...NĎ!@=  Dawg RockN" # NwLooking more closely, you see what appears to be a book on top of a plateau at the west side of the natural bridge."NIt's very beautiful.NՏ "S S S(.  recipe book vvIt has a red cover, is titled "Yummee Treets," and is a hardback. Inside are recipes for hundreds of tasty desserts. ++The jelly donut recipe looks pretty good. #:OactorioN+  E  \|NL,gYou cleverly swap the recipe book with the holy book while the troll is distracted with the puzzle.N`,5>\&N|, >"&N,<;N,\nN, N,"N-N-N -)N#-N6- <|E ]>\|ZN-BAs you reach for the recipe book the troll swats your hand away.N-N-)N-N- <|E ]>\|WNe.BAs you reach for the recipe book the troll swats your hand away.N{.N.#t ((On Top of Dawg Rock, West of the RiverLNsO4N[PHere you are, on top of Dawg Rock. This would sure impress the climbers, you think to yourself. Too bad no one's around to notice. But no matter. The striking beauty of Dawg Rock and the landscape below make standing up here alone a great joy.3NP4NQYou can see for miles around -- you spot the familiar landmarks you've come to know on your travels so far: your house, to the south (you can just barely make out the statue of you in the yard); the waterfall to the east; the giant oak with the tire swing attached to it, a bit downstream from the waterfall; and the big boulder sitting motionless in the field south of your house.3N0R4NSSThe air is very chilly up here out in the open, and the wind is gusting up just enough to keep you on your toes. The crisp smell of winter pleases you. It is peaceful here, but you sense that there is great evil brewing somewhere in the lands around you. If only Duhdha were here to guide you. Or perhaps your former master, Kuulest.3NS4Nah, he was a geezebag.3NS4NKTThe rocks become trickier here, and consequently the only ways to go are east, back to the bridge, and down, which I would highly advise against.NwT<-NT"NT NTNTD\NT6I told you, I advise against it. Must I always nag?NU!N.UA$(= bookNV>" # mN^It's impossible to tell exactly what it is from this distance. It's got a red cover, though.(NI don't see any book here.N % = natural bridge Looks like it's about 100 feet long, fully spanning the river below. On the west side, it ends at a plateau. On the east side, the end is obscured by the rock. &~~~=  waterfall IIIt's quite spectacular. But I wouldn't want to go over it in a barrel. '(  gold bar __It's a large gold bar, and from the weight it seems to be solid. It must be worth a fortune! ((< Behind the WaterfallN4NFvYou are standing in an open room behind a waterfall. Familiar images of the outside world sparkle through the shimmering curtain before you. The air is crisp and fresh here, and it's considerably cooler here than back in the cave. The sound of the water, both from the waterfall and from the whirlpool in the cavern behind, is loud but somehow soothing in its constancy.3Nm4NThere's a small passageway to the east, and climbing back down will take you to the hydro-electric generator room, but it's so peaceful here that it's tempting to spend an hour nestled comfortably behind the waterfall.N\D:ACJN<D)AAA= river bank made of red soil *t333= rushing river +l 22On the West Bank of the River, at the Boat Wreck)Nɞ4NԟYou're on the west bank of the river. Some fool tried to take a boat out in these waters, and you see before you the end result: pieces of boat litter the bank. You can only go back upstream, to the north -- your path downstream is blocked by the trees.N?A|N@VTrying to swim across would surely be suicidal. Just look what happened to the boat.Nj!N{,t333= rushing river +-X= wrecked boat It was a one or two-person craft, but there's not much left of it now. Looks like it smashed up against the rocks and splintered into a million pieces. Most of it's probably been washed away by the torrent of water. +.|:::= dense clump of trees +/= rushing river hhWait! There's a giant alligator in there! Oh, no, sorry. It was just my imagination. Never you mind. 0YYY=  alligator $$I told you, it was my imagination. 1t444= giant oak tree 2|;;;= border of dense trees 3T On the East Bank of the RivernN4NGThe soil here has a reddish tint, and the water is even rougher here than across from the oak tree. There's no obvious way to go but north, back upstream. Across the river and farther downstream you can see the remains of a boat scattered along the bank. There is a large rock here. Why not take a break and have a seat?N"?BWNH1Trying to swim across would surely be suicidal.N~!N4PQN4NYou are in a tiny clearing in the woods. The surrounding trees make it darker here than outside the forest. Paths into the forest lead east, northwest, west, and south.NѹA>FFB@N5h' ' '= pile of leavesrNYIt's just a big pile of leaves. Wonder what it's doing here, in the middle of nowhere?N٪ O actorN"7O actorN;There are 69,105 leaves.O actorN pO actorN.@Underneath the leaves is the entrance to a spectacular, cavernous dungeon! Oh, wait, that's not here, sorry. My mistake. Nothing under these leaves, no sir.N.MO actorNQ"$O actorNn<O actorNIO actorNk3You bend down to grab up an armful of leaves, but then think better of it. Your task is to drum up publicity for yourself, not to do yardwork.Nkg6t333= rushing river 37rrr= wrecked boat ::It looks like it must have crashed up against the rocks. 38AAA= river bank made of red soil 39@@@ . rock It looks like a normal rock, suitable for sitting upon. The ground seems to be slightly depressed around it, though, and it smells kinda funny. Sadly, someone has scrawled graffiti on it...N: 3 "N:It smells minty.:=. scribbled wordN< ==It says, "Great ___!". You can't make out the second word. 3;hggg= woods>N'.Surely you've outgrown such behavior by now.<`; 4=`; >>|999QNM4NYou are in a tiny clearing in the woods. The surrounding trees make it darker here than outside the forest. Paths into the forest lead west, north, and south. To the east the forest opens up into a courtyard.N6B4?H@@AR?`; @@QqN4NYou are in a tiny clearing in the woods. The surrounding trees make it darker here than outside the forest. Paths into the forest lead north and south. A tree has fallen over hereN>SON @, and seems to be rotting rather nicely, from the smell of it.2ND&. It has a slow fire burning in it.Np?>@BA`; BB0QN4NHYou are in a tiny clearing in the woods. The surrounding trees make it darker here than outside the forest. Paths into the forest lead north and south.Ns?@@DC`; DD4QN4NIYou are in a tiny clearing in the woods. The surrounding trees make it darker here than outside the forest. The only path into the forest leads back to the north.N?BE`; FFd$$$QN4NYou are in a tiny clearing in the woods. The surrounding trees make it darker here than outside the forest. Obvious paths into the forest lead southeast, east, north, and northeast.NG4AH?[EJBPG`; HH@QN4NYou are in a tiny clearing in the woods. The surrounding trees make it darker here than outside the forest. Paths into the forest lead west, north, and south.NBF?J@>I`; JJHQN;4NYou are in a tiny clearing in the woods. The surrounding trees make it darker here than outside the forest. Paths into the forest lead southwest, northeast, and south.NHF@HELK`; LLt111QN[4NYou are in a tiny clearing in the woods. The surrounding trees make it darker here than outside the forest. The only obvious path into the forest leads southwest, but the foliage is a bit thinner here in certain areas.NLHJ?\M`; NNQ Looking Down an Old WellN4NqYou are in a tiny clearing in the woods. The surrounding trees make it darker here than outside the forest. Strangely enough, there is a well here, right in the middle of the clearing.3N4(The only path leads back to the north.N?4D?N+I see no obvious way to go down the well.!O`; PPTQ At the Falls:NG4NYou are standing on the east bank of the river, right at the top of a magnificent waterfall hundreds of feet tall. The sound of millions of gallons of water plunging down into the base below deafens you. Treacherous rocks bar your passage upstream, and the thick forest prevents travel downstream, but here the view is incredible. The only obvious path into the forest leads east.3N4NcuThere is a metal grate in the ground here, leading to what appears to be a room carved out of the rock underground.NuDN>]^E>]zN^NXN6You don't fit through the narrow slits in the grate.N!N+N0AFQ8888 Tiny Clearing in the WoodsC:N&You flap your arms, but to no avail.!D=N%)I see no obvious way to go underground.!wNQYou try to fight your way through the thick foliage, but are unable to get far.NԸ!NR)))  CourtyardXNo4NYou are standing at the west end of a beautiful enclosed courtyard filled with flowers and trees of all kinds. A huge fountain in the center of the courtyard sends water high into the air. High stone walls surrounding the yard give this place a feeling of seclusion and secrecy.3N4N|A sign on the outside of the west wall reads, "ACME Headquarters". There is another smaller sign nailed to a nearby tree.3NB4N|aYou can travel east across the courtyard along a gravel walkway, or west into the dense forest.NB>AmNr%NThe gravel crunches loudly beneath your feet as you walk across the courtyard. Your noisy passage attracts the attention of several vicious guard dogs which promptly leap upon you. After a gruesome struggle, the dogs overcome you.NCN!N0)NYou pad across along the gravel walkway in your slippers, not making a sound. You come to a set of marble steps which you ascend into the main Acme building.N<-N"N*  N=NE\n\bNSCsNntNNNCS|: : : rNѻ<=N.rotting tree, with a slow fire burning in itN"rotting treeN6NG<dNUIt was once a home to hundreds of innocent animals, which you have since immolated.\NPIt seems to provide a home for countless grubs and other disgusting wildlife.N @ NNԽ<&NIt smells like ashes.aN<)NIt smells like kerosene.*NIIt smells like rotting wood.NmNtOactordoNPɾ NP<+NPWhat are you, an arsonist?CNPM7You pour kerosene in a hollowed out part of the tree.NPh"NP)NPYuck. What a mess.NPNPCNƿT ! N>TN)NQZOactordoN2>T ! NO>TQNt)QNFN-There's no good surface on the fallen tree.NTF fire in the rotting treeNIt's burning in the rotting tree. It's not too big, but on a brisk day like this anything that warms your hands and toes is welcome.N<TV|BNX There is >V, sitting on the coals.NN  1N!It smells like ashes and coals.N>Q OactordoNjW N{You need something to cook it in. If you just sit it on the coals it won't be terribly tasty once it's cooked, you know.QNV N!V>W|NeThe alligator egg cooks up nicely. You wait for the bucket to cool, then take it out of the fire.N!>W&NVX&NUNVY|`NKHThe labcoat gets a little warm, but it'll take days to dry it his way.NuN{VZ|N The cake mix seems to start cooking, but then evaporates into thin air, all at once! That's Acme Sooper-Qwik-Ryze Kayk Myx (tm) for you...NF!>Z&N`Nq)QNN*NY N?If you put the labcoat in the fire, you'll likely burn it to a crisp. Haven't you ever heard those stories about people who to tried to dry their shoes in the microwave?!NkTNqZ N@The cake mix bubbles slightly for a few seconds, then explodes, covering you with sticky goo. How disgusting. I guess it must have been Acme Sooper-Qwik-Ryze Kayk Myx (tm)NQ!&NgjNvI don't think putting  N+ in the fire is going to improve it any.NNU`=oN collection of disgusting grubsN>S&N6, now immolated (by you)NV  Euuckk. @2N"I'd rather eat a Cheez Kee (tm). =N-They smell like grubs; i.e., totally gross.V]]]F  old metal bucket,N&an < NN&QOactordoN('T>V|ND'W  N (You crack the egg on the rim of the bucket and pour the contents onto the hot metal. The alligator egg cooks up nicely. You wait for the bucket to cool, then take it out of the fire.N7(!>W&NQ(V>X&Nr(5>V&N(pN(I don't think putting  N(1 in the hot bucket is going to improve it any.N)N )N))QN%)W$   alligator egg, an alligator egg **It looks pretty much like any other egg. 'O actorN9 The raw egg isn't exactly yummy, but be assured that it's very high in protein. I just hope you don't get salmonella.N9(N9!<&N : 9N:)It doesn't smell like much of anything.6NL:&I'm game. How do you propose do it?XQQQ fried alligator egg RRIt looks pretty much like any other fried egg, but it has a greenish tint to it. 'hO actorN; That was delicious!N;(N;!<&N; DO actorN;'It smells like an ordinary fried egg.Y  ?~NM<NMwet NM labcoatNM<,NM with a big stain on the frontNN :NvN*Good idea! How do you propose to do it?INN<NNIt's sopping wet!NN)NO gN(O<%N=OIt smells like soap.'NaOIt smells like chemicals.NOZh& & & bowl of cake mix '9N)The cake mix doesn't appear appetizing. NЇ/NIt smells like uncooked cake.NQ8OactordoN&You're really weird.[L    **Dawg Rock, on the East Side of the RiverN$4N%Hidden away in the forest here is a less treacherous face of Dawg Rock. You see no climbing pins here, so it looks like the climbers either haven't found this area or simply don't want to bother with it because it's too easy. Nevertheless, the rock is still a good hundred feet tall here, and there are many nooks and crannies on the face. Looks like it would be fun to explore.3N%4.Head south and you're back in the clearings.N%C@FD=N&)I see no obvious way to go underground.!