TADS2 bin v2.2.0'Wed Oct 9 00:40:06 1996 XSI:?@OBJO drN z NN N    is closed. N !NN OlocactorvobjN| D  N{D |pN} ! N1%You% can't reach   from  . Nz*NNO listOcnttotiN N'N6NCHNb@~NNNNO objO-icounttotlistcurdisptotNNN N'NHNUVNt@N~ N pNN , =N' NL and N, and NNN,N  (being worn)4N9E  (providing light)NNNNOobjprintOlistitotcntN!N"N""N>"NK"CNj"@N"N"N"N"``O parmN$N!$NP$>>N$ OlOtotic totweightN %N &N &N &&N E&@N Y&N &N & N &N &wN 'N ' O listO$itottotbulkremcurNz)N)N)N)dN)@N)N *N8*NM*NT*Nl* O amountN+&*** Your score has just changed. ***N,>N?,>>Np, DDN5(It's too dark to do much of anything. N"6  OsN >N In a total of >N/ ' turns, you have achieved a score of NZ > points out of a possible N >. This makes you N  totally unnkul.N 2one sad fellow.N na future ACME employee.rN;a novice adventurer.CNian intrepid explorer.Na potential kuul duhde.N,a kuul duhde.NTa Radeekal duhde.Nq"a kuul and Radeekal duhde.XNOkuulness personified.(N~the ultimate in kuulosity.N\nNTTN`*Thanks for playing Unnkulian Underworld!N\bNPPN'\b*** You've bit the Big Banana ***\bN0 N|R\bYou may restore a saved game, start over, quit, or undo the current command.\nNO respN3\nPlease enter RESTORE, RESTART, QUIT, or UNDO: >N N RESTORE N8File to restoreNa! Restore failed. XNRestore failed. /N>>N+N N dN  RESTART 4N< NQ #N_ Nb QUIT 4N N N +N N UNDO N %jN (Undoing one command)\bN ">5 N9 >>Nj +Nx 7N +Sorry, no undo information is available. N N hN N\b\b\b\b\b\bN4N1"Come closer my child," your aging master Kuulest whispers. "Soon my life will end. But yours is just beginning! The Unnkulian menace threatens to rise again, destroying all that stand in its way...and I am dying before my time. It is true you are but an untrained, untutored, useless, incompetent..."NC4 "Uh, master..." you interrupt.Nt4N,"Oh, sorry. Where was I? Oh yes. An untrained slave. Certainly not fit to carry on in the tradition of me, the ancient wise man Kuulest." Your master coughs, spitting green phlegm on your shirt. "Oops. But as I was saying, you are the only hope for this world - and perhaps worlds beyond! You must find the Orb of - " With a final choke, your master expires, leaving, as he so often did in life, a task uncompleted for you to finish.Nj4'If only you knew what the task was...N>N!#Ne!#N5 N">NO00NI beg your pardon? NOoNp :N N! FN>::N!N NN#O parmO elN/>Na>Nx>N D D  kN\\bYou're feeling a tad hungry. Perhaps it would be a good time to find something to eat. NB D D wNh\bYour stomach is rumbling. You should find some food soon or you'll pass out from lack of nutrition. N D# :N+\bYou can't go much longer without chow. N5(zNW\bYou simply can't go on any longer without food. You perish from lack of nutrition. NNNOoN4. NT.! Nq.(N.qN.(N.8N/%N'/Nc/!N//N/XKXM\\OobjprintO cntNNN,E NlNN MN N are sitting on  . NIN'  is sitting on NV . NnNtNyNE NN^N N  seems to contain N;NP. NZN_NjNqE NNN00OobjprintO%listitotthisobjcntNxNNNN{N@NE E NlNNNN` ` `$:@@NQ>Nk\bN{\nNp---&"}OvN%"#vO actorNS<#D>$<NS<0NS<#<%NSF"#NSaNSePOavdpiN< < N߻AO objN% Dropped. N%2&N%J&'0O objNt-<&&Nt^O actorO"tmplistthisobjitotN<&NտNNdN"@N?(Nk<&&NNNO verbosityOlcuritotNNd\b<N<NNNSN@N )NFNcNrN<EN4N You see  here. NN9\n\tNNN!.N4N!"N>NE<NbNxNN@N*HN5 ,N \n\tN=+NaNtNNiN,N<N<,N?O verbosityNd=<,Ndl<Nd-N<.N</N<0N<1N0<2NX<3N<4N<5N<6N<7N <8NH</N%You% can't go that way. !DCCC7N2<  < N2!N2MN$3< , NE3< N^3< \n\tNz3CO verbosityN3<N3< N3NO objN4< ! D<)NU4< N{4D- - -&~CO actorN7%You% can't have < . N7E2OactorioNt<NCO actorN%You% can't drop < . N2OactorioN<NAPOactorioN9n%You% can't put <  anywhere. N9POactorioNա%You% can't put <  anywhere. NCO actorN7%You% can't move < . Ni )N<>NOn <  %you% see%s% . N4N6There's nothing on < . NnNyO actorN>8OactordobjNN! #N6< onin%N6< offout}O#actorvdobjprepioN}8! E " N} 9N}>9! E # E $ N}u9N}9)N}9O actorN29uN91%You're% not going anywhere until %you% get%s% N,:< of< . NW:!No:$O actorNv:<$O actorN:<sO actorN#;  DN#5;%You're% already < N#i;< ! N#;N#;hO actorN;Okay, %you're% now sitting < < . N <N*<-O actorN S<<N v<fO actorN=<Okay, %you're% now lying < < . N==N=/="O  inspect@OactorobjseqnoN&WCN&C.x X#|||O askP6OactorobjseqnoN*D .Px X$}}}O tellP6OactorobjseqnoN+D .Px X%4333! bed&''n'n'~O objN#=GO objNCVG,"NGa <NG $NGthe <N%H;N,HIt looks like an ordinary < to me.-NrH%You% can't read <,. SOvdpiN)HYou have lost your mind. N)H*N) INI"NNQ  NQ NQNQOvantageO ,locN>;R< N>ZR! !N>R "N>wSE "N>T ! E  E  <N>XU"N>U!N>U O actorNU< ! kNV  ?NEV%You% can't reach that from !  . NVNVNV< D < zNV< <N'W%You%'ll have to open !<   first. NrW O actorO  locN& X } ! N& >X"N& X< N& Y } ! N& TY"N& jY! !N& Y D  "N& YN& YN& Z!N& "Z!N& :ZQO actorO' totbulk totweightN7 Z <N7 Z N7 Z{N7 [<N7 S[ +N7 [%Your% load is too heavy. }N7 [ 9N7 [*%You've% already got %your% hands full. /N7 )\<&N7 N\ Taken. N7 f\N7 q\zO actorN~ \{:N~ \%You're% not carrying < ! N~  ]N~ ]<N~ @]2O actorN e] N ]GO actorN6 ]%You're% not wearing < ! N6 ]XO actorN ^(I don't know how to put anything into < . N _^OactorioN ^! N ^<  @N ^ <  is already in  ! N %_kN 0_ D |>N l_%You% can't put <  in itself! N _N _<N _DOactorioN  `<&N (`Done. N ;`MO actorN!d`There's no good surface on < . N!`OactorioNt`! Nt`<  @Nta <  is already on  ! NtfakNtqa D |>Nta%You% can't put <  on itself! NtaNta<Nt!bDOactorioNjKb<&NjibDone. Nj|bO actorNb8OactordobjNbNbOactorioN!c! E <|8N]c <  isn't in  . NcNc<Nc2OactorioN d<N?dO actorNFd8OactordobjNdNdOactorioN6d! E <|8N6 e <  isn't on  ! N6ceN6ne<N6e2OactorioNe<NfQO actorN,f!