|N&VYou try to fight your way through the thick foliage, but are unable to get very far.N&!N&\H Retreat in the WoodsNF4NHere, hidden deep in the forest, is a simple wooden cottage with no outstanding features other than the twin statues of Duhdha on the left and right sides of the doorway. It is peaceful here. N e 5 gNA3NJ4'In your pocket you can feel your own N|>eN@, and are reminded that you derive peace and strength from it.N>eE f5N Somehow, you feel that you will need both wisdom and luck to pass between the statues -- that this is a test of your faith in the power of Duhdha.NN3N4N IThe entrance to the retreat is straight in front of you, to the north.N%4N>CgN^)Nq/NCgN)N@L?bN>gE>eN;NThe monk says, "Enter, my son. May you have good luck in all your travels."Ng>f5N N\bNfNN>gNThe monk bars your way. "My son, you have not yet proven your faith in Duhdha. Use whatever means you have to call upon Duhdha for strength, wisdom, and good fortune. The legends of Duhdha are many and varied, yet it is said that all are true."N!NeN >eNIn a flurry of motion, the old man swats the side of your head. "One cannot truly feel contentedness until one has made another content, my son."N!NN4N8@As soon as you try to enter the cottage, the monk accosts you.3NR4NK"First you must prove your devotion to Duhdha, my son. That is The Way."3N4N%The old man moves his hand an inch, barely touching you. The tremendous impact of his blow sends you flying through the trees. What a strong Duhd!N`\nNlJNNIN<?]pppoN iron grate N^<|Nin the ceilingNin the groundNN(^<|JNu2It just looks like an iron grate in the ceiling.N|N4NzIt looks just like the grate outside the Unnkulian Underworld, which you of course explored in your previous adventure.N"^_|NG3NQ4NLooking more carefully, you notice a small metal object on the floor below the grate. The sunlight occasionally glints off the object, whatever it is.NN N34N%<z#N9The grate is open.`NS<^0No!The grate is closed and locked."NThe grate is closed.N ENU^>5|Nq^NPNh_^ Under the GrateN4NhA shaft of sunlight pours into the center of this man-made room through a grate just above your head.3N&4A narrow passage leads west.NNBHCNr>]^;NThe grate is locked.N!N]N>]z;NThe grate is closed.N!N NPN9_|999J  metal key ^`fff= ""incredibly magnificent waterfall,Nan < Pat333= rushing river Pb=  statues ccThey are likenesses of the "Teaching Duhdha", intricately carved out of some kind of white stone. \4Nc$Thievery is not the way of Duhdha!cIII=  retreatN>\ \dLLL= forest The forest is very dense \es s s( figurine of the Great Duhdha It's a jade figurine of the Laughing Duhdha. Legend has it that you should rub it for good luck. It's quite high quality, and, in fact, one-of-a-kind. You wouldn't ever want to part with it. 5 NN7You feel more enlightened and at peace with yourself.N<-N4"NO NaNgYN@An affront to the Great Duhdha! You musn't speak such things!N RN9Smells like a rock. You were expecting something else?Nf !!Inside the Cottage in the WoodsN4NGThe inside of the cottage looks like a classroom, with a multitude of desks arranged in organized rows facing a large chalkboard. What a complete let-down. For a moment, you have the urge to club the annoying monk outside, but quickly recall that a) that is not The Way, and b) the monk is well-versed in the martial arts.3NA4NYou wonder for a moment why the monk is a veritable killing machine if violence is not The Way of Duhdha. Maybe this is some kind of scam.NcN;You walk down one of the aisles and out of the cottage.\bN1\NFg9 wizened old manN  fLike most old men, he's probably quite wise. He looks familiar, but you can't quite place the face.N G <1N Z % He seems to be enjoying his meal.N  \=N 34N  <KN H <There's an ancient monk here, slowly chewing a fried egg.|N pThere's an old man here, pacing up and down and muttering to himself. He sees you and smiles enigmatically.N O actorN OactordoN X N The old man gratefully accepts the fried egg. "A marvelous breakfast, my child," he says. "I thank you. May your tonails never grow warts."N !>X&N "N N  D ^ N xThe old man shakes his head sadly. "If you expect me to eat that, you're not very far on the path to enlightenment.">N W N LpThe old man holds up a hand. "An egg is a fine breakfast indeed. But uncooked eggs are the devil's drink."N [Z gN XThe old man furrows his brow. "Such a poor meal is harmful to the body," he chastizes.6N X D Y N "Ah yes, my child," the monk intones, "through went some have found enlightenment. The game truly holds all aspects of Duhdha. The simple stones give life to each other on the board, much as an egg gives life to the world around it."N e N The monk smiles. "Surely," he chuckles, "you do not want to part with so powerful an artifact. Keep it and cherish it, for when you have it know that Duhdha is with you, always."JN 9>The old monk frowns. "What need I of such worldly things?"N IIzThe wise man pulls his left eyelid over his nostrils. "He who can see his own nose hairs knows of his own social worth."tThe monk squats on the floor, then stands. "An egg cannot be laid by a human, or we would know which came first."tThe old monk examines your possessions. "Tch. Carrying such worldly tripe. I had thought you to be a Kuul Duhd."I"An egg," intones the old man, "Is unto our stomachs as we are to God."UThe old man does a cartwheel. "Breaking an arm is never as good as breaking a leg."RThe old man puts a finger to his lips. "What is the sound of no eggs breaking?"m"When a breakfast dish imitates a cowboy," the monk says, "That is eggs act Lee - what am I trying to say?"^N X< >5 :N ~34N <I@N N  N 7N 'The monk smells like an Egg McMuffin. N 6N &The monk leaps away from your grasp.N LN iYou lunge at the monk, but he nimbly steps aside. "My child, that is not the way of the Great Duhdha!"N !OactorioNg )OactorioN -W NN [?The old man frowns. "An uncooked egg is the pitiful dregs."N X KN <The old monk smiles. "If cooked it be, it's damn tasty."AN  D ^ MN ?>The monk clutches his stomach. "A foul affront to Duhdha!"N cW VN GThe man grunts disapprovingly. "Violence is not the way of Duhdha!"rN \ NN ?The old monk grins knowingly. "A house of Duhdha, my child."N 8e D b N The old man clasps his hands together. "Praise Dudha!" he cries. "He is the benificant, great, all-powerful, all-knowing teacher of knowledge! Why, he is Dudha - no more, no less!".N <"The old monk is lost in thought.N i\nN rhD=.  chalkboardN<N*<$N>The board is blank.NThere is a poorly rendered representation of Duhdha drawn in chalk, and labeled underneath "Kuul". Next to it is a sketch of an Acme Cheez Kee (tm), labeled "Unnkul".N! fNN< i|;N,You wipe the board clean with the erasers.1N%You wipe the board with your hands.NK"Ncikkk( pair of chalky erasers f!OactorioNGxBO actorNnBxOactordoNC N%C`7NAC   gets a bit chalky.NpCNuC,OactordoNyC<O actorN@C5O actorNbCThere are two of them. O actorND^O actorN3D8They're so chalky that when you smell them you sneeze.NpDO actorN#vD!O actorNED`j= desks jjThe desks are the annoying all-in-one-chair-and-table kind so popular among school administration types. fk@=  stone well It's made of stone. Quite sturdy, but doesn't look like it's been used in years. It sure is deep, though. What little sunlight creeps into this clearing glints eerily off the water far below. Nlnnn=  well water 88Unfortunately, you can't seem to get the well working. Nmooo=  stone walls,  stone walls %%They look like ordinary stone walls Rn   =  lush flora &&The trees and flowers very beautiful,  lush flora RQNC8There are no branches low enough for you to grab onto.NMN4You munch on some of the edible plants. Ooh, yum.N JN1A rose by any other name still smells as sweet.N]N_DPicking flowers in someone else's garden is not the way of Duhdha.Nwo=. sign nailed to a tree 44It says, "Beware of Dogs". (Hint: Save game now.)N< R(NvIt's nailed to a tree.pt444= gravel walkway Rq=  fountain It's got your typical cherub-spitting-water motif, although in this case the little lad is a sort of orangish yellow color. Egad, he's made of Cheez (tm)! How repulsive... R <N{,The fountain smells like a Cheez Kee (tm).@N0Bleah. I don't even want to think about that.%NYou're not thirsty.r$  ? Acme CheezSlippers (tm) EEThey look neither comfortable nor tasty, and they smell like death.,!NU a pair of < `NV<7N2V(You might want to take them off first.NhV)N{V'NVwThe CheezSlippers (tm) taste even worse than they smell. After choking them down you suddenly feel incredibly sick.N W(N)W!<&N@WCNZW pO actorNvW<+NWThey smell like your feet.NWHow nausiating.NWuNW34NW;The toxic effects of the CheezSlippers (tm) overcome you.N*XN4Xs$9N< !NNzN< N>5 >r|INd #\n\bSuddenly one of the guard dogs comes hurrying towards you. It looks friendly and playful, as though it were greeting its master. It bounds up to you, grabs your slippers (evidently to carry them inside for you), starts heading back into the building, then stops in its tracks. It turns towards you and stares momentarily with its head cocked sideways. You stand there motionless as the beast eyes you, and then say, "Good Doggie. Nice Doggie." It then realizes you're not who it thought you were and lunges for your jugular, successfully.N{ N +N \n\bSuddenly one of the guard dogs comes hurrying towards you. It looks friendly and playful, as though it were greeting its master. It bounds over, then stops in front of you, alternately staring suspicously and sniffing your ankles.N >5 w N N N N# < NA >5 >w Nm \n\bN uYour turning your back on the dog convinces it that you're an enemy. After a terrible mauling, you bleed to death.N N7 N= >w1N^ !>w&N{ CN N \n\bN3 {The dog shakes its head, finally realizing that you're not actually its master. I'll leave the rest to your imagination.NL Nw N} N t$ Entrance to ACME HeadquartersN4NYou are standing at the top of the steps looking into the Acme building before you. It's very bright out here (and comparatively dark inside), so you can't really get a good look at what lies ahead.NBRAvIN<ADN<BC=N)You're already at the top of the steps.!uTTT= steps ##They just look like normal steps. tv|;;; !!Acme Headquarters Entrance HallNM4NYou are standing inside Acme Headquarters in a long east/west hall. The walls and ceiling are covered with mauve and purple stripes, and the floor is carpeted with an orange and green shag.N!AzBtwT  = vicious guard dog NUO actorNWfOactordoNy;The dog sniffs your hand and looks up at you quizzically.Ny 1N!The dog smells like Cheez (tm). qNXAs you reach over to pet the nice doggie it snaps at you, nearly taking your hand off.N>N.You're asking a dog? You must be desperate.R7N'It's not going anywhere until you do.xTTT= hideous decor Yup, it's typically Acme. vy= carpet There is a label on the carpet, sticking up right in the center of the room. The label says, "Acme Shaggee Wawl-Too-Wawl Karpit (tm)". vzt111 Acme Headquarters LobbyN?4NA bright pink light illuminates this tiny waiting room. There is an international orange sofa here with green and salmon polka dots, and a plethora of similarly-decorated flimsy chairs is here as well. There are magazines lying about intended to provide you with reading enjoyment while you wait to see the CEO of Acme in the room to the east. Strangely enough, the floor seems to be covered with sawdust.3N4A hall leads west.NABv{=  pink light [[It's hard to tell where the light is coming from. The entire ceiling seems to glow pink. z|  hideous sofa ooLetters on the arm of the sofa read "Acme So-Kumfterbuhl-Yu-Wownt-Beeleev-It-and-Dam-Sturdee-Too Sofuh (tm)". z}kkk  flimsy chairs They don't look like they'd support the weight of a Cheez Kee (tm). They have "Acme Reelee Sturdee All-Wethur Chayr (tm)" written on them. zNEAs you plop down on one of the chairs, it shatters into hundreds of tiny wood chips, leaving no trace or semblance of its original form.Nm N,You approach one of the chairs and raise your hand over your head, taking a deep breath. Before you can bring your fist down, however, the chair explodes into tiny pieces without leaving a hint of its original shape.Nk~PPP=  sawdust It just looks like sawdust. zt111=. collection of magazines ffMost of them are actually just front and back covers with all the pages ripped out. Amongst the vandalized "Cheezer's Digest Condensed Peeriodikaal," "Field & CheezPig," and "Bon Spam" magazines, however, you come across an "Acme Prahdux Updayt" detailing a new item called the "Acme Kulaiduhscoyp of Waykuul Dystorshun (tm)," billed as "Grayt Famlee Fun".N< zfNMStealing is not the way of Duhdha. Besides, why would you want those rags?N Acme CEO's OfficeN 4N "This room has decor similar to that found in the waiting room, but a bit less conservative. There's not much in this room except the CEO's immense desk (piled high with papers and other junk) and many posters of Acme products on the walls. There is a window in the west wall.3N$"43The only exit is back west into the waiting room.Na"Bz= desk piled with junk On the desk near you, buried beneath a mound of papers, is a can of "Acme Sooper Dragun-B-Gone Sleep-Indoosing Pelluts (tm)". L   = can of Dragon-B-Gone pellets NON:The CEO looks around his pile of papers trying to see what you're doing. "Hei, poot that bak!" he shouts, ripping the can out of your hand and replacing it on his desk. "If yoo want wun, yool hafto bai it."NT-NXYou don't have the pellets! N<<N,Looks like there are at least 50 in there..NIt's full of little pellets.= Acme product posters FFMost are for products you're already familiar with, like the Cheez Kee (tm) and the Doggie Doodle (tm), but one poster extols the virtues of "Acme Kuul Kaps (tm)." "Wear one," it says, "and you'll be kuuler than your Duhdist friends!" The Acme company has gone too far this time. The Great Duhdha must be very displeased. EEE= window Through the window you can see the back of the courtyard. There are several guard dogs pacing around out there. One of them just lifted its leg on the base of a small bird bath. N>NS<Nr%N<=  birdbath It looks very heavy. You might be able to carry it if you could get to it. The base of the bird bath is stained yellow all over. (=  rock face %%Why not climb it for a better look? [N7#rN#FYou traverse the face slowly, being careful not to lose your grip.\nN#>5N#ttt $$Dawg Rock East, High up on a LedgeN(4N~)You are precariously perched on a high precipice on the face of Dawg Rock. (Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.) Below, you can see the tops of trees for miles around. You could try climbing higherN)>5  AN)2, but I wouldn't try it carrying all that stuff.,N* , but it looks somewhat risky.N8*D[C}NY*>5  N+You reach up for a hand-hold, but the weight of your possessions causes you to lose your balance. You struggle desperately to regain control, but it's too late.\nN9+CNU+!Ng+vN,RYou reach up for a hand-hold but don't quite make it. Saying a quick prayer and holding your breath, you jump up and barely get a grip on a niche above. Using all the strength you've got, you pull yourself up with your arms, onto the next higher ledge. From then on, progress is fairly easy. You make it to the top without incident.\bN,N -N-N-Cx777= array of treetops =  rock face 99It looks likes it's going to be tough to go farther up. /NB(Do you want to go up or down?x555 ((On Top of Dawg Rock, East of the RiverN/4N/Wow! From up here, the view's great. You're easily 200 feet off the ground, and you could spend hours here just surveying the landscape. To the west you see a hole in the rock.N/DBjjj= hole in the rock ..You'll need to get closer for a better look. ___= incredible landscape You can see for miles around.  44On Top of Dawg Rock (East), Looking Down a Chimney3N14N2 There is a "chimney" in the rock here, and looking down, you can see that it's at least 20 feet tall (deep). You could probably squeeze down in there, but it might be tough getting back out. Alternatively, you could continue exploring Dawg Rock to the east or west.N2DABt222= rock chimney |||= rocks KKThere is rock all around. I guess you could say this place really rocks.  In a Cubby in Dawg RockNWV4NWAbove you is a thin chimney in the rock, through which sunlight pours into this tiny cubbyhole. You have to curl up into a ball to fit in here, but it looks like you can crawl south into a bigger area.N7W@C`NVW8You wiggle up through the chimney and soon emerge...\bNWNW %%At the East End of a Natural BridgeN54Ns6You are high atop Dawg Rock, standing on the east side of a natural bridge that spans a fierce river hundreds of feet below. The bridge is at least 100 feet long, and leads to a plateau on the west side of Dawg Rock.N6ABD0N6You are completely insane.!ppp= rushing river 77The river is all white and frothy from all the force. ZZZ= rocks ))Why not go over and have a better look? t444= natural bridge  ##In the Middle of a Natural BridgeUNA4NBB.You are standing in the middle of a natural bridge carved out of the rock by millions of years of erosion. Hundreds of feet below you, the rapids continue to abuse the rocks as they plunge into a giant waterfall several miles south of here. You can go to either the east or west ends of the bridge.N[BABDNBqIt would be a fabulous dive, but I don't think you'd live to tell about it, and besides that no one's watching.NC!NCNcC]You're in the middle of a bridge. This is not supposed to be a difficult concept to grasp.NC!NCggg= rushing river ..The river winds through the rock, far below.  %%At the West End of a Natural BridgeNm;4N;zLegend has it that no one's ever been here before, on top of this side of Dawg Rock, but you doubt that rumor since you N;>" # N<can see a hardback book lying on the plateau to the west. (I guess it could have been dropped out of an airplane, though. Oh well.)2N<&found that book over on the plateau.N<3N<4N3=gEast of here is the natural bridge, which leads across the deep gorge to the east side of Dawg Rock.Nf=ADVN=0Yeah, right. Just LOOKING down makes you ill.N=!N=B#= rocks XXThe rocks, you think to yourself, represent fortitude, like the Great Duhdha himself. t444= natural bridge ```=  waterfall ++The waterfall makes a sound like thunder. 4= bookN:>" # =N*:.You'll have to get closer for a better look.dN^:>" 5 (N:You're carrying it now.(N:I don't see any book here.N: UUU= rushing river The river looks very deep. ooo= rocks >>There is rock all around you. It makes you feel more steady. SSS= natural bridge You are standing on it. iii=  waterfall 44You can even hear the falls all the way from here! [[[=  climbers ''Like I said, there aren't any around. #4= rocks You are confronted by a jagged wall all around you, although you can see quite a long way down. This plateau and the nearby bridge are about the only places flat enough to stand on up here. #NNN= natural bridge It's east of here. #OOO=  tiny house I think it's listing... #l***= statue of youNIG#Even from here, it looks like youNqG>5 NG.'NG did when you were human.NG^ There's a white splotch of something on your head, though. (The statue's head, not yours.)NH #VVV=  waterfall !!You can even hear it from here! #=  oak tree rrFrom here it's striking how much bigger that one is than all the rest. It's literally towering over the others. #UUU=  tire swing The tire swing is stationary. #=  boulderNJ>NJ It's black./NK#It's almost as big as your house.N1K/ The ground around it seems to be depressed.NeK #l+++= field #8= rushing river From here, you can see it plunge into the waterfall and emerge at the base of the falls, at least 100 feet lower. It continues down past the giant oak and into thick forest south of there. #^^^= dense forest &&You can't see anything but treetops. #ooo= air It's refreshing. # (NNIt smells like winter.YYY=  chimney &&It leads up into the open air above.    Lost in the RocksN]4<MO actorNS ^>>NSI^)NS]^?FEB@A@@OxNW NWNX You have N"X@  scrambled @NTX scrabbled NnX around NX  "in the rocks  NX the rocks NX &every direction, "N Yin every direction, N-Y   hopelessly N^Y completely NzYlost, NY  ending up NY winding up NYin a little room NY  inside NZin N,ZADawg Rock. Sunlight creeps in through tiny cracks in the wallsNsZ5|NZ.RNZF, but it's still so dark that it's hard to tell where you're going.NZg g g( Acme Glo-Stik (tm),NX4an <yNt5It's a squishy lime green cylindrical object. Written on it in stylized pink and purple text are the words, "Acme Glo-Stik (tm): Famlee Funn". It is currently glowing a creepy kelly color. You can see flecks of mauve in the weird goop inside.N5<|XN5L Perhaps someone accidentally dropped it in here through the hole above.N6  \ND7CThe cold fluid inside sloshes around a bit as you apply pressure.NY7FO actorNP`7)I don't see any obvious way to do that.FO actorN7)I don't see any obvious way to do that. 8O actorN7It smells like chemicals.<O actorN&$8You want to glow in the dark?  sunlight,  sunlight llThere's not very much of it. It's pretty dark in here, which only adds to your navigational difficulties. Lost in the RocksNe4<MO actorNSe>>NS"f)NS6fAB  Lost in the RocksNid4<MO actorNSd>>NSd)NSeAB?@E Lost in the RocksNgc4<MO actorNSc>>NSc)NSd?B  Lost in the RocksNHb4<MO actorNSb>>NSb)NSb?@BF  Lost in the RocksN#a4<MO actorNSma>>NSa)NSa?BA@ Lost in the RocksN`4<MO actorNSZ`>>NS`)NS`B@? Lost in the RocksN_4<MO actorNSK_>>NS_)NS_GA@T tiny cracks in the walls, tiny cracks in the walls There are more cracks than you can count. The walls look like someone's been scribbling on them with bright white where the sunlight comes through.CCC On a Ledge Over the WaterNh4NAj|You're out in the open air, precariously balanced on a ledge jutting out about 10 feet over the incredible landscape. It's easily a 200 foot drop down to the rushing water below. From the looks of it, you must be overlooking the same river you saw before. A tiny passage winds back to the south, into the bowels of Dawg Rock. Head north, and you'll be lost in the rocks again.NWjDMNhj'I know you're frustrated, but really.Nj!Nj?@L6 Flooded Room N{4N}This large cavern in the rock is filled with stagnant brown water. It couldn't have come from the river, since you're sure that's much farther below where you are now. Perhaps it's collected rainwater. It's waist-deep here, but you could probably slog through it with little enough trouble. To the west, on the other side of the room (about 30 feet away), there is an opening into another large flooded area. Behind you, to the south, is a tiny passageway bending into the rocks.N}BN}VN~/You nimbly step over the humongous carcass.\bN<~NS~ONc~-There is a hideous alligator in your way!\nN~!N~N~@TN~.I see no clear way to do that at the moment.N!NAO actorNi5CNiZ)Nim<O actorNCN)N< --Lost in the Rocks, at a Hole in the CeilingNx4N{yThis room looks pretty much like the others, except that it has a much higher ceiling and is very bright. Sunlight floods the room through a hole above. The only exit is back to the east, through a tiny passage.NyACZNy4The hole is much too far above your head to reach.Nz!N#z;N)z'The only way out is back to the east.!|:::= ledge over the water = rushing river ssIt looks less scary from here. Then again, you're 200 feet up, which isn't the most safe situation in the world. t222= tiny passage SSS At a Hole in the FloorNwp4N)qThis room looks a lot like all the other areas inside Dawg Rock, except that there is a hole in the floor. Unfortunately the hole looks a bit too small for you to squeeze throughN@q>5 D>5 D>5 dNqL, even in your current form. It must be all those Acme CheezKayks (tm)...NqNq.NqNq3Nq4.Narrow passages lead east and north of here.N)rA?D/N[r5>pN~r!NrX  = hole in the floorNPk<% Nk%Nk/You see a pool of shimmering water far below.Nk<Nolx It looks like there's something sitting in the pool of water. Some fool must have dropped something down in there!NlNlO actorNVlQ_OactordoNxl NxsmNormally I'd let you screw yourself completely here, but I'm in a particularly charitable mood so I'll spare you your only light source. Consider this a favor.NxmsNxmENxm You drop  Nxmn into the hole. About 6 seconds later you hear a quiet splash, and the object is lost forever. Good job. I can tell you've played these games a lot.Nxn"Nxn!&Nxn]NxnYou try to stuff  Nxo# into the hole, but it won't fit.Nx$oNx)opO actorNoRYou try with all your might to squeeze yourself through the little opening, but No>5 D>5 D>5 ENp6even in your diminutive form, you're still too big.Np in vain.N,pt444  HangoutNLt4N8uIt looks like some degenerate types have been hanging out here recently. There are cigarette butts, beer cans, and other debris scattered all around. You notice in horror that the words "Duhdha Sux" are scrawled on the wall.3NNu4NXu<5}NuhFor the first time, you realize the awful truth: the forces of Unnkul are at work again in the world. NuNu You shiver.NvB;Nv'The only way out is back to the west.!|||= sundry trash DDLike I said, it's just beer cans, cigarettes, and stuff like that. p...=  graffiti = beam of sunlight JJIt's coming in through the hole, which is about 20 feet above your head. = hole in the ceiling FFIt's fairly typical of what you're seeing in these rocks formations. t222= tiny passage >>>= room full of murky water x555= alligator carcass | : : : 9 giant alligatorN The alligator is a hideous freak of nature, easily 15 feet long, with razor sharp fangs, flared nostrils, and beady little eyes.N <FN : It is made somewhat less threating by being a carcass.N . =N 34N <9N *There is a giant alligator carcass here.WN cKThere is a giant alligator blocking your way. It's watching you intently.N O actorN OactordoN ^ N Powerful jaws clamp down on  N {z, nearly removing your arm in the process. The alligator gobbles down the morsel viciously, and, its appetite whetted, heads towards you in hopes of getting a more filling meal. It manages to bite off your shoe before keeling over from the well-documented highly toxic effects of Spamm (tm) products on alligators. You retrieve your shoe and replace it on your foot.N  N !>^&N >&N "N N "The alligator devours  N L, but does not seem to like it much. Obviously, it prefers MEAT, heh-heh.N !&N N HQThe alligator floats motionless in the water, waiting for you to do something.,The giant creatue moves closer toward you./The alligator eyes your possessions hungrily.GThe beast submerges, hiding all but its marble eyes, then resurfaces.FI think the alligator is contemplating having you for its next meal."The great reptile snorts loudly.)The alligator's beady gaze meets yours.5The hideous beast shifts back and forth restlessly.6Look, don't tell me you're not scared of this thing!N < >5 E<N M< =N l34N {<H @N ^N <DN 34N You hear splashing sounds.N  N N  N  N + <sN x dIf you got close enough to take a good whiff it would surely bite your nose off, at the very leastN How disgusting.N N < 1 LThat rub-his-tummy-and-he'll-pass-out stuff ain't gonna work on this Mama.N X Ewww.N e N j uOactorioN+ <'N+ I doesn't even flinch. N+ It's already dead.N+ N  <VN Q GIt's DEAD. You KILLED it. There's no waking it up now, you murderer.N  It's not asleep!N X6 Another Flooded RoomtN]4NMHere it's much like the first flooded area, but the water is now almost up to your neck. You can continue into deeper water to the south, or head back to the east where it's more shallow. You hear a loud rumbling noise, and the ground is vibrating rather noticeably, sending little ripples dancing on the surface of the water.NÃA@TN.I see no clear way to do that at the moment.N1!NB>>>= room full of murky water = ripples in the water qqThey are definitely occurring in a regular pattern, as though created by vibrations from something mechanical. VVV= rumbling noise Don't ask me what it is... 86 Alligator Den2N4N-You have to tread water in here, because the water's almost as deep as you are tall. Although your former master Kuulest never taught you how to swim, the "Doggie Paddle" seems to come naturally to you. Looking around, you see a ledge here with debris on it. It is within arm's reach. To the south, you see what appear to be giant pipes running out of the bare rock and into the dirty water.3NL4NaThe only way out of here is back to the north. The water is too deep to continue further south.N?N_Nope, the water's too deep. You may tread water all right, but you can't swim worth a toot.NH!NY>>>= room full of murky water P ledge with debris on it qqThere's nothing particularly exciting about the ledge. The debris is just sticks, pebbles, and stuff like that. TN[;You sift through the debris, but find nothing of interestNl= pipes iiThey're very big, but other than that they look perfectly normal. Wonder why Dawg Rock has plumbing... p///=  staircase H Laundry RoomN 4NYou are in a large room that's painted drab gray just like the previous one and lined with rows and rows of washers and dryers. Exits lead north and south.N?