%You% can't plug anything into < . NlfVOactorioNOf%You% can't plug <  into anything. NOfHO actorNgIt's not plugged into < . N?gXOactorioNqg! (It's not plugged into  . NgEO actorNWgThere's nothing in < . NWhSO actorNEh#%You% can't see anything through < . NhHO actorNhThere's nothing under < . NhO actorNIh*O actorNk3i<NkHiKO actorNpiI don't know how to read < . NiIO actorNiThere's nothing behind < . NjRO actorN;8j Turning <  doesn't have any effect. N;yjWOactorioNj Turning <  doesn't have any effect. NjWOactorioNk Turning <  doesn't have any effect. NYkEO actorNMkI don't know how to do that. NMkNO actorNkI don't know how to turn <  on. NlOO actorN?lI don't know how to turn <  off. N}lO actorNAl8OactordobjNclNclrOactorioN&mSurely, %you% can't think < Nlm knows anything about it! NmO actorNm8OactordobjN;mN;m_OactorioNy/nIt doesn't look as though <  is interested. NyxnO actorNn  4Nn%You're% not in < ! N oJNo< ! 8NGo%You% can't get out of < ! NoNoO actorNo<XNo%You%'ll have to unfasten   N!p first. N3pcNBpOkay, %you're% no longer in < . Np<Np< &NpNp[OactorioNxq Attacking <  doesn't appear productive. NxKqYO actorNyq)It's not very effective to attack with < . NqNO actorN8q <  doesn't appear appetizing. N8'rNO actorNPr <  doesn't appear appetizing. NrOactorioNr{:Nr%You're% not carrying < . N/sN:s<NdsDOactorioNes<&NesDone. NesRO actorNs Pulling <  doesn't have any effect. N)tOactorioNXt{:Nt%You're% not carrying < . NtNt<NtROactorioN+u%You% miss%es%. NHu <&NruoO actorNu{ANu%You% could at least drop <  first. NvN v8OactordobjNYNvNYvvOactorioNv{:Nv%You're% not carrying < . NwN"w<NLwROactorioNxw%You% miss%es%. Nw <&NwzO actorNtw{:Ntx%You're% not carrying < . NtZxNtex<NtxEO actorNx Thrown. Nx <&Nx!OactorioN? "yTOactorioNf My! $   isn't impressed. Nf yDO actorN y <  isn't impressed. N yLO actorN !z <  looks a bit cleaner now. N !Zz!OactorioN\!azQOactorioN!z <  looks a bit cleaner now. N!zQO actorN!{ Moving <  doesn't reveal anything. N!S{VOactorioN1"{ Moving <  doesn't reveal anything. N1"{FO actorN"{ That doesn't get us anywhere. N"|VOactorioN"F| Moving <  doesn't reveal anything. N"|IO actorN5#| <  doesn't seem to help. N5#|OactorioN#_}`You should say what you want to type in double quotes, for example, TYPE "HELLO" ON KEYBOARD. N#}[O actorN$} Touching < $ doesn't seem to have any effect. N$~YO actorNv$+~ Poking < $ doesn't seem to have any effect. Nv$s~/Nz~%You% can't seem to do that. !O actorN %~<!O actorN1%~<!O actorNX%<!O actorN%A<!O actorN%q<!O actorN%<!O actorN%<!O actorN&< KO actorNB&X%%You% find%s% nothing of interest. NB& [O actorN&QFiddling with <  doesn't seem to do anything.N& JO actorN&$I can't see any way to fix that. N& O actorND'There's no reason to kick < ND'c., however satisfying it might prove to be. ND'),***&*)+    ) rO actorNPL%You%'ll have to be more specific about how %you% want%s% to search that. Ne iOactorlistOfounddestitotN֍<:N NN+)N:NO!NbNN<  N%You% find%s% NN*N4NK@,Na , \N| E    and 0N E   , and Nޏ@&NN.N/<, which %you% take%s%. N_! Nn! E !NN,+O actorN{O actorNA<! :NAؕThere's nothing else under !< . NA<< NAU-+O actorNO actorNA<! ;NA There's nothing else behind !< . NA_<< NA.`^^^+ O actorN|O actorNA6<! 7NASThere's nothing else in !< . NA<< NAϛ:O actorN<! N)N,VO actorNQ<! Nn)N<< N˜/)O actorN*O actorN9ˣ<N9N<N0)-O actorN<NfO actorNJThat was delicious! NJ(><NJn!<&NJN>1 Nn < N0 can be turned to settings numbered from 1 to !<. It's currently set to !<. NO actorN(O actorNT-2Nn!OactorioNuOactorioN6 N6>D >< 3N69There's no such setting! N6gN6v>< UN6>N6Okay, it's now turned to <. N639N6cIt's already set to <! N6N6KN6ڬI don't know how to turn < N6 to that. N6-N682`    to3O actorNخO actorN9<N9DOkay, <  is now switched N9z< onoffN9. N9GO actorN<It's already turned on! N QO actorND"NdOkay, it's now turned on. NIO actorNi<It's already turned off! Ni!RO actorN!N<Okay, it's now turned off. Nd400N>N\tN5X<6OremcurtotiN<9"N>:NNNZN@N,|E "NhNzN~!NO#actorvdobjprepioN <E ;E <=N %You% can't see a thing. N <*N HN L)N d=N<)NIn the dark.NTO verbosityN<) N It's pitch black. N=INY<)&N N!NNxOvN<D <D ; "7N4It's pitch black.\nNQ!NfNj7  % ground,  the ground HNv>5  N<=N>5 NwO actorNe Okay, %you're% now sitting on < . N =N&NuO actorN8Okay, %you're% now lying on < . Nu =N&N>7OactordobjNN ?7OactordobjN5NT8:~  2*`OvdpiNK <  doesn't appear interested. NK*NK{%O objN|+/Nn <, is here. NqO itemN <  is carrying  N! and won't let %youm% have it. N(@DO actorNRBut <  is right here! N&CO objN<A< <A&N)&Np heq hisr he'ss himt he'su sv esw hasx doesy is98:E;  9N<BC0NO <  is no longer here. )OvdpiNq<+NB@O actorN D5O actorNJ<B N|<9&OvN<  you  yourself,  yourself %%You look about the same as always. # @KO actorNn  You can't follow yourself! N0O verbdobjprepiobjNO roomN4 N4,E#N4QF<N4~N4< D N4 N4HN4<  < N4C N4kN4N4N4&,O roomN  N p youq yourr you'res yout you'veu v w havex doy are=>8888O actorN?LJJJ)GQN<4N(Taking off <  first)\nN N 6O actorNn2<GNnK)NnZ;OactorioN<GN)N;OactorioN<GN)N;OactorioN,+<GN,D)N,U;OactorioNm<GNm)Nm;OactorioN<GN)N6O actorN)<GNB)NR&5O objN+U!N+r)&N+O actorNf<=Nf%You're% already wearing < ! NfINf{4NfW%You% %do%n't have < . NfNfH\O actorNOkay, %you're% now wearing < . N"NaO actorN|C<6N|n%You're% not wearing < . N|N|IbO actorN#Okay, %you're% no longer wearing < . N!N9@EA   @JFNK<z <KN<LE<MjN"zN<N "<NzN (Opening !< )\nN:<KNY]Nh%You%'ll have to open !<  first. NN!NNOeO actorN*<zIt's already open. "N*+<LIt's locked. N*XPXO actorN} Opened. N"zN<N "<NzNQEO actorN <zIt's already closed. NBRXO actorN>h Closed. N>}!zN><N !