@x Quiet Cocktail LoungeN% 4NU!$This looks like a nice quiet spot to take a date. Sort of odd that it's underground here, but at least it's got a certain amount of charm. There are tables and chairs here and there, although it doesn't look like the place has gotten much business recently -- there's not a soul around.3Nk!4N!lOver in one corner is a grand piano with a layer of dust covering it. There is a table next to the piano.N!>  dND"X The last patron seems to have left a tip, and it's a probably a bit generous at that.Nq"3Ny"4N"UTo the south is a door. Head back north and you're back at the foot of the stairs.N"?@G G G Leap of Faith N14N3A sign in front of you says, "Welcome to the 'Leap of Faith'," and you can see why -- you're standing on the west side of a huge chasm, and it's at least 100 feet across the yawning gap to the east side. The only easy way out of here is to the west, back to the entrance, although it looks like you might be able to climb down the face of the chasm to a large ledge below. I doubt you'd be able to get back up, even if you made it down there in one piece. Seems awfully risky...N3BANs4wI see absolutely no way across. You'll have to think of something really good to get to the other side of this baby.N4!N4DN4N$5jYou carefully climb down the face of the rock, making your way slowly but surely to the ledge below.\n\bN75NO5N#6You carefully climb down the face of the rock, making your way slowly but surely to the ledge below. As soon as you reach the safe ground, however, the dragon, clearly unaware of your presence, tramples you to death.NQ6CNl6!N~6N64N6CN6)N6/N6CN 7)N7"N#7C\nGGG East-West Metal CorridorNyc4N1dYou are in a corridor with metal walls, floor, and ceiling. The air seems very sterile, and there is an unusual stillness here. To the east, the walls change to stone. The metal corridor continues to the west.N`dAB0= ""vast array of washers and dryers All the machines cost 4 acmids to use except for a sad-looking pair off in one corner of the room which costs just 1 acmid for the washer and 1 for the dryer.    F cheap washerN\This washer has seen better days. No wonder it's so cheap. It has a 1 acmid coin slot. ND<ANY5It's currently running, making a terrible racket. N)N N7QOactordoN,c :N,x"Try putting it in the coin slot.N,=N,Y E  _N,.I don't think a spin cycle is going to help N,  any.N,N,%Y N,A<SN,]Okay,  N,! is now sitting in the washer.N,!N,<}N,  N,- spins round and round in the soapy water.N,"YN,.!YN,IN,Z  N,Z spins round and round in the water. It does not appear to be getting clean, however.N,!YN,N, >Y&N, N,#  N,< <QN,X &Okay, the washer now has soap in it.N, >&N, N, 9Suds form as you dump the soap into the swirling water.N, "N, !>&N,7 >Y|N,V "YN,u N,| N, N N Thud.|:::( acmid,NQan <NdR'It looks really flimsy, which means it's probably not counterfeit. (This is Acme we're talking about here.) Written in bold letters on it, not surprisingly, is the word "ACME". Below that in small letters you can barely read, it says, "One Acmid, payable in Cheez to the bearer on demand."NR<|N Sy It was probably left here as a tip. From what you've seen so far of the service here, it may have been too generous.N)SN/S $( heap of soap flakesNS<|EN T6They must have been left here by a previous patron.7N*T+They just look like ordinary soap flakes.N\T   F  cheap dryerN+ AThe dryer has seen better days. It has a 1 acmid coin slot. N? <<NT 0It's currently running, vibrating violently. N )N  N/ QOactordoN [  :N p "Try putting it in the coin slot.N  N  Y jN  I don't think putting  N  ( in the dryer is a good idea, frankly.N  8N # <N ; The N H >YN d  sopping N v .lab coat spins round and round in the dryer.N  "YN  N  >YN  You stuff the #N You heap the sopping N =lab coat into the dryer.N ^N f>Y&N N NFN<E<N/You boot the stupid machine that ripped you off, and boy, does it make you feel better. Moments later, you hear a metallic "clink," and the acmid rolls out the coin return and onto the floor. As you bend over and pick it up, the dryer starts running, nearly scaring you witless with the loud noise.N'5>&N?"N[ Nn>Y|N"YNN<HN0Don't you think the poor machine's had enough?N+NWhump. #^@*!!N0N5x555: washer coin slot NQOactordoNN YNNoYou put the acmid in the slot and the washer sputters spastically and then starts running, nearly deafening you with its violent rattling.NN!&NN"NN>|-NN"NN!>&NN5NN=>Y|?NN]!YNN~>NN"YNNNNYNNDThe slot seems to be designed to accommodate an acmid, I'm afraid.NNNN= washer coin return ((It looks like an ordinary coin return. 5N%There's nothing in the coin return.VVV: dryer coin slot NQOactordoNM {NM>NM_rYou put the coin in the slot and it rolls right out the coin return and onto the floor. You retrieve the acmid.NMNM#You put the acmid in the slot, but it doesn't start the dryer, and it doesn't roll out the coin return either. Typical of these things to take your money!NMP"NMh!&NMNMYNMDThe slot seems to be designed to accommodate an acmid, I'm afraid.NMNM= dryer coin return ((It looks like an ordinary coin return. 5N%There's nothing in the coin return.h&&&@?6  Junk RoomNM4NThis room is filled with all sorts of random garbage, evidently discarded by whoever lives down here. Exits lead north and south.NTQQQ= discarded junk You find nothing of interest.h&&&@?h&&&@?h&&&@?h&&&@?T Machine RoomN4NHidden back here behind all that junk is more computing equipment than you've ever seen before. Giant rectangular cases apparently house disk drives, CPU's, and the like. The room is very chilly (obviously severely air-conditioned) and the air has a sterile quality.3Nߎ4'There are doors to the east and west.3N46The room is vibrating, and you hear a loud rumbling.NW@A&B'` ` ` ` ` EEE= !!collection of tables and chairs p--- table   grand piano qNGXYou don't know how. Your former master Kuulest frowned upon such trifling frivolities.Nlt333= layer of dust   KitchenN,4N-'There's not much back here. Just a bunch of pots and pans and a few utensils. It's really cramped in this room; it's unbelievable that anyone cooked anything back here. In fact, it looks like none of the cooking supplies have ever been used. There is a sign on the wall, above a small oven. NE->9N`--Behind the oven is an opening in the wall. N-3N-4N-:The only exit is back out into the lounge, to the north.N-?JN-<?DN&.>_Nr.:It's much too steep. You'd kill yourself going down it.N.!N.N.<N.=. signNP#< <<The sign says, "Passed Sanitation Inspection at Grade A". III= %%collection of cookware and utensils |=: stoveN$4N %8You notice that the floor around the stove is scuffed.3N%<zN2%)5NM%4The stove door is closed.Ns%Nx% zBN&2It's a gas stove, but the pilot seems to be out.*N_&It's stone cold already.aN&bPN&(All right, the stove door is now open.N&"zN&cN&dMN'%All right, the stove is now closed.NA'!zNX'N\'<N'!N' @*%&!N'N'<N'8N(<N(As you lean against the oven, it slides noisily across the tiled floor, revealing behind it a steep muddy chute leading down.N( N("N( N)NNB)9You've already scraped up the floor enough, you vandal.NU)N[)=  muddy chute llIt's very steep, and leads down sharply into the darkness. I wouldn't risk sliding down it if I were you. d!!!= unlit pilot light N)"It's hard to see inside the ovenN*5>|2N/*# with that pitiful Glo-Stik (tm).N`*.Ni*3 You can't really tell where the pilot light is.N*N*<^^^=. sign ,,It says, "Welcome to the 'Leap of Faith'". h(((=  huge chasm You MIGHT be able to get across it IF you could fly. Other than that, there doesn't seem to be much hope. Looks like there's something REALLY INTERESTING on the other side, though. Shucks. Where's that Acme Brij Kreator when you need it? ccc= east side of chasm %%Too bad you can't get over there...   9 big goofy dragon\N B&<N 'It's about 20 feet tall, with crossed eyes and a stupid (but content) look on its face. It doesn't seem to be able to see too well, because it keeps running into things.N '{N f'fIt's fast asleep on the ledge below, with its tongue hanging out of its mouth. It's snoring loudly.N 'N ' =!N (34N (<N (~There is a giant goofy-looking dragon pacing back and forth on the ledge below you, its head bobbing and its tongue lolling.N (\N )GThere is a giant goofy-looking dragon fast asleep on the ledge below.N !)N &)LQQgThe dragon bumps his head into a wall, shakes his head quickly, then continues pacing back and forth.7The dragon belches a tiny puff of greasy black smoke.dThere is a terrible crashing sound as the dragon kicks aside what must be a pile of pots and pans.The ground shakes violently as the dragon trips on large object resting on the ledge below and slams full-force into the ground. After looking around suspciously, bushy eyebrows twitching, the dragon shrugs and then resumes its pacing.[You hear someone down below with a gruff voice shout, "Ow!" and then grumble profanities.fN +< >5 E<:N ,34N ,<L@N 6,N <,sN T,<%N j,The dragon's asleep!3N ,'You can't reach the dragon from here.N ,N ,<%N ,The dragon's asleep!gN I-[The dragon is paying about as much attention to you as it is to looking where it's going.N u-RN -<%N -The dragon's asleep!eN -YConsidering its sense of direction and lack of coordination, I'd say that's a bad idea.N *.N >.<BN T.3I don't see any obvious way to do that from here..N ."It's not sleepwalking, you know.N .oN /<RN \/=You've already knocked the poor thing out cold, you maniac!N n/N t/PaOactordoNZ /NZ /  NZ 0h lands on the dragon's head and bounces off. The dragon seems to be unaware of your malicious action.NZ 30NZ 80 NZ V0  NZ 0 bonks the dragon on the head soundly. The dragon shakes his head, seemingly confused, and then looks up at you for a second, squinting.NZ 1NZ 1( NZ *1  NZ +2 reaches its mark on the dragon's head, and with a loud "WHUMP" knocks the dragon down. The dragon does not stir for a few moments, but then gets up wearily, looking around suspiciously and muttering something to itself.NZ 92NZ H2  NZ {2@ hits the dragon squarely on the head, knocking it out cold.\nNZ 2"NZ 2 NZ 2NZ 2&NZ 2$ Ledge Below Leap of FaithN94N:Well here you are with your sleeping dragon friend, resting on a large ledge sticking out of the rock in the chasm. From here you can tell just how deep the chasm is -- it appears to be bottomless.3N:4N ;WThere's a bunch of uninteresting junk here, most of it smashed to bits by the dragon.N1;|_N;S You notice the anchor you dropped on the poor dragon's head is among the dross.N;3N;4N-<Fortunately for you, there's a cave entrance in the wall to the west, which means that you may not actually be trapped here for life.NL<CN<CDidn't I warn you that you wouldn't be able to get back up there?N<>5 YN<M You think that just because you're a gorilla you're all-powerful? Sheesh.N=\nN$=!N7=Bt333= goofy-looking sleeping dragon It's fast asleep. BN82Not a chance. It must weigh at least three tons.9Nf8)Haven't you already done enough damage?JN81I wouldn't do that. Do you want to get stomped?N8```= bunch of junk ''Like I said, it's very uninteresting.  (  boat anchor Yup, it's a boat anchor all right. Beats anything for developing strong muscles, a healthy heart, and a debilitating hernia.( +6 Trolls and Tribulations)N=4Np>There are three narrow passageways leading out of this dusty unfinished room, to the north, south, and west. To the east the room opens up onto a ledge overlooking a chasm.3N>4N>;Each of the three small corridors is labeled with a sign.3N>4N?:The sign over the north tunnel reads, "Saturnine Troll".3N(?4N^?5The sign over the south tunnel reads, "Holy Troll".3Nu?4N?5The sign over the west tunnel reads, "Troll Booth".N??@BAzzz Saturnine TrollNE4NEThe narrow tunnel opens up into a small spartan room with no furnishings except a table and chair. The only exit is back out to the south.NE@JNE<@4NEC NF)N%F/NzVNR>The portcullis is up, so you can travel either east or west.NRsNS^The portcullis is down; hence the only exit at the moment is back east, the way you came in.NHSNPS3NXS4NS[A sign on the portcullis says, "Trolls Only! Other Species Not Welcome. This means YOU!"NS4NSC NS)NT/N%TC NGT)N[TABNT>zNTgYou slip under the open portcullis and continue west. I hope you brought your troll repellent...\n\bNUN,UpNpUNTry as you may, you're not going to get through that gate while it's closed.NU!NUNUt222= wooden chair p--- table  = mirror{NAIt's hanging on the wall.N+A 5NFA) The troll keeps looking into it sadly.NuA NANA> 3NBDistracted from the mirror by her birthday cake, the troll now seems much more cheerful. "Oh, you want the mirror? Well, be my guest you sweetheart," she chimes. As you lift the mirror off the wall you are overwhelmed with a feeling of despair.NB! N C5 &N&CNCAs you reach for the mirror, the troll pushes you away violently. "And now people are trying to take my belongings!" she screams.NCNCNC%NDA wave of depression overcomes you for a moment. Then you seem to see the face of your former master Kuulest, and then that of the Valley King in the mirror. Perhaps it's only your imagination.ND x 5 5 5 9 saturnine trollHN OK<mN KUShe looks like she's never been happier. You sure do know how to cheer someone up.N KN vLShe looks like her pet rhino (*) just died. She's just standing there, looking in the mirror and muttering to herself. (*) Did I mention that trolls keep rhinos as pets?N LN L =NN &M34N 6M<ZN MM.A troll is here with you, joyfully gobbling N M>7,.N MN YNA troll is here with you, looking deeply into a mirror on the wall. She's about 12 feet tall, with long stringy hair, and she looks very sad. She doesn't seem to notice you.N nNN tNPmm)"No one ever remembers," she complains.wShe sniffles. "My special day, and what do I have to look forward to? Nothing!" She looks longingly into the mirror.#"No card, no nothing!" she cries.#"Hmmph, it figures!" she grouses.ZThe troll clasps her hands together. "Maybe it'll be a surprise," she intones hopefully.%"I'm SO depressed," says the troll.N -P< >5 zN SP34N aP<2N wP#The troll gobbles down more cake.N P<P@N PN PO actorN P4OactordoN Q<N QShe doesn't accept your offer. "Oh no, no, no, I don't need that. I'm perfectly content with what I've got," the troll explains.N QkN Q7 sN RThe troll looks over at you with wide eyes, overcome with joy. "Someone remembered! Thank you!" she exclaims, not seeming to mind that she doesn't know you at all. She begins gobbling down N R N RK, evidently not minding the taste, or that it's not even a birthday cake.N S N ,S"N FS!&N \SN aSZ N Su"It's not even cooked," she cries. "Too much trouble, I suppose!" She turns away from you and back to the mirror.N TIN T4"What do I want with that?" she asks rhetorically.N LTN RT N XTN xT<>N TShe smells like N T>7.N TBN T6As you try to smell her, she gives you a dirty look.N U N UN -U<SN {U;She seemed to enjoy it. "Was it good for you?" she asks.N UmN UX"Oh sure, try to warm up to me when you know you forgot my birthday again," she yells.N UN VN VN 2V</N GV You're a sicko, you know that?9N vV-She's already miserable enough, you meanie.N VN VN V<(N V"I dunno!" she giggles.=N W1"Oh who cares?" she cries, "Life's a cesspool!"N LW ( mirror It's a wall mirror, rectangular and about 10 inches by 6 inches, with a decorative bronze back. Small letters on the back read "Valley Kingdom Corporation Mirror of Incredible Depression".  NX4Nh$You polish a corner of the mirror.N%%N(You look into the mirror and see that N>5.N For some reason, gazing into the mirror causes you to be overtaken by extreme depression. You force yourself to look away, and say a prayer to Duhdha to bring yourself out of your maudlin state.NטNۘYN@You clean the mirror vigorously. Nothing interesting happens.NC NGNsYou shatter the mirror into tiny shards, then brush your hands off. You sense that Duhdha is greatly displeased.N!<&N t333= collection of holy artifactsN\HAfter thinking about it some more, you realize that they must be part of the Trollish religion. From the looks of the items, they're generally very peaceful and nature-loving, although one urn (box-shaped) depicts several believers eating what looks to be a person just about your build. Or maybe they're just gnawing on a tree stump. Hmmm, it's sort of hard to tell, since all the art is cubist.NH ;N I+I wouldn't do that. They look important. t444 wooden table l+++= chair H H H= metal portcullisPNM<zNMIt's raised.NM It's down.NMz N*NNIN<z/N]N It's already open, you nitwit.NNYou struggle and strain, nearly killing yourself, but are unable to budge the gate, much to the amusement of the Trollbooth attendant.N"OaN(O<bNJO<cNfOdnNO<z"NOWhat's the point?1NO%It's already closed quite securely.NO=  Trollbooth LLIt's just a small booth with glass sides, just big enough to hold a Troll. = sign \\There's nothing special about the sign, but somehow I don't think you're welcome in there.  g g g 9M trollbooth attendant He's large, even for a troll. He's wearing a vest with spikes on it, and has a nasty-looking tattoo on his arm that says "Ya Muddah!". (Must mean someting in Trollish.) He barely fits in the 15 foot tall booth. I wouldn't argue with him. =N =34N =2A burly troll is currently standing in the boothN >>zN (>.;N 9>/, obviously waiting for payment of some kind.N n>N- -- The troll belches loudly.The troll presses his sausage-thick fingers against the trollbooth glass, his joints producing hideous crunching and crackling noises.{The troll reaches down and lifts a giant submarine sandwich, dripping with grease, and sinks his fangs into it violently.;The troll mumbles something about "your kind" to himself.The troll picks up the latest issue of "Trolls N' Trollups" magazine, folds out the centerfold, and begins foaming at the mouth.LThe troll munches on a handfull of Trollhouse Chocolate Grub Cookies (tm).S"Damn watch stopped again. When's quittin' time?" the troll grumbles to himself.+The troll looks at his new watch proudly. N A< >5 N A34N AON B<O QN +B<MN CB<N@N pB<N@N BN B<N<O@N BN BO actorN BLOactordoN C>zN CvThe troll looks at you suspiciously. "Look punk, I don' like to take advantage uh morons, so get lost," he grumbles.N CN C  N C4N tDThe troll grins broadly. "Uh Rolex! Dat's not bad, runt. Anybody asks you, I nevah saw yez, GOT IT?" he says gruffly, looking over his shoulder at the gate.3N D4N DXHe pulls a lever inside the booth, and the portcullis noisily rises into the ceiling.N D"zN E N 7E!&N ME"MN hEN mE' N E4N FA smile creases the troll's rugged features. "I knew yez would come up wid it, punk. Bet I can get some great stuff wid dis loot. But you squeal on me an' I'll find yez, see? So don't get any ideaz," he growls, looking around nervously as he pokes his giant finger in your face.3N F4N GXHe pulls a lever inside the booth, and the portcullis noisily rises into the ceiling.N ;G"zN dG! N |GN kHThe troll scowls. "You 'spect me ta take dat crap bribe, punk?" he bellows. "I ain't lettin' none uh yer kind in here for dat. Y'better come up wid sometin better dan dat, Tiny. Now scram!" the troll shouts, breathing garlic and onions into your face.N HN H N HUN H<He smells like a locker room -- a TROLL locker room. Augh!N I N IN IThe troll does not appreciate your affection. "What kinda creep are yez? Touch me again and I bust yer jaw, ya prevoit," he growls.N IN IN cJyThe troll is safely shielded behind the glass. As you lunge forward, he laughs and makes comments about your ancestry.N wJ~N JeThe troll does not seem very interested in that topic. "Get a life, ya stinkin' runt," he grumbles.N JAB?@FC  ;;Tunnels lead north, south, east, west, northwest, and up.0...6 In the Troll TunnelsfNV4NAW'You are walking around in the shadows in the troll tunnels. Passages snake through the bare rock in all directions, giving this place the appearance of a rabbit warren. You hear footsteps now and then, and see dark figures creeping about in the corner of your eye. Do try to be careful here.3N]W4< NtWNW D  NNW#Being far too small to be a trollNW>5 6NW' (and YES, I know you're a gorilla), N*X, NjX;you attract the attention of one of the local residents. N~X>5tNXNUnfortunately, the troll is hungry and decides to make a nice brunch of you.NXN YNYFortunately, your breath is so bad from the edible syntheplast you drank earlier that the troll turns on his heel and runs in the opposite direction with his hand over his mouth and his checks puffed out.\bN Z)N!ZN(ZN-Z)NEZnnnGCEB  22Tunnels lead northeast, southeast, up, and west.mmm?EA@  11Tunnels lead north, south, east, and northeast.lll@DBH  00Tunnels lead south, west, southwest, and down.YYY?BD  %%Tunnels lead north, west, and down.pppAG@H  44Tunnels lead south, east, southeast and southwest.wwwAC?FD  33Tunnels lead north, east, northwest, up and down.VVV   Muddy ChutetN_4N_@You're standing at the base of a steep muddy chute leading up N_>Nt`to an opening in the wall far above. It looks like you could climb up there, but I doubt you'd be able to get back down safely. N`into the darkness.N`3N`41Head east and you're back in the troll tunnels.NaCNa>NkaHYou scramble up the slimy slope and emerge through a hole in the wall.Na< -Na" Na  NaNa\bNaN bNbYou climb up the slimy slope, but once you get to the top there's no place to go -- the chute just ends at a wall. Dejected, you slide back down the greasy incline.Nb!NbNbA=  muddy chute 99It leads up into the darkness. It looks very slippery. N_N'_>C>5\      Metal RoomN!i4NjThis room is all metal, like the corridor leading into it from the east. All around the room there are tiny holes in the walls, obviously machine-made. In the western wall you see a giant metal door with the words, "Authorized Personnel ONLY. Violators will be vaporized!" on it. On the east wall, opposite the metal door, is a thin slot, about the width and height of a credit card.3Nj4(The only exit is back out to the east.Nk< Nk3N&k4Nk~The room is filled with a thick haze of chalk dust. You can see red beams of light crisscrossing the room in all directions.NkNkAINk<BBANl>!z8NmThe door isn't open.N3m!NEmNLm>5 RNcm0You walk into the lab. No one even looks up. Nm>5 WNmKYou beat your chest violently, unable to control a sudden urge to do so. NsnAbsolutely no one is concerned in the least. For the first time in your life, you are totally ignored. Sort of depressing, really.\bNn"NnNn< ?Nn4NpKYou carefully step into the room. All around, you see people dressed in lab coats, busily going about some highly technical work. Moments after you enter, however, a klaxon sounds, and a sexy female voice announces over the loudspeaker, "Intruder Alert. Security teams A3, L2, and K9 report to main lab entrance immediately."3NRp4NpWithin mintues, the security team is upon you. You struggle with them fiercely, but only succeed in getting yourself lasered into oblivion.NpCNq!N$qN3q4NqYou carefully inch across the room, being sure not to break any of the red beams that cut through the dense cloud of chalk dust that fills the air.NqNq# tNr3Nr4NjsVYou enter the room beyond the door, still coughing from the chalk dust. All the lab workers look up upon hearing your loud hacking, and soon a sexy female voice declares over the loudspeaker, "Entry to main lab facility gained without a valid security card. Security team J5 report to main lab entrance to apprehend possible intruder."3Ns4NXuAn instant later, a poorly dressed security type asks for you card, which you cleverly claim to have lost. Unfortunately, none of the lab workers identify you, and when asked the 23rd digit of e, you blurt out, "4?", which from their smirks and giggles you gather is incorrect. In any case, this convinces them that you are not actually an employee, and the security team reduces you to atoms with their laser rifles.NtuCNu!NuNu>Nu3Nu4NwYou tiptoe into the room, trying not to alert any of the eggheads to your presence. Just as you enter, however, you feel a big sneeze coming on, and are unable to stifle it. "Gesundheit," mumble the workers, nearly in unison. Soon thereafter, a sexy female voice proclaims over the loudspeaker, "Entry to main lab facility gained without a valid security card. Security team X32 report to main lab entrance to apprehend possible intruder."3Nw4Nx An instant later, a poorly dressed security type asks for you card, which you slowly and carefully explain was eaten by a giant alligator whose egg you stole and cooked in a metal bucket, then gave to a kindly but annoying old monk you met at a hidden religious retreat in the woods.3N y4N{y"You expect me to believe that?" he growls. You realize this to be a rhetorical question when he raises his mammoth laser rifle and atomizes you.NyCNy!NyNz The chalk dust has no effect on you, however, since you've cleverly planned ahead. You grin toothily as you enter the room behind the metal door, removing the clothespin so as not to look like a complete dork.3Nz!Nz$N{4N|Upon entering, however, one particularly annoying-looking employee shouts, "Hey, you better put on your safety goggles, buddy; you wanna get blinded?" This clearly alerts the local authorities to your blunder, as a sexy female voice purrs over the loudspeaker, "Safety violation reported. Inspection team T139 report to lab entrance to initiate proper correctional procedures."3N|4N,The inspection team arrives soon after, and the head inspector stiffly demands to see your security card. Before you can come up with a good excuse, he notices your clothespin and comments, "Well, well. Using non-regulation fastening equipment too, I see. I'm sure the Inspector General will find this quite interesting. You're in a lot of trouble, mister." They cart you off, question you for several hours, and then, tipped off that you're an intruder by the fact that you don't know the weight, in grams, of an Acme Cheez Kee (tm), vaporize you.N+CNF!NXN_>YYN|4NhAs soon as you walk into the lab, however, a lab worker with a whiney voice reminds you to don your lab coat. You politely explain that yours is at the cleaners. Your discussion seems to interest the other workers, who all gather round gawking at you and mumbling to each other. A sexy female voice soon gleefully pronounces over the loudspeaker, "Worker inefficiency reported. Supervisory team SC139-J report to lab entrance to increase productivity."3N4N(Several gaudily dressed manager types barrel into the room. "Just what's going on here?" one bellows. All the scientists point at you. Realizing the hopelessness of the situation, you try to fight your way back out of the room, but just when you start making some progress, you get phasered.NЂCN!NN>YdN#4NYYou stride into the lab wearing your lab coat, confident you won't stand out from the other workers. As you enter the room, an annoying-looking fellow rushes up to you carrying a flask of soupy yellowish liquid, urgently whining, "Fenwick, you gotta help me out here. What's the CF value for liquified conundurum Q-36 edible syntheplast?"3N4N…Before you can reply, however, the flask slips out of his hand and dumps out onto your lab coat, spilling all over the stain. Within seconds, the two chemicals react, producing a tremendous fireball that vaporizes the lab coat and your new friend's hair.3NՅ4N"Must be pretty high," he says, rubbing his now-bald head. A sexy female voice soon reports over the loudspeaker, "Fire hazard reported. Hazardous materials team HD-901-KQ-Beta report to lab entrance to initiate cleanup procedures."3N4NNNThe cleanup team soon arrives, and begins busily wiping the floors and removing the remaining scraps of fabric that once were your lab coat. The careless individual who dumped the stuff on you takes a close look at you and realizes, "Hey, you're not Fenwick," thereby alerting the already jumpy security monitors to your presence.3Ne4NlYou are quickly apprehended, questioned as to the whereabouts of your security card, and then asked to name the melting temperature of mercury. The fact that you are unable to instantly come up with the answer clearly reveals you to be an intruder, so they obliterate you.NCN!NƉN4NhYou stride into the lab wearing your the lab coat, confident you won't stand out from the other workers. Amazingly enough, no one notices you.N>"5N N\bN̊"N݊N>5  |Nlg\nThe chalky cloud you recently made has now dissipated. You can no longer see where the beams are.