<NzN>SO actorN<LIt's already locked! aN(<TIt can't be locked. 6Nb<z&#%You%'ll have to close it first. NUO actorNH<V! JNH Locked. NH"LNH <N "<NLNHW NHb -BNH WAO actorN <LIt's not locked! N XO actorN <V! LN/  Unlocked. NC !LN_ <N !<NLN N -BN YOactorioN <LIt's already locked. N& <TIt can't be locked. N` <V! 9N *%You% %do%n't need anything to lock it. 6N <z&#%You%'ll have to close it first. N ZOactorioN <V JNA  Locked. NS "LNp <N "<NLN 'N It doesn't fit the lock. N [OactorioNC <LIt's not locked! JNC> <V! 8NC] ,%You% %do%n't need anything to unlock it. NC \OactorioN <V LN  Unlocked. N !LN<N !<NLNP'NTIt doesn't fit the lock. NxN<z It's open. RN<L It's closed and locked. NIt's closed. NNBd""" withC$"""ATLD  )}Nu ]^$O actorN9<_$O actorNc<dO actorN  5NJ%You're% already in < ! NNZO actorNOkay, %you're% now in < . N&N qN(8%You're% not going anywhere until %you% get%s% out of Nk< . N!N8N< E  ) z`N<E< >NbIn <  %you% see%s% . N4NThere's nothing in < . N NO actorN>?OactordobjNj< < <N%You% can't fit that in < . N NN<NGO actorNN*O actorN<NF  EN<zN <zxNi < N<z0N is open. N)NN is closed. NzO]O actorN"<z3NB <  is already open! NtNxPO actorN<<>N< Opening <  reveals . N< N< Opened. N<$"zN<;Q`O actorNd<z5N <  is already closed! NNR?O actorN7 Closed. N7!zN7 XO actorN|: <z-N|^  <  is closed. N| N| =O actorN <zIt's closed. N GFP]O actorNU#<L'N~#It's locked. N#N#)PN#SVO actorNz#<L,Nz$It's already locked! Nz9$NzD$UO actorNi$<zAN$%You%'ll have to close <  first. N$.N$ Locked. N%"LN3%N>%WAO actorNsh%<LIt's not locked! Ns%XAO actorN% Unlocked. N%!LN%YIOactorioN,&<LIt's already locked. Nc&[FOactorioNP&<LIt's not locked! NP&HGVU(O actorNZ(-BNv(X(O actorNK(-BNK(ZOactorioNy(<zHNy )%You% can't lock !<  when it's open. NyR)jNy])<V 1Ny) Locked. Ny)"LNy)'Ny)It doesn't fit the lock. Ny*\OactorioN^/*<V 3N^Z* Unlocked. N^u*!LN^*'N^*It doesn't fit the lock. N^*I)aO actorN+b8OactordobjN9+\N9,cO actorNw,d8OactordobjNa,ZN,J)N-"jO objN0/.<E<z:N0c.%You% will have to open !<  first. N0.P?O actorN."zN. Opened. N.K   that, that that!OactorioNC0e<OactorioNj0"Tap, tap, tap, tap..." O actorN0f/OactordobjN1M that, that that!OactorioNA2e<OactorioNh3"Tap, tap, tap, tap..." O actorNO3giO actorN3<N3Save failed. N3 Saved. N3+N3O actorN;3hO actorN]@4<!N]d4Restore failed. ;N]4 Restored. N]4>>N]4N]4+N]4O actorN4iYO actorN>5<N^5Writing script file. N5+N5O actorNv5j=O actorN5 Okay, "<".N5O@OactorobjseqnoN @N3@kOactorobjnameN[g@3N[@I don't see any ! here. 8N[@%You% can't do that with ! . N[A@OactorobjseqnoN@ANiA 5OactorprepioNNA!NNA 0OactorprepNcB!NqBPd### aboutQ|;;;O follow.@Dx XRCCCO dig inB.Blmnox XSYYYO&O actorNDF Wheeee!.pqx XT|999O push.rx XUCCCO attach2.2stuvx XV|999O wear.Hx XWO drop ;OactorprepioN#]HN#H.!X>x XX`    onYMMMO  take off.!Ix XZwxyzZd""" from[|999O open.OPx X\|:::O close.QRx X]O put^ LOactorprepioN*J_ N*J.!^?x XX>^`    in_ O take POactorprepio O9#retremcurrem2cur2totitot2 jN?L N?Ma D ` D ^ D X D Z E! N?NN?NN?,NN?HNWN?iN@N?N N?NN?NN?NN?NN?O N?ON?ON?ON?P@N?,P N?[PE zD E *N?PN?QN?7Q N?FQ tN?Q @N?QE {N?QN? RN?R  N?6RN?MRN?`R3N?oR{N?RN?RN?RN?RwN?RN? S.a`x XaZ^ X `d!!! offad!!! outbAAAO plug^.^|}x Xc|<<<O  look in.x XdJJJO screw.!B~x XeLLLO  unscrew.!Bx XfYYYO turn.12fx XBg|;;;O switch.x Xh|999O flip.x Xi|<<<O  turn on. x Xj===O  turn off.!x XkNNNO2O actorNW" NWl|;;;O sit on.x Xm|;;;O lie on.x XnO  get out of rOactorprepioN)Y E   N)Y  N)+Z N)GZ.x Xo|;;;O get on.x XpXOqTTTO8O actorN\Time passes...\nN\r(OO actorNt\qN\%You% %have% . N ]!+N1]N=]"Ny]N])N]%You% %are% empty-handed.\nN]sAAAO look through.x XtCCCO attackB.Bx Xu|:::O climb.x Xvx888O eat.x Xw|:::O drink.x XxAAAO give2.2x Xy|999O pull.x Xz|999O read.x X{RRRO throw|.!|x X2|`    at}===O  stand on.x X~O standO actorN$b ! D  ! ,N$b%You're% already standing! #N$.c N$WcN$bceeeOIO actorNc#Nice weather we've been having.\nNcAAAO show2.2x XJJJO clean.!Bx Xx888O say.jx X<OO actorNe>5  Ne" /N#f Your throat is a bit sore now.NKgYou shout loudly, your voice reverberating around the cavern. The rubble in the southeast corner shifts a little, but doesn't fall; I guess your voice is the wrong frequency.NogNgvNg>5  5Ng&'Yodolayeeoo!' Nice echoes up here.-Ng!Your throat is a bit sore now. N*hx6666 Sloping CavekN "4N $kYou're in a large natural cave, with many nooks and crannies. The ceiling is low, and the floor is jagged; you'll have to pick your way across the chamber. Well-trodden paths run up a gradual slope to the west and southwest, and a narrow tunnel runs north, into the rock. A great pile of debris and rubble has fallen from the ceiling in the southeast. N :$>" ]N $NSome of the rubble has shifted, revealing a low passage to the southeast. lN $`The rubble looks quite unstable; the smallest movement or sound could bring it crashing down.N 8%0-65}N %>" N %rJN %(There's only rubble in that direction.N #&!N @&N L&k k k=  pile of rubble/N iThe pile of rubble is quite precarious; I wouldn't try moving it if I were you. It towers over you, dirt intermixed with great stones and rocks, clogging the southeast corner of the chamber. N <" CN 7Some of the rubble has shifted, revealing a passage. N N N You try to move some of the rubble, hoping to dislodge one of the bigger pieces. You are successful - in fact, far beyond your imagination. The pile of rubble comes down on your head, burying you under a mountain of dirt and rock.