\nNN! N"NC\n= holes in the walls The holes seem to come in pairs, where one hole will be at exactly the same height and position as its companion hole on the opposite side of the room. NNN= sign It seems pretty clear to me.  F  card slot ZZI would guess you need some kind of ID card to get into the room beyond the metal door. ?Ng/Nope, won't fit. You need something thinner.! giant metal doorNg@It's very big and, from the looks of it, made of solid metal. Ng<zMNh>Yep, cold hard steel. Good luck getting through this baby...(N6hThe door is slightly ajar.NXh aNrhbbNh:Well what do you know? That wasn't so hard after all...Nh"zNh"d! ! ! Acme Research LaboratoryCN4N;Hundreds of workers are scurrying about inside the lab, all wearing their lab coats and safety glasses. Everyone looks busy, and no one seems to notice your presence.3N4NpThe room is very big, with rows and rows of marble tables covered with vials, flasks, petri dishes, scraps of paper, periodic charts, and thick tomes of tables and data. All in all, it's hard to walk around in here without bumping in to something or someone.3N4NTo the east you see a giant metal door, the entrance to the lab. There is a sliding glass door in the west wall with a security card slot next to it. The door is closed.Nc>5 rNz3N4N6No one is paying much attention to you, even though >5.NN4NCLN$)N7/NNCLNy)NJN<AAIN<BBN>IzNGCSeizing your window of opportunity, you slip through the door.\bN[CLNMNMN+You'll need to get the door open first.\nN!NN#  ( bottle of purple liquid It's hard to tell what the stuff is. The bottle is made of thick brownish glass, and the label has faded so you can't read it. N|F ;NF+It smells like artifical grape flavoring.NG< NrGrDon't you think you've already slugged back enough of the stuff? No substance abuse allowed in this simulation!NGNGNHGACK! The stuff tastes horrible! It's sickeningly sweet, and you fear the artificial grape flavor is there to cover up something toxic.NHH CNfH(CNH" NHbNH34NH6You feel somewhat woozy and euphoric all the sudden.NHcNI3NI4(You no longer feel woozy and euphoric.NPI! NjI$H? pair of X-ray specs ttThe glasses are pretty cheesy, with one blue and one red lens and cardboard rims. You picked them up on your famous adventure into the Unnkulian Underworld. They have such nostalgia value, you just can't give 'em up. They are of course made by the Acme Company, creators of all that is cheesy. (You should see the Acme CheezSpecs (tm) if you think these are bad.) 5N{Wow! Sorta 3D, though you can't really see through things as you had hoped. Actually, they just give you a headache.\nNN#S^NrOYou're already wearing a pair of specs. Do you want to look like a goofball?N)N% = computing equipment It's just a bunch of huge metal boxes, with an occasional blinking red or green light here and there. There is no obvious way to interact with the machines. & Terminal RoomONݭ4NAmongst an avalanche of junk food containers is a computer terminal with a keyboard, sitting on a large desk in this dimly lit room. Slumped over in his chair is (you assume) a programmer, sleeping soundly.3Nʮ4N;The only exit is back to the west, into the machine room.NBJN-<B' Monolith Room6N4NThis room seems to contain just one piece of equipment, but boy is it a monster. It completely fills the room -- it must be at least 20 feet wide, 30 feet deep, and 15 feet tall. It's a completely black monolith, except for a small irregularly shaped opening in the front N>6zWN7Hand an open compartment at the base of the machine, on the right side.WNKand a barely visible panel at the base of the machine, on the right side.N3NŽ4N=Perhaps a closer look will reveal more, but at the moment you can see no knobs, buttons, dials, or displays of any kind on the surface of the machine.3Nv4NbThe vibrations and rumbling are much louder here; they're almost deafening. Your teeth chatter from the disturbance, and the ground is shaking so violently that you have to really fight to keep yourself from flailing around like a marionette.3N4NǿQThere's no obvious way out of the room except the way you came in, to the east.NJN<AA@CN+>5ND:Ne<N}(L   = sleeping programmer ))He's a terribly unkempt individual with a long dirty beard, a tacky plaid shirt, and polyester trousers. His socks don't match and his hair is a rat's nest of tangled curls. He's wearing a digital watch, and snoring loudly, which I suppose is normal for nocturnal creatures at this time of day. &NiYou got a death wish or something? Waking a sleeping programmer is like taking a dog's food bowl away.N0N5<)lll= programmer's hair //I'm surprised nothing's crawling out of it... &*zzz= tacky plaid shirt ==It has a pocket with an Acme Safe-T Pokket Protectur in it. &,???= ##Acme Safe-T Pokket Protectur (tm) Stuffed in the programmer's pocket is a slip of paper with a word scribbled on it. You can't quite make out what it says because the handwriting is terrible. It looks like it starts with a T and ends with an E, but that's all you can tell. &-]]]= polyester pants ""I wonder why he's so dressed up? &.ZZZ= socks ))One is mauve and the other is lavender. &/X= digital watch ooIt's got a calculator, an appointment minder, a video game, and who knows what else. It's almost a foot wide. &hNOI wouldn't do that if I were you. That's proably his most prized possession.N 0= swivel chair ooIt's your standard run-of-the-mill office chair. Looks like it's gotten about 20 years worth of use, though. &.NIt's occupied at the moment.1P   = functional desk Its only purpose appears to be to support the terminal and junk food containers -- it doesn't seem to have gotten any other use recently. &@Nw0It's occupied at the moment (by the terminal).2= junk food containers Every kind of junk food known to man has been consumed in here, probably in the last 24 hours. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) there's none left. &/NThe containers are all empty./N0All the containers are empty. NbBleah.(NI count 56 containers.3   =. computer terminalN%4NIt's a Bucket o' Bits TV200, just a terminal with no computing power of its own. It's obviously connected to the big number crunchers in the other room via a network of some kind.3N4<N N <WNtBThe terminal reads:\b ACME BogOs 1.0 (cheezee)\b cheezee login: NN<^N< NŸ<NacmeN\n password:N N<NK\b Welcome to BogOs, user "acme"!\b The system will be down on and off today, as usual.\n A new version of "prototypes" has been installed.\n Please report any new bugs and maybe we'll fix them.\n \b \t\t\t - Your Friendly System Administrator \b cheezee% N[N` &^N$EI suspect that would disturb the programmer -- probably a bad idea.N3WNG>Oh boy, how yummy. Must you always waste my time like this?N #NSmells like bits.?N/19 inch monitor -- almost an acceptable size.NOactordoN+< ND> ACME /NlN<NENN> N<NN%N < XN)It says, 'login incorrect'.\nNONd<NwN|< N>  TRUSTME kNŤNۤ<N<-N "N* N>NEUNWIt says, 'login incorrect'.\nN~N<NNN< Nҥ> HELP CN+It says, "Try typing 'ls', user 'acme'!".N.<N4> DIR D> LS ON7It says, "files found: prototypes, unnkul, newinfo".NΦNԦ> UNNKUL N2MNothing happens for a few seconds. Then the following text is displayed:\bN^4Nv)i/o error: silo overflow -- core dumpedNN>  NEWINFO Nܧ.It's a text file containing the following:\bN~ACME Research -- Industrial Espionage Division\n Recent Finds:\b We have recently come across a cryptic document with the following message written on it:\b To build Duhdha's Kaleidoscope of True Seeing you will need the following:\n 1. a dark lens\n 2. a metal cylinder\n 3. an image of a follower of Duhdha\n 4. many stones of equal size and shape\n 5. a thin piece of wire\n 6. a piece of silver\n 7. a bar of solid gold\n\b To construct Duhdha's artifact, recite a word of great magical power.\n\b Our researchers have no idea what this item is for, but as usual we are attempting to acquire one and analyze it.\n\b [end of text]\nN N >  PROTOTYPES FN>5E 6zNīMIt says, "/dev/sq mounted... reading data... generating prototype... done."N֫"6zN67&NN$>5E>6zGN}/It says, "segmentation fault (core dumped) ".N4NIt says, "/dev/sq: no media".NԬN۬N> LOGOUT ON$It says, "Goodbye user "acme"!".\nN@NV6Ng!It says, "command not found".\nNNN4JJJ0N B4\b'Come closer my child,' your aging master Kuulest whispers. 'Soon my life will end. But yours is just beginning! The Unnkulian menace threatens to rise again, destroying all that stand in its way...and I am dying before my time. It is true you are but an untrained, untutored, useless, incompetent...'3N 4 'Uh, master...' you interrupt.3N 4N K'Oh, sorry. Where was I? Oh yes. An untrained slave. Certainly not fit to carry on in the tradition of me, the ancient wise man Kuulest.' Your master coughs, spitting green phlegm on your shirt. 'Oops. But as I was saying, you are the only hope for this world - and perhaps worlds beyond! You must find the Orb of - ' With a final choke, your master expires, leaving, as he so often did in life, a task uncompleted for you to finish.3N 4)If only you knew what the task was...\bN \bUnnkulian Underworld : The Unknown Unventure\nVersion 1.0 by D. A. Leary \n Developed with TADS, the Text Adventure Development System.\bN Y5  = giant piece of equipmentNׯ4NǰThere's really not much to it. It's just Beegas'hell. Since it's not made by Acme, it may actually even perform its task correctly. Looking more carefully, you notice that the machine casts an eerie shadow upon the wall several feet behind it.3N4NlHmmm. There seem to be puddles of water around the base. Little ripples move through the water from the back of the machine towards you. How odd.N 'qNJYeah, right.N]>5 4Nq( Who do you think you are, King Kong?NN NWhump, Nٲ#O actorNMhWell what do you know! There's a hole in the south wall, and it looks like you could squeeze through.N"N68  =JN<zN compartmentN6panelNCNU<zNi<%zN4N!You can only tell it's there if you look very closely -- you can just barely make out the indentation where the panel is set back in the machine a few millimeters.3NI4NThere's no clear way to get it open, and it's impossible to tell what's behind it, because the panel is the same color as the machine -- jet black.NN 'za?N/A fine idea, but how do you propose to do it?c8Nι(Have you lost your mind? Just asking.N %N/<zpNXThere may be something behind the panel, but at this rate you'll never know for sure.NN>7|GNܺThe compartment contains N>7,.N1N*%There's nothing in the compartment.NVN\#N`<%7,   Acme CheezKayk (tm) It's a horrid bright orange color, and it smells terrible. Icing on the cake reads, "Acme D-Lishus CheezKayk (tm) (Prototype)".,Nyan < 'rNI5The CheezKayk wasn't half bad, surprisingly enough.N(N!<&N N5N͓%The cake smells thoroughly retchid.8= irregularly shaped slot ''It's just an irregularly shaped slot. 'NvQ3OactordoN9 NThe disquette flops into the slot with a sickening . Several seconds later, horrid gurgling noises emanate from the bowels of the machine, presumably a sign that the disk is spinning up.N!&N"5NɵNص  N| disappears into the slot. A few seconds later you hear a , followed by 10 seconds of horrible grinding noises. Eventually the machine spits out  N* leaving it seemingly no worse for wear.NնN۶9l***(. squooshy disquette LLIt's a disk-shaped blob of gelatinous material with a circular metal plate in the center. It wiggles back and forth in your hand like Acme Djelleau (tm), and the edges of the disk droop as you hold the disk by the metal part. Tiny letters in the center of the metal hub read, "squooshy disquette [Acme Prototype Design Data]".>Nw.I expect you'll need a squooshy disc reader. QN6x5NLx%Everything's jiggling around madly.:WWW6 Hydro-Electric Generator RoomN@4N: The tiny ledge you are standing upon affords you a spectacular view of this vast cavern and a violent whirlpool of water just below you. Every now and then you are splashed as the water reaches up to the ledge, seemingly trying to grab you from your tenuous perch.3Nh4N(The giant room has clearly been carved out of bare rock by the tons and tons of rushing water, and the walls are at least 100 feet apart. The ceiling is high above you, barely visible through the thick mist. You guess that the water is coming in through the roof, but it's impossible to tell.3N4N$As if you weren't already terrified enough, you are shocked to see a massive hydro-electric generator right next to you, embedded in the north wall. Pipes lead everywhere along the north and east walls. The generator presumably supplies power to the underground complex you've discovered.3N4NThe only easy way out is through the hole in the north wall, back to the machine room. It looks like you might be able to reach up to a ledge higher above you if you're careful, though.N?'C[N>(5,N  N\bN"N*(NAJNE<?;p000=  tiny ledge :<=  whirlpool SSIt's truly frightening. If you were to fall in there, you'd be a goner for sure. :== hydro-electric generator kkIt's making a horrible racket, and is surely the source of the vibrations and rumbling you heard earlier. :>= pipes __It's unclear what purpose they serve, but they run into an out of the generator and the walls :?nnn= mist >>Looking more carefully, you see a rainbow spanning the mist. :@=  rainbow MMIt's just a normal rainbow. You were expecting something more, I suppose? :AUUU= hole in the wall It's in the north wall. :B= majestic waterfall It's hard to tell how big it is, because it fully spans the opening in front of you. All in all, though, it's breathtaking. (Ch&&&DB(AED6 Craggy East-West CrawlwN4NYou are in a seemingly endless east/west corridor tracing through bare rock. The passage is steeply inclined, and there's hardly enough room for you to squeeze through -- you are extremely uncomfortable in here. It's very dark, and quite cool and damp. Pretty grim, if you ask me.3N4 You can continue east or west.NCN<BDN<AEh&&&DBCAFFh&&&DBEAGGh&&&DBFAHHh&&&DBGA^IHxNsliding glass doorN<z$N, open just a crackN, sealed shutNN<z(NIt's open just a crack.