\nN 1N AN HN \rN p<N <N [N !!Foolishly, you scramble up the debris. As would have been obvious to all but the most rank beginner, the pile was unstable; you lose your footing and plummet to the floor, pulling tons of debris after you. I think I'll take away a few points for that bonehead move before I kill you.\nN )! N E!N U!@ Mountain TopN G4N 4JfYou're standing almost at the summit of one of the Beegas'hell Mountains. An icy wind blows across the bare ground, chilling you to the very bone. Below, to the east, Unnkulia stretches out before you. Far down the hill, due east, you can see Lake Draounheer, shrouded in mist, and near the lake, a cave mouth. To the southeast you see the monastery, down the hill a short distance. Northeast and down is what appears to be a rickety cottage, alone on the bare hillside. To the west are more moutains, even more rocky and impassable. The only way down from this summit is a trail to the southeast.N qJ>  |N KgYou share the hilltop with a large boulder; you could probably scramble up it and get a better view.N KN (K520N KtThere's nothing to the west but more rocky mountains - and you're not really in shape for more serious climbing. N K!N LYYYO move.1Bx X2|;;;O fasten.x X===O  unfasten.x XKKKO unplug.!Zx X???O  look under.x X@@@O  look behind.x XAAAO typeX.Xex XQQQO lockB.!BcdYZx XSUSSSO unlockB.!Bab[\x XWXSSSOZ detach.!Zx X}}}O sleepTO actorN$ n.You don't have the time to waste on a nap. N$En|999O poke.x X|:::O touch.x X???O  move north.x X???O  move south.x X>>>O  move east.x X>>>O  move west.x XCCCO move northeast.x XCCCO move northwest.x XCCCO move southeast.x XCCCO move southwest.x X|;;;O center.x XO;www+O actorN$u<*O actorNHu /www+O actorNu<*O actorNHEv .www+O actorNv<*O actorNHw -www+O actorNUw<*O actorNHw 0www+O actorNx<*O actorNHx 3www+O actorNx<*O actorNHSy 4www+O actorNy<*O actorNHz 5www+O actorNpz<*O actorNHz 6+O actorN;{< enter*O actorNU{ 7.^_x Xwww+O actorN!|<*O actorNH| 8www+O actorN|<*O actorNHH} 2www+O actorN}<*O actorNH} 1O<L   O actorO yesnoN' N'..\bDo you really want to quit? (YES or NO) > N'gN'\bN' *N'N'N'N'#Okay. N':N'E+N'NrO actorNOkay, now in WORDY mode.\nNс"$N">5 N+Nyyy]O actorNuOkay, now in TERSE mode.\nN!$N+NłPPP4O actorN N4+N=T saveO actorO#savefileN3҃File to save game inN3! D  N3, Failed. EN3>N3[Saved failed. N3z Saved. N3+N3.gx XBBB  restoreO actorO&savefileN65File to restore game fromN6k! D  N6 Failed. mN6!N6ƅRestore failed. ;N6>>N6 Restored. N61N65+N6>.hx XHO actorO scriptfileN'džFile to write transcript toN'! D  N'. Failed. =N'KN'hWriting script file. N'N'+N'.ix XmmmQO actorN!NScript closed.\nN +N0JJJ.O actorO yesnoN'"N'5Are you sure you want to start over? (YES or NO) > N'N' LN'L\nN'cN'x#N'+N'?N' *N' \nOkay.\nN' +N'#N'2N'=SSS7O actorNN+NsssYN)N*\(Unnkulian Underworld:\ The Unknown Unventure\)\n Version 3.0.1G for Great Underground Adventures CD\n Copyright (C) 1993, 1996 by D.\ A.\ Leary\n All rights reserved.\n Developed with TADS, the Text Adventure Development System.\b Difficulty Rating: Handleable (5 out of 10)\bN&+***NF24N2This game is free. We encourage you to distribute it, but you may not charge any money for it beyond the cost of the media it is stored on.N24N4.\(ADVENTIONS\) no longer supports this product. Please do not contact us for hints or to buy games. The best place to get our games is from the Interactive Fiction Archive on the Internet, site ftp.gmd.de. The best place to ask for help with our games is the Usenet newsgroup rec.games.int-fiction.NA4***NL4wO actorN $CN7You can't think this game has any bugs left in it... N\+Ne,O actorN%E%`N(Undoing one command)\bN5">5 NY>>N5N)No more undo information is available. Nnj+NЌh%%%  betweend""" overd$$$ aroundh%%%  throughd### northd### underd$$$ behindT( HutN4N*You are in the hut where you have spent your entire life, a slave and apprentice to the ancient wise man Kuulest. He has recently died, and, barring long-lost relatives coming to claim their inheritance, this place is now yours. Not that you especially want it; it's a pretty grungy place, since you hate cleaning and Kuulest hasn't had the strength to beat you for the past few years. The floor is dirt, the walls are grass and mud - there's pretty much nothing to recommend it. In fact, you really just want to leave, now that Kuulest is dead. The exit from the hut is to the north. Your former master lies on the floor, dead.NO-8P= air,  the airN$>5  7NI(There appears to be evil in the air. /N#It looks like normal air to me. N HN>5  N<=N3>5 NWNN>5  UNEFThe air smells like some sort of animal, half-rancid, half-musty. nNb>5  *NThe air smells of evil. 0N$It smells like normal air to me. NYYY6 North-South Hallway N 4N You are in a darkened worked hallway running north-south. The shadows on the wall flicker ominously in the dim light, and somewhere, far away, you think you hear strange noises. Evil seems to fill the air around you. This isn't like the stunning Hall of the Valley King, or the peaceful wooded glade. You're in the heart of the dread Unnkulian Caverns now, far under the Beegas'hell Mountains. The passage runs north and south, and a narrow fissure in the wall goes east.N /.x-y6 Branching TunnelJN`4NZa#You are standing at a three-way intersection; natural passages run northeast, south, and west. The southern passage is slightly wider than the others, and you seem to see a glimmer of light in that direction. A strange smell is in the air, brought on a faint breeze from the west...Nja.03*9 slathering beast hhIt's got red eyes, big fangs, and inflamed nostrils. It looks like old Kuulest after a drinking bout. +5NT4Nd<?N}0There's a dead beast lying on the ground here.NeA very large hideous and drooling beast is eyeing you hungrily. I wouldn't stay here too long if I were you. Luckily, the monster is too large to go through the passage to the east.NO actorN8OactordoN TNThe beast tears the rotting meat from your hand and devours it. Not having an especially strong constitution, the creature keels over almost instantly from the shock of being fed for a change.N  N!>&N$ NJ"Nh! NCNCNN cNITThe beast sniffs at it and growls. Even hungry monsters have standards, you know.@N+The beast doesn't seem to want to eat it.NN#The beast is eyeing you hungrily.8The beast pokes at your leg and growls appreciatively./The beast is fastening a bib around his neck.uN< >5 QN4N<@N&CNMNUNp< >5 mNJ\nThe beast starts chewing on your leg. The rest of you soon follows.\nNNNIO actorN0#The creature smells pretty bad.\nN^O actorN6eO actorNXcThe beast purrs as you rub its snout. Then, it catches a whiff of your hand, and bites it off.\nNX NX' N That beast is awfully big and you're awfully tiny. Besides, Kuulest always said that big ugly beasts were God's creatures too.N lll6 Natural CaveYNIc4Nd2The passage ends in a natural cave. Water drips from stalactites overhead, and rocks of various sizes clutter the floor. An overpowering stench assaults your senses - musk, animal sweat, droppings, and above all, hot blood. Oh, wait - that's your own hot blood. The only exit is back to the east.Nd/`O actorNd>  $NeCN8eN?e)NTeoO actorN|e>  3NeCNeCNeNe)Nf# # #0 meat,  some meat ddIt might be a haunch of deer meat. It's rather hard to say for sure, since it's extremely rotten. O actorN SYou chow down on the haunch of rotten deer meat, smacking your lips and belching with gusto, pretending that you're the Valley King narfing a freshly-killed deer. Pretty soon, you keel over and die.\nN SN T,N +TIt smells rotten.N IT7N _TIt tastes rotten. Ptooey! N TMMM  dead beast 7N hW>DN W5It's a dead humungus beast. It's got no more loot.N _XIt's a dead humungus beast. In tiny letters tatooed on its hide you read "Acme Jenerik Advenchur Beest." You also find a golden collar, which you take.\nN X5>&N X"N XN XbO actorNl X<The beast smells a lot better dead than he did when alive.Nl 2YtN Y[You take a few tentative bites of the dead beast, but it's pretty repulsive, so you stop.N Y4I0  cheez key It's a small yellow key made out of consumable matter. Tiny letters are just barely visible: "Acme Dam Tastee Cheez(tm) Kee." O actorN #TThe Cheez(tm) Kee is pretty gross. It tastes kind of like unpasturized plastic. N $N 0$!<&N O$;O actorNh y$Sort of like WD-40.Nh $9N $ Ptooey. Sort of like WD-40. N $   9  green droll N% 4Nf =Like its cousins, the trolls, the droll is a big, green, bad-tempered humanoid creature, very stupid and very tough, with very poor eyesight. Unlike its cousins, it makes a charming and well-mannered dinner companion. In the heyday of the Valley Kingdom, it was considered quite fine to be droll at mealtimes.N 4N LN =The droll pats you on the head. "Hello, Beastie, old chum."9N' -The droll is squinting at you suspiciously.N]  +N 4N &There's a big green droll here. He N >@N6 1waves and smiles at you, revealing sharp fangs.+N seems very suspicious of you.N O actorN nOactordoN6  dN6aLThe droll gags. "Not sporting, what. Deer can't fight back, you know."\nN6N6 jN6[The droll chokes. "You simply must be having a funny, old boy. That's hardly edible."\n_N6JThe droll snorts. "That? Bah! What would I want with that old thing?"N6N6  MThe droll tells an amusing story about his aunt and a misbehaving umbrella.aThe droll makes a wry yet poignant jest about his dear departed cousin, who worked on bridges.<The droll speaks longingly of the days of the Valley King.BThe droll reminisces about the days of lore and yore (and more!)KThe droll relates a twisted epigram about a long sword and a short dwarf.DThe droll makes clever comments about your ancestry and evolution.EThe droll fondly recalls a toga party he had with the King's beast.^N4< >5 :Ng4N~<@NNVO actorN0The droll smells like fresh-baked wry bread.\nN"O actorNy)O actorNgThe droll flinches from your touch. "I got enough of *that* lot in public school, chum," he huffs.\nNN!OactorioNCOactorioNjQ UNjFThe droll chortles. "The Valley King's beast is my chum, you know!"KNj QNj>BThe droll frowns. "That's the Valley King's treasure, old boy."NjT INjx:The droll wrinkles his nose. "Phooey. It's repugnant."Nj 9Nj*The droll blinks. "Looks rotten to me."ENj+9The droll winks. "Sorry. Don't know much about that."Nju!OactorioN@ |,OactorioNg < OvdpiN  oN q`The droll nods politely at you, and makes a whimsical but unprintable comment about yo mama. ]N Q E 5 N yThe droll shakes his head. "Sorry, old man. Got to stay here and guard the Valley King's treasure, don't you know." N bN it E 5 rN ZThe droll grins, revealing three-inch fangs. "Me? No way! I'm a peace-loving type." N  $N [ E  N The droll frowns. "Me? Touch the Valley King's chest? No way!" He winks at you. "Not that there aren't a few chests I wouldn't mind touching, don't you know..." N IN "=The droll is suddenly very interested in his fingernails. N j*N uddd? golden collar ##The golden collar is very pretty. 