|NpFrom the looks of it, you'll need a security card to get the door open. It seems to be electronically sealed.N "aNYzYou saunter over to the door, trying not to attract any attention. You try to force it open, but it just won't budge.NeJF  card slot ..I would guess you need some kind of ID card. "?N/Nope, won't fit. You need something thinner.K= tons of lab paraphernalia FFI wouldn't mess with it. Do you want to call attention to yourself? "Lt 1  1 1 9  bunch of busy Acme researchers They're all frantically running around mixing chemicals, fumbling through books, and asking each other highly technical questions. "=N JKpA cloud of billowing green smoke forms in one corner of the room. You hear shouts of, "Biohazard! Biohazard!"One of the researchers approaches you. "Hey Fenwick," he says, "Have you seen my lab notes around here anywhere?" He pauses for a moment, waiting for you to reply, but notices something across the room. "Fenwick, you kidder you. You replaced my edible syntheplast solution with toxic waste again, didn't you? Ha ha!" He slaps you on the back. "Last time they couldn't tell the difference!" He gives a final snort of laughter then hurries back to his work.You catch a glimpse of a snickering lab worker secretly pouring some red liquid out of a flask and into a co-worker's can of soda.fAn obvously harried researcher darts into the prototype room carrying a cage containing a white rat.ZYou notice a small wingless bird running underfoot. It escapes the lab through the exit.The researcher who ran in the protoype lab in such a hurry a while ago has emerged, carrying an empty cage and looking quite worried.You hear cursing, followed by a loud crash and the tinkling of breaking glass, then what sounds like a hubcap spinning on the floor.~A fellow with an annoying voice shouts from across the room, "Hey Fenwick, did you see the gorilla that escaped yesterday?"bYou see a flash of light accompanied by a "PAFF" sound, followed by loud cheering and clapping.N "< >5 N "34N "<K<J@N ,#<J -N E#"IzN i#"ON #N #<J N #!IzN #<JJN #<J N $JN $N "$N 6$34N $The worker who just entered carrying the caged rat nearly collides with you on his way out, chasing a small wingless bird and holding an empty cage in his hand.\nN $!IzN %JN -%CN J%QN b%8You can't seem to get anyone's attention. How ironic.N %N %<RN %VN %>"I>5M Acme Prototypes RoomN4NAHere you see a vast array of substances and devices which you gather to be experimental Acme products. Along the west wall you see a giant capsule-shaped machine labeled "TRANSMOGRIFIER". Below that appears a stern warning, written in bright mauve block letters: "Use extreme caution. Non-intelligent subjects only!"3N4The exit is to the east.NJN<AAdNs<As you approach the door it slides open with a "SWISH".\bN"NIN<BB,N>OqN!NN= big red plastic button MN[N B'Wherp.NON!ON"ON5Ov v vF transmogrifier yyIt looks like something you might find in a B-grade science fiction movie. It has a big red plastic button on the side. MpNqN<N">5  D<  Nr\bAs you step inside the transmogrifier, a sign lights up inside the machine. It says, "EXCEED MAX WEIGHT".\nN9O tmpN\bN%4NAs you enter the transmogrifier pads on the floor light up. An eerie purple light floods the chamber, then subsides. You exit the chamber, feeling somehow changed.N#<5N?<Nb< N{NN|NgYou enter the chamber and stand around for a while, but nothing seems to happen. You walk back out.\nNN#O actorNr?'Whenever you try to put something in < Nr it makes a horrible screeching noise until you remove the thing. This doesn't seem like a wise course of action for someone who's trying to avoid attention.Nr*Pjjj= collection of Acme prototypes !!Why not take a first-hand look? MQp--- table MST T T? Acme CheezSpecs (tm) Who knows what prompted the Acme people to create such a product. The scary thing is, they sell like hotcakes. This must be a prototype of a new and somehow "improved" version.\n The frames are made of gooey yellow synthetic cheese, and I imagine they'll stick to your face if you put them on. The lenses, miraculously enough, appear to be made of real glass, or at least a close approximation thereof. It's obvious that this particular specimen is a goof-up because only one of the lenses is tinted.,!N ^ a pair of < Q`N]^<7Nq^(You might want to take them off first.N^)N^':O actorN_The CheezSpecs (tm) taste pretty gross, like most Acme Cheez Brand (tm) products. They taste similar to a Cheez Kee (tm) -- like unpasteurized plastic. You wisely spit out the glass lenses.N_(N_!<&N_>5 e&N_>5 f&N ` <O actorN$`They smell like swiss cheese.jN`QThe Cheez has dripped down over the lenses. You can't see through them at all.N`N`>$^N+aOYou're already wearing a pair of specs. Do you want to look like a goofball?NWa)NlaT( blob of shiny yellow plastic [[It looks like something that's melted. You make out distorted letters that read, "Acm". UO blastN!NYou produce a tiny sparkN>5  N>E >zN, which ignites the kerosene and quickly vaporizes the outhouse. Miraculously, you are unhurt by the blast, which sends bits of waste matter hundreds of feet into the air.\nN>rN6 JIn the remains of the outhouse you see a blob of shiny yellow plastic.\nN_ >T&N} N "N > &N "N N N >5  ZN >E >2N , lighting the pile of logs in the process. After a short time, nothing but ashes remains, and you now realize the logs were deliberately placed there to cover up a stone staircase leading down into the darkness.\nN& >&NG "N` "Nu  N N #N >5  5N >E > N  that leaps onto the face of the boulder and lights the kerosene. After about 10 seconds, the pyrotechnics are over. You wipe the soot from you face, brush yourself off, and really just wish you hadn't done that.N "N "N N N >5 @ N8 >SE >SN X that starts a little fire in the log, killing the poor grubs who made it their home.N @>T&N "SN"N%N+N3ND.\nNNVl+++( piece of flint !OactorioN?O actorNfOactordoNGW N_U[Nl 9N*You make the sound of one hand clapping.NThud.NWL( stainless steel kitchen knifeNIt's one from your kitchen.N><|qN\ Now what were you doing with it out here in the yard? Nevermind, I don't want to know.NN !OactorioN .O actorN3lOactordoNUV NUU[NU 8NU)You make the sound of no eggs breaking.NU8Clink.NUFX( magnetic went boardN3The board has a 19x19 grid on it. It is used for the game of went, played by the ancient Duhdists and still enjoyed today by intellectuals.\nN^Y  .N"The board has went stones on it.N xN_Though I'm sure you could, I wouldn't suggest it. It's not an Acme CheezBoard (tm), you know.NAY( set of magnetic went stones}NHalf the stones are black, and half are white. They're magnetized so they'll stick to the board. Not the finest quality set you've ever seen, but at least it's not an Acme product.\nN< X VN >The stones cling to the went board with great determination.N EN/0The stones are clumped together in a big ball.NeNk XyN`Though I'm sure you could, I wouldn't suggest it. They aren't Acme CheezStones (tm), you know.N .N There are 360 stones in all.Zsss  candy bar 66The label says "Acme Dam Yummee Sniggers Baar (tm)". 'N#Amazingly enough, it's actually quite a taste treat. Your stomach is now content, although you're a bit wired from all the sugar.N4#(NQ#!<&Nh# 2Nl#"Smells like peanuts and caramel.[(.  "No Trespassing" signN)< 44The sign says, "No Trespassing! This means YOU!". 4\  (.: Trollish bookNaJIt has a red cover, is titled, "Book of Lost Trolls," and is a hardback.Ny>s|(N It has a bookmark in it.N ))Unfortunately, you can't read Trollish. ]N^:Np*By your estimation, there are 324 pages.N$<N,It's about the same size as a recipe book.OactorioN  E  >"|NgYou cleverly swap the holy book with the recipe book while the troll is distracted with the puzzle.Nʌ5>"&N >\&N N)N%N8]<|lNTThe troll doesn't look interested in parting with his precious tome at the moment.NzN <|CAs you reach for the holy volume, the troll swats your hand away.N)N.)NCNZ]<|lNTThe troll doesn't look interested in parting with his precious tome at the moment.NڎkN <|XN;CAs you reach for the holy volume, the troll swats your hand away.NQNV]jjj9  pious troll ffHis gown and medallion, both covered with cubist art, clearly reveal him to be a troll of the cloth. =N 334N 3>\|rN M4cThere is a troll here, intently studying a book. It would seem to be some kind of religious work.sN 4>d|`N 4T There is a troll here, feverishly working on a multi-colored cube-shaped puzzle.N 5O actorN 5OactordoN ;5d aN Q5+The troll's eyes light up. He stares at N 5  intently.N 58N 5#The troll doesn't seem impressed.N 5N 5O actorN 5.OactordoN 6d lN ,6As you raise  N 6m to his eye level, the troll looks up from his reading and stares at you cautiously. In a flash, he grabs N 6 N 6T from your hand and begins fiddling with it, dropping the holy book onto the tableN 07 >"|iN 7> and knocking the recipe book onto the floor in the process.N 7>"&N 7N 7.N 7>d N J8y Soon enough, however, he realizes that the puzzle is already solved, and loses interest. He goes back to his reading.N y8/N 8>d&N 8 >\&N 8N 8N 8X D [ D " D a lN `9]The pious troll looks up from his tome with some interest, but then returns to his reading.N 9k QN 9B"What sort of twisted shape is that?" the troll howls in horror.N 9Y CN :4The troll scowls. "Round? Heathen!" he exclaims.AN _:5The troll is completely uninterested in your offer.N : N :4N :$Phew! Pious, maybe, but not clean! N :EN :5The troll swats your hand away and resumes reading.N =;cN ;JThe troll kicks you from under the table, landing you flat on your rear.N ;7N ;'The troll doesn't speak much English.^J Acme Spamm Kee (tm),N.an < \\It's sort of cold and clammy. Tiny letters read "Acme Gud-Fore-Ya Helthee Spamm Kee (tm)". 'O actorN/NYou can barely keep it down. How vile. I hope you're glad to be rid of it.N0(N40!<&NK0 /O actorNfO0It smells salty._x888 wad of chewing gumN0< 5 3N0$Yuck, what'd you pick this up for?^N51RIt seems to be a well-chewed piece of once-flavored chewing gum. How revolting.Nf1 '}O actorN3HIt doesn't taste like anything at all, having lost its flavor through days of sitting out. Didn't your mother ever tell you not to swallow your gum, much less someone else's? Who knows what sort of diseases you could get! Oh well, it's down the hatch now, and from what I hear, it'll be with you for the next seven years...N*3!<&NA3 ^O actorN|]38It smells vaguely of artificial watermellon flavoring.N|3SN3:Completely tasteless. I mean that in more ways than one.N3`NJ<.You produce a smothering cloud of chalk dustN<># E >HN<9, sending yourself into a fit of coughing and sneezing.N<># ;N"=,, sending yourself into a fit of coughing.[NS=>;Nu=,, sending yourself into a fit of sneezing.N=.N=>5  N>, The cloud of dust reveals the holes in the walls to be "electric eyes," with red beams of light connecting the matched pairs in a complex pattern. Fortunately there are enough gaps in the web for you to sneak through, now that you can see the beams. You snicker to yourself for your craftiness.N?> N1?CNS?" No?CN?N?aaaa( ruler f&NEIt's 12 inches long.b=. &&label on the bottle of purple liquid, label  the label ""It's faded -- you can't read it.NJ< NqJ># c = stain on the labcoat ''It seems to be some kind of chemical. DN1P>YNMP>Y NrP!NPNP>Ydo o o( Acme PuzzelKyoob (tm),NnXan <!NXoIt's a 2x2x2 cube with colored squares on it. You can rotate the various rows of blocks around on all axes. NY< RNdYCI think the idea is to make each of the six faces a solid color.:NY.It is currently in the solved configuration.NY Q NTZ!NsZ< >NZYou mess up the cube.NZ! NZiN[EYou solve the cube. Boy, that sure was tough. What a great puzzle.N[" N6[N<[eT(  clear lens 88It looks like an ordinary lens from a pair of glasses. N܃N>5 r|N{The lens magnifies the Acme CEO's face, revealing strange lines near his ears. They look like stretch marks of some kind.NN5s|N5`The clear lens magnifies the writing on the bookmark so that you can just barely make it out.3NG4>s%Nc&NqEverything looks bigger.Nf(  tinted lens XXIt looks like an ordinary lens from a pair of glasses, except that it's darkly tinted. N*NEverything looks darker.g  (. flask of soupy yellowish goop The flask contains some foul-smelling substance, about the consistency of molasses. You don't really want to know what it is, but there's a label on the flask.Nrbh QNSc@NkdIt smells so bad that you can barely touch the stuff to your lips, but as soon as you do, you keel over. You wake up several minutes later with a horrible taste in your mouth, your appetite thoroughly unsatiated, and with bad breath that could stun a buffalo at twenty paces.Nd"5NdNd'Nd<Ndh=. ,,label on the flask of soupy yellowish goopNxe< 22The label on the flask says, "syntheplast Q-36". N f>g i  (:. prototype vaporizertNmgVIt looks like a large metal thermos, with an opening in the top to put things in. <Ng QQScribbled on an attached label is "vaporizer prototype XP-11 -- USE CAUTIION!" QN}hQMOactordoN8hN8hAs soon as you drop  N8"iR into the opening, you see a bright flash of light and hear a sound like "PAFF".N8Ji"N8i<" N8i&N8 j>5  ]N8.j  N8oj2 suddenly appears on the ground in front of you.N8jN8jN8j<" N8j&N8j>5  ]N8j  N88k2 suddenly appears on the ground in front of you.N8QkN8XkN8^k<" N8k&N8k>5  ]N8k  N8l2 suddenly appears on the ground in front of you.N8lN8!l7N8'l<" N8Hl&N8el>5  ]N8l  N8l2 suddenly appears on the ground in front of you.N8lN8lN8l&N8m>5  ]N8Nq   won't fit in < .N"r2N/r&The can already has something in it.N\rk  (. transparent klein bottle It looks like an ordinary transparent klein bottle. A note attached to the bottle says, "Klein Bottle for Sale -- Apply Within." These guys -- what a sense of humor. QNstN:t[Things look about the same. I guess that means you have a one-sided view of the world...NjtNtwThere's nothing in the klein bottle, probably because klein bottles, being one-sided objects, can't contain anything.NubNQuIThe klein bottle has no inside. It is a one-sided topological oddity.Njul|:::(  paper clip Qml  ( Acme Skwee-Z toy (tm) It's a life-sized plush, soft, stuffed toy shaped like a comic book penguin. It's almost five feet tall. Tiny letters on the underside of the toy read, "Acme Soopur Kuddlee Skwee-Z Toy (tm)".   Nz=Nz-It makes a loud noise like "OOoooowAAAcck!" N/{)NA{It smells like herring.Nm{$2N{"It's five feet, two inches tall.nd  (. girlie magazine It's called "Haht Acme Akshun (tm)", and it contains rather explicit photos of women in compromising positions, many (disgustingly) involving Cheez Brand products. 44You're too young to be reading this sort of stuff. Q N}(N}What a weirdo you are. N})N}You don't want to know.N}&N~There are 143 pages.o|: : :(F  test tube ::It's just an ordinary test tube. There's nothing in it.  0N  It seems to be indestructible.NU+NkEverything looks smaller.3N#There's nothing in the test tube.pEEE(. ""tube of Acme Eepocksee Gloo (tm) It's a tube of highly viscous fluid. Looks like it's an adhesive of some sort. The label seems to indicate that you need to mix it with something to make it sticky. @@The label says, "Part A. Mix with Part B in a 1 to 1 ratio." Qq(  lead bar YYIt looks to be just a bar of solid lead, about the size of a brick. It's quite heavy. rF F F9  Acme CEO He's wearing a mauve and salmon suit with orange stripes an green polka dots. He's watching you from behind the avalanche of papers piled on his desk. =N we34N ekThe CEO eyes you suspiciously. "Aym uh bizzee man," he bellows, "Is thayre sumthing ay can doo fore yuu?"N eO actorNj fhOactordoN qf="Whut wud ay do wyth thatt?" the Acme CEO asks you sternly.N f N f1N f!He smells like a Spam Kee (tm). XN g?You can't reach that far around the pile of junk on his desk.N gN $g< !OactorioN Mg\OactorioN g1"Reelee," he scolds, "must yuu wayst mye tyme?"N gs  (.&  bookmark ccIt's a beautiful ornate bookmark with gold trim. There's something written on it in tiny letters. ))The print is too small for you to read. \%JN"The writing says, "snorgumfert".N"&N)bN@\<|E 5>\|5Nx)It's in the book, which you don't have.Nt  (. computer printout WWIt's one continuous tractor feed page consisting of about a dozen 8 1/2 by 11 sheets. ""It says "trustme" over and over. N--N?There are 10 pages of text.+NnDon't eat that, you fool.N$2N"Each page is 8 1/2 by 11 inches.u,  ( &&Duhdha's Kaleidoscope of True Seeing,NI< yyIt looks nothing like what you made it out of -- the work of Duhdha is truly great. It's an artifact of tremendous beauty, and you can feel incredible power coursing through it. It's covered in ornately carved gold, which makes you wonder to yourself why these artifacts have to be so gaudy if Duhdha shuns materialism. Such questions, you suppose, will be answered in time.  NN>5 >r|Nלv'NNAs you look through the artifact, your vision is very clear, and you feel as though you have a sixth sense. Your surroundings, however, look about the same.NNN%Nȝ<YN2@An affront to the Great Duhdha! You musn't speak such things!ND RNY9Whew! It smells like your former master Kuulest's feet.Nv'pN /4N As you peer into the Kaleidoscope of True Seeing at the Acme CEO, you are truly horrified at the evil you see: a hideous monster with a gaping mouth full of razor-sharp fangs, and a nasty set of horns on its head to match.3N )4N +The beast, realizing you have seen through its cunning disguise, speaks to you in a bone-chilling guttural voice like a thousand Unnkulian warriors taunting in unison, saying, "Mortal, you have overstepped your bounds. Your 'Great' Duhdha is no longer a threat to us. We are the Lord of Unnkul, and we will enjoy the company of your soul in our demesne." The Lord of Unnkul laughs sickeningly. "Yes, it will be a pleasure to torment you for eternity, Duhdist," the demon spits.3N >4N Just then, you know the awful truth: you have not come prepared for this battle. The Great Duhdha warned you of this, and told you that there was only one who could help you, but alas, you did not find that One. What began for you as an innocent attempt to drum up some good PR for yourself has resulted in the loss of your soul to the dread Unnkulians. Not a very good return on your investment, if you ask me.3N 4N The Lord of Unnkul grabs you before you can even twitch. It presses you against the wall with the force of a hundred men, its knife-like claws digging deeply into your temples. Your own blood is warm on your face, and you can feel your heart beating hard and fast, mechanically and unknowingly pumping the precious liquid that preserves your life out your wounds. You struggle, but know that there is no use.3N 4N P Soon you feel its claws buried in your abdomen as the Lord of Unnkul raises you high above its head in triumph, looking up at your torn and bloody form with sheerest contempt and disdain. As you begin to fall in and out of consciousness, your last thoughts are of the Great Duhdha, and your indomitable faith, a faith you had until now failed to see the true strength of, faith in the wisdom and power of a force whose greatness has touched you personally so many times in this life, a faith that has been a wellspring of happiness and a fountain of youth for you, a faith that even now convinces you that the Great Duhdha has not forgotten you, even in death.3N >*** You have joined the Lord of Unnkul and its minions ***\bN  N \bN 4N $ PIt is dark for a time -- you have no idea how long. Then you feel the hand of Duhdha upon you, reaching in to release you from your imprisonment; but at the same time the claws of all the Unnkulians seem to hold you in their grasp. You feel like the rope in an immortal tug-of-war, the very fiber of your being about to be torn apart.3N e 4N F You awaken, soon realizing that you're back in the real world again, lying on the desk amongst the sea of papers. You look around the room and see your own blood covering the floor and walls, though a quick inspection reveals no wounds or scars on you.N } >5 xN c In addition, you seem to have been turned back into your normal good-looking-as-ever self again.N  N 3N  4N R jAstoundingly, the Lord of Unnkul lies dormant on the floor, surrounded in a viscous pool of black blood.3N 4N SThe wizened old monk whom you met in the waiting room enters as you get up from the desk. "It is truly the greatness of Duhdha," he says pleasantly, "that brought our paths in time and space together here before this loathsome devil. I simply came," he continues, "to register a complaint about this Acme Sooper Egg Fraier (tm), but when you exposed the Lord of Unnkul, I knew the time for our task had come.3N e4N w"The forces of Unnkul have long sought to conquer this world and enslave its peoples, and this latest campaign was the most cunning yet. To challenge the faith of a world -- eliminating a need for Duhdha by creating a dependence on technology and encouraging hedonism -- was the ultimate goal of the incestuous union between the Unnkulians and the once-proud Acme company.3N 4N "Now that their leader has been vanquished by Duhdha, the Unnkulians will be flung into disarray. Chaos and anarchy will reign for years as the treacherous quests for leadership over the Unnkulians are played out by the many powermongers amongst their kind.3N "4N "It was not fortune or fate but Duhdha that brought us here together today, my son, and know this: Your quest, though born of a selfishness that still lingers inside you, was orchestrated by Duhdha, the all-knowing and all-seeing Great One, so that in this tiny window of time, where the Lord of Unnkul was away from its domain and here on this world to survey the work of its minions corporeally, in this brief splinter of time, the most capable of Duhdha's servants, you, could be brought to catalyze this event.3N T4N 3"I understand these things," you say, "but if I was just the bait to get the Lord of Unnkul's guard down, who actually killed it?" you inquire, looking down at the still bleeding corpse on the floor. The monk grins.3N O43"I did," he chuckles. "You can call me Kuulest."N d \n\bN  N \bN N N +N w0(.JNǞ<(Nݞ rolled-up N newspaperN,Na < N&the <vNX'It's a copy of the "Acme Tymes (tm)".N<((N It's currently rolled up.NNӟ<(DN5It's rolled up, so you can't read it at the moment.NThe headline reads, "Elvis sighted in Acme Laboratory!" The story details how Elvis was supposedly spotted munching on a box of Acme CheezDonuts (tm).Nܠ (BNO<(%NeIt's already rolled up.N)VN.You roll the newspaper up into a tight tube.Nȡ"(NBN<($NIt's already unrolled.N0*CNCYou unroll the newspaper.Nc!(N|NbOactordoNۢw E>w(?NYou swat the dog soundly on the nose with the rolled up newspaper, punctuating it with a firm "Bad dog!". It yelps ands runs back into the house assuming you're scolding it for not carrying your slippers inside.N>w/N'"wNL  NdNo"wNNw E >w(pNXYou lamely lunge at the dog, draping the unfolded newspaper over it. It is not cowed.N,_NhJSigh. You're attacking something with a newspaper? What IS your problem?NNxp///  fried egg yyH 9 wizened old man Like most old men, he's probably quite wise. He looks familiar, but you can't quite place the face. He's chewing on a fried egg. z=|N X34N XPThere's an ancient monk sitting on the sofa here, slowly chewing a fried egg.N XO actorNB XOactordoNd %YNd YtThe old man raises his hand and bows. "Your offer is kind, my child, but I have food aplenty," he intones softly.Nd YNd YX D Y Nd Z"Ah yes, my child," the monk intones, "through went some have found enlightenment. The game truly holds all aspects of Duhdha. I have, unfortunately, never become more than an average player."Nd ZNd Ze D u zNd 8[bThe monk smiles. "Surely," he chuckles, "you do not want to part with so powerful an artifact."Nd r[cNd [N"Thank you, my child," the monk laughs, "but I have no need of such things."Nd [Nd [ N [7N ['The monk smells like an Egg McMuffin. N 5\1N E\!The monk eyes you suspiciously.N v\N U]You lunge at the monk, but he waves his hand casually and an invisible force slams you backwards into the wall. "My child, I would think that one as devoted as you would better understand the ways of the Great Duhdha!"N ]!OactorioN ]OactorioN ]W  ^L"That would make a fine meal, if only it were cooked," the monk chuckles.UN ;^X |N ^mThe monk raises an eyebrow. "That wour maff a fine mere indeeb," the monk says with his mouth full of egg.N ^hN "_YThe monk frowns. "Such foods," he warns, "are not healthy for the body or the spirit."ON R_e N `The old man clasps his hands together. "Praise Dudha!" he cries. "He is the benificant, great, all-powerful, all-knowing teacher of knowledge! Why, he is Dudha -- no more, no less!"sN `gThe old monk tells you he is here to discuss a problem he's had with his Acme Sooper Egg Fraier (tm).N `\nN `zhhh(  postcard 44It has a picture of a waterfall on the back of it. {{X  9 cheerful old woman yyShe looks a lot like someone you know. Wait! She looks like Kuulest, your former geezhead master! What a conincidence! z=zN a34N FbNSitting on the sofa is a cheerful-looking old woman writing on a small card.N dbnO actorN8 bH"No thanks, kiddo, I'm all set with what I got," the old woman chimes.N8 b N b=N b-She smells like your former master Kuulest. N ,cAN >N+  Restored. N+ N+ +N+ t333SN !0S spaceN >QN (Now single-spacing between paragraphs.N !N NN (Now double-spacing between paragraphs.N $"N CN I+N p S indentN >IN  Paragraph indentation now off.N !N EN Paragraph indentation now on.N A"N [N c+N $S+N  <+dN H LThe Great Duhdha chides you: "Isn't one artifact enough for you, mortal?"N p ,N t >s&N % Sounds familiar, but you just can't quite remember how to pronounce it. Perhaps if you saw it written down with the proper Trollish accent marks...N : mN > 5>Y|E 5> |E 5>j|E 5>l|E 5>f|E 5>'|E 5> |N You close your eyes as Duhdha guides your hands. You work for what seems like hours to build an object you've never seen before -- an object of great enlightenment and purpose. A voice inside your head whispers, "Well done, slave, err, I mean my child."N   N  !>Y&N 3 !> &N L !>j&N c !>l&N  !>f&N !>'&N !> &N >5 >u&N "+N  KN  5>Y|E 5> |E 5>j|E 5>l|E 5>f|E 5>'|E >5|N YThe Great Duhdha speaks to you sternly: "Arrogant mortal, that statue has bird poop on it! I HATE bird poop!" Perhaps you should find another image of a follower of Duhdha...N (N You feel the eyes of the Great Duhdha upon you. A mellifluous but powerful voice intones, "There is a great evil confronting your people, and you have been chosen to defeat it. Your talents are great, and your devotion strong, but you must prepare yourself for the great battle that lies ahead. In spirit, all the peoples of Duhdha are with you, but in your world there is only one other who can help you.\n You are on the path, my child, but you must continue your search." The voice returns to the heavens, carried on the wind.N N .,-x XQQQS yes*N Don't get smart with me.mmmS  &N = Frustrated?N U.12x X>>>S helpN >|999S wave. 3x X|:::S break. x X|:::S smell. x Xx888S rub. x XaaaS pray"N  An ethereal voice intones, "You have reached The Great Duhdha. No one can answer you prayer at the present moment, but if you'll leave your name, approximate location, and time when you can be reached, your prayer will be answered as soon as heavenly possible."N .45x X|:::S count.x Xx888S tie.67x X|:::S untie.8x XAAAS pour\.\9x XBBBS douseB.B:;<=x X|999S cook.>x XS swingN m>5|JN ;Try typing the direction you want to swing; e.g., "east".-N !I see nothing to swing on here.N .?@x X|<<<S  measure.$x X|999S kick.x X|999S clap.x XAAAS playB.!x XS singRN K!9You don't sound half bad. 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