6 King's Treasure RoomNXU4NVpYou are in the Treasure Room of the Valley King. It is a small side chamber, just off the main hall back to the north, plain and undecorated except for a huge stone chest in the very center of the room. Written on the chest are the words "TOUCH THIS CHEST AND DIE - by order of His Royal Magnimosity, the Valley King." The only exit is back to the Great Hall.NW-!8!`O actorNWW>  $NWCNWNW)NW[O actorNFW>  NF(XCNFPXNFWX)NFlXh'''F large stone chest z.N |}MIt's a very large stone chest. There's probably no way you can carry it.\nN }It's N }<zN }<WN }open. It appears to contain N ~N ~. N &~ N 3~open, but empty. N L~N S~ closed. N i~ON p~PO actorN ~<z+N ~The chest is already open.FN ~<9N Okay, it's open.N )"zN GN O>N u"N "zN MThe droll watches you. "My, Beastie," he says admiringly. "You've gotten much more dextrous lately. You could never open that lid by yourself before." The chest is now open.N   N N The droll firmly removes your hand from the lid and shakes his finger. "I'm terribly sorry. Only employees, slaves, subjects, servants, animals, children, and slugs of the Valley King may have access to the treasure." N N t444= the Great Duhdha FFF9 wizened old man Like most old men, he's probably quite wise. He sort of reminds you of Kuulest, except this old geezer doesn't order you around. He's wearing the robes of a Duhdist monk. +N4N<KN<There's an ancient monk here, slowly chewing a fried egg.N+NuThere's an old monk here, wringing his hands. "A boulder is to my home as a cheese key is to Duhdha," he mutters.|NipThere's an old man here, pacing up and down and muttering to himself. He sees you and smiles enigmatically.NO actorNz}OactordoN NThe old man gratefully accepts the fried egg. "A marvelous breakfast, my son," he says. "I thank you. May your tonails never grow warts."N N!>&N"NtN  Nv wThe old man shakes his head sadly. "If you expect me to eat that, you're not very far on the path to enlightenment."N  N'!tThe old man holds up a hand. "A bird's egg is a fine breakfast indeed. But uncooked eggs are the pitiful dregs."INt!=The old monk frowns. "What need I of such worldly things?"N!>OvdpiN! =N ".The old monk nods. "Greetings, my child." NH"Q E  LN"4The old monk nods. "So I do, my son. So I do." N"]N"Q vNK#^The man shakes his bald head. "I only follow the teachings of the Great Duhdha," he says. Nu#N# mN#^The monk raises his eyebrows. "Like the great stones of the mountains, I remain unmoved." XNp$LThe monk frowns. "You shouldn't speak that way to your betters, child." N$*N$**{The wise man pulls his left eyelid over his nostrils. "He who can see his own nose hairs knows of his own social worth."tThe monk squats on the floor, then stands. "An egg cannot be laid by a human, or we would know which came first."^The old man pokes you in the ribs. "A slave to Kuulest is a slave to the best," he murmurs.uThe old monk examines your possessions. "Tch. Carrying such worldly tripe. I had thought you to be a Kuul Duhd."I"An egg," intones the old man, "Is unto our stomachs as we are to God."VThe old man does a cartwheel. "Breaking an arm is never as good as breaking a leg."RThe old man puts a finger to his lips. "What is the sound of no eggs breaking?"m"When a breakfast dish imitates a cowboy," the monk says, "That is eggs act Lee - what am I trying to say?"^NS(< >5 :N(4N(<@N(N(OO actorN ))The monk smells like an Egg McMuffin.\nN 5)O actorNL <)NO actorNn w)(The monk leaps away from your grasp.\nNn )N)OactorioN >*iYou lunge at the monk, but he nimbly steps aside. "My child, that is not the way of the Great Duhdha!"N t*!OactorioNq *8OactorioN * MN *>The old man frowns. "An uncooked egg is the pitiful dregs."N 9+ JN \+;The old monk smiles. "If cooked it be, it's damn tasty."RN + >N +/The monk groans. "A foul affront to Duhdha!"N  , UN v,FThe man grunts disapprovingly. "Violence is not the way of Duhdha!"N , wN ,hThe old monk grins and winks at you. "Duhdha raked in the bucks where he could get 'em," he chuckles.N ;- RN -CThe old man laughs. "Not a house of a Duhdist, that's for sure."N - LN -=The old monk grins knowingly. "A house of Duhdha, my son."UN .. .N [.>qN .bThe monk wrings his hands. "Horrible, just horrible. Duhdha is not pleased with you, my child."N /The monk blinks. "It's Duhdha's rock, my child. Just as this is Duhdha's house. And all the little birdies are Duhdha's birdies! Tweet, tweet!"N /N / N 0The old man clasps his hands together. "Praise Duhdha!" he cries. "He is the benificant, great, all-powerful, all-knowing teacher of knowledge! Why, he is Duhdha - no more, no less!";N 0/The old monk doesn't want to talk about that.N :1\nN I1NP1,OactorioNi1< N1N2The monk nimbly avoids your kick. "Hayah!" he shouts, spinning in the air. A foot shoots out of the old man's blurring robes, catching you in the stomach. You roll backwards, out the monastery door, and find yourself... \bN2>5N3X   Monastery FoyerN =4N ?fYou are just inside the ancient monastery. Light filters in from the outside, lighting stunning mosaics on the floor and a high domed ceiling. Your footsteps echo sharply on the stones of this hallowed hall, and you feel somehow at peace here. The exit is to the east, and through an arched passage to the west is the inner temple of the Duhdists.N 9?/8N U?</7N v?<00JN ?>" N !@qYou step up to the door of the temple, and notice that the passage west is blocked by a monstrous wall of rock.N i@!N @N @>" N AThe monk pulls a ruler from his robes and raps your knuckles sharply. "You have not yet achieved enlightenment, my son," he intones. "Until you learn to respect your betters, you cannot enter the inner sanctuary."\nN A!N AN fB_The monk waves at you. "Go in, my son," he says, chewing a good-sized mouthful of his egg.\nN B[N BN B`O actorNQ B>  $NQ CCNQ ICNQ PC)NQ eC[O actorN C>  N CCN CN C)N D(  boulder It's a big boulder, perched precariously just on the eastern side of the mountain. I suspect you could climb it and get a better view. fNMYou can rock it back and forth a little bit. You might be able to push it.NNQN%You scramble up the huge boulder.\bNA_>5NdNmtNMYou tug on the monstrous boulder. It obligingly rolls over on your head. NNNrNIf you're trying to push it down the hill, I'd specify a direction. I doubt you can push it over the rise to the west; your best bets are northeast, east, and southeast.N N N" N8 N!VYou grunt and strain and are just able to get the boulder rolling. It starts to roll down the hill, gathering speed and momentum (though no moss). As you watch in horror, it crashes down across the hillside to the northeast, toward the ramshackle cottage and smashes it to pieces before continuing down the mountain and out of sight.\nN!!>&N""N:" NT"N#You push the boulder east. It gets rolling rather quickly, and you watch as it hurtles down the mountainside, splashing into the lake below.N##!>&NF#"Ng#%N\$You grunt and strain and just get the boulder moving. It plummets down the mountainside, and you watch in horror as it crashes through the rear wall of the monastery below, destroying about half of the structure.N$!>&N$ N$"N$|||0  fried egg 99The cooked egg smells damn tastee - oops, I mean tasty. O actorNm AYou chow down on the fried egg, ignoring the sinking feeling that you might actually need it for something later. It's damn tasty. Nm ANm B Nm 2B!<&Nm RB6N rBIt smells like a fried egg.N BN B<" N !C>N JC>You carefully pick up the steaming egg in your gloved hands.N C N C"N C5<&N CN DYou try to pick up the egg, and singe your fingers for your effort. If only you were a battle-scarred Valley Warrior instead of a pansywaist ex-slave! With a heavy heart, you are forced to leave your lovely breakfast behind. N 0E0N UE Taken.\nN nE5<&N EN EC C C0 egg, an egg yyThe egg is quite pretty, pale blue with small purple dots. It's a good size, and would probably make a good breakfast. yO actorN >/Mmm boy! Raw eggs - nothin' you like better!N >N >!<&N ?AO actorN@ *?It smells like a raw egg.N@ P?O actorN x?> " 5N ? Taken.\nN ?5>&N ?VN @ Taken.\nN '@5>&N L@" N s@ N @N @h h h) axe, an axe It's a sharp, deadly axe, with a good feel to it. It would make a fine weapon. Tiny letters engraved on the handle read "Unnkulian Death-Axe. Handle with Care. For use only by a true champion of Unnkul. NOT a division of Acme." 8N xkOactordoNJ  NJ >" NJ You strike the block with the axe again, but hit a knot in the wood. The impact runs up your arm, nearly loosening your teeth.NJ τNJ You hit the chopping block with the axe, striking near the edge. Cedar chips fall to the ground as the sharp blade slices into the wood.\nNJ …>&NJ "NJ  NJ 7NJ GNJ S FNJ  The droll can't see very well, but he can certainly avoid your attack. He reaches toward you and plucks the axe from your grasp easily. "Tch," he says, grabbing your neck. "I thought you were a chum, at first." With a minimal expenditure of energy, he snaps your neck like a twig. NJ NJ TNJ WHYou swing wildly and miss. Guess you'd be better off as a pacifist. NJ wTN ;This is fine Unnkulian craftmanship, totally unbreakable.N ݈NN 5A sword-swallower, maybe. An axe-swallower, never.N ;FFF)  bronze plate It's a thin, square bronze plate, the same size as the depression in the machine. Tiny letters read "Acme Koyne-Kut Playt."  N & iOactordoN \& "N &>]>N &N &>N &ppp=  cottageN f$>" hN $YThe cottage is made out of wood and falling apart. I doubt anyone lives there anymore.yN ]%mThe cottage has been destroyed. You can still go and wander around the ruins, though; they're to the west.N % P^N 3&_"N ^&Q>5N &=   monastery ffThe frescos and carvings on the outside of the building indicate that it's an old Duhdist Monastery.^N 8_"N 9>5N /9   Outside Monastery%N :4N 1<You are standing outside a crumbling monastery, built high on the side of the Beegas'hell Mountains. It's an ancient building, but still shows some signs of being tended - the weeds outside have been clipped, and the walls have recently been shorn up. The entrance is to the west. To the east, down the mountain, you can see all of Lake Draounheer, and Radeekal Forest on the other side. A path leads down the mountain to the north, and a winding trail continues up the mountain to the northwest.N D<-L2L7041<9 group of inn patrons They're a group of burly bar patrons. I wouldn't mess with them. They appear to be engaged in an argument about the bar bill. +tN44N4HThe bar patrons are engaged in a loud argument, and are ignoring you.N4OvdpiN>5 LN>45=The patrons glance at you. "Beat it, buddy," one growls. N>5t N>@6The patrons look at each other and shrug. "Okay." They promptly pummel you into unconsciousness. You awaken to find yourself...\bN>b6>5N>6WN>6KThe patrons are more interested in the bill than in what you're saying. N> 7*N>7N$8The patrons eye you suspiciously. "We don't want it," one mutters. "That's right," another chimes in. "At least, not until we settle this bill up." You lose their attention as the argument begins afresh.N78IOne of the patrons is rummaging in his wallet. "I only have a twenty."DOne of the patrons seems extremely interested in his index finger.="Let's see - it's twelve Acmids total - " a patron murmurs.Q"Wait a minute!" a patron shouts. "I'm not payin' eight Acmids for *my* beer!"h"Twelve Acmids!" one of the customers roars. "That's an outrage! For that gross slop they call beer?"One of the patrons is scribbling frantically on the back of the bill. "Twelve - divided by five - " he mutters. "Minus three. Carry the - Wait a minute. I've got to start over."R"This place has gone to hell since the Acme buyout," one of the patrons mutters."I know where there's a formula for gold dust we can get!" one of the customers says. The other promptly pummel him into silence.KOne of the patrons slips under the table. "Too much 'bir'," he mutters.zOne of the patrons sniffs at his glass. "Yech. It's flat already. I don't think we should pay anything for this barf."^N<< >5 :N=4N0=< @N`=Nl=9N= The patrons smell like beer.\nN=O actorN_=O actorN>The patrons slap you against the bar and do distasteful things to you before tossing you out of the inn. You vow never to rub drunkards again.\bN>>5N>N9?zThere's at least five of them, and you're a pretty scrawny slave. Somehow, even with a weapon, I don't think you'd win.N?N?,OactordoN ?<!OactorioN3 ?<OactorioNZ -@ yNZ @jThe patrons glance up at you. "That's what we're trying to settle," the biggest one growls. "Beat it."NZ @ NZ BAzThe patrons recoil in horror. "We don't want to hear about that monstrosity!" one shouts. "Are you trying to kill us?"NZ A NZ FBThe patrons look up. "Yeah," one says grudgingly. "We knew old Kuulest. He used to come in here when his slave was cleaning up the hut. Nice old geezesheister."%NZ B NZ BCThe patrons all stare at you in horror. "Really?" one says. "Then we'd better clear up this bill in a hurry and get out of here."NZ \C5 0NZ D!The patrons glance at you. "Scrawny," one says. "Yeah!" another one pipes up. "Ugly too!" "Yup. Hideous!" "Looks like slave material to me!" "Why'd old Kuulest let him out of his cage?" "Beats me! He's an affront to humanity!" "The most grotesque human being in the country!" @NZ D4The patrons ignore your attempts at communication.NZ @E\nNZ OENVE,OactorioNoE< Inside the Cheez Pig InnNA4NCYou're standing in the main room of the Cheez Pig Inn. Smoke clogs your eyes and nose, and it's tough to see. There's no one behind the bar. The exit is out to the west, into the forest, and you can also go northeast, to the back room. Nb>  NrA group of bar patrons is gathered around the only table. They're having a very loud argument about something. NN$083 AO actorN CN )N <O actorNSCNS)NS7(  Outside InnN+4Nl8The forest is thinner here, and the trees are less close together. A well-trodden track runs from the southwest to the north, passing by a building on the east side. A wooden sign hangs above the entrance to the building, waving gently in the breeze. The trees here are mostly birch, thin and supple. N>" JN>From inside the building, you hear voices raised in anger. N4The building is to the east.NB6-NThe path leading north out of the Forest of Radeekal and toward the great towns and cities of the world outside is not for you. Kuulest forbade you to travel past the inn, and old habits die hard - after a hundred yards, you are forced to turn back, chilled to the bone with a terror you cannot explain. Silently you curse the old geezemonger, whose shriveled hand controls you even after death.NC!N\7/hhh)/   billN GThe bar bill is dated one month ago this week. It reads as follows:N 48"Six pitchers Acme Sooper-Phrothee Bir - 12 Acmids." N H!N !kThe patrons eye you suspiciously and snatch the bill away. "Hey, buddy," one says. "Get yer own bill." N %"  dead master TN fL4N LfYep, old Kuulest is dead all right. You can't say you'll miss the old geezer; he was a royal pain.N L4N L>" 'N MHe's got no more loot.}N =M>k" N McAs you search the old geezemonger again, an iron key falls out of his pocket and onto the floor.N M>5 >&N N N *N"N JNN RN>" N NnRummaging through the old geezepimple's pockets again, you dislodge a postcard, which falls on the ground.N O N O"kN AO>5 >k&N kON "PYou find a scroll hidden in his clothing, which you take. It's sort of surprising that's all he had; you were sure he was hoarding loot somewhere.N >P5>&N ]P N zP"N PN PN P N QYou chow down on Kuulest's intestines, digging in with gusto. Mmm, boy - kind of like those sausages at last year's fair. Unfortunately, the maggots that carried off Kuulest burrow into your cheeks. You die a horrid death. N QN Q)/ health noticeN %-It's a health notice. It reads as follows:N _4N jBy order of the Valley King:N &The house of dining known as the Cheez Pig Inn, formerly the Golden Dragon, has been declared a health menace. Among the many violations, our inspectors noted the following:N tN \t - Sewage pipes broken and dripping over open vats of beer \n\t - Ale watered down with pus from hospital waste disposal site \n\t - Meat actually dead beggars that wandered into the kitchen \n\t - Acme products falsely advertised as made by another companyN )You stop reading, sick to your stomach.N  d$$$= guards9 Acme Sales Representative The Acme salesman is wearing a mauve and purple suit and an orange tie. He's quite a hideous fellow, even discounting the suit; he reminds you vaguely of a rat - no, wait. A toad. Or maybe a vulture. +zN$H4NtHNThere's an Acme sales representative here. He's eyeing you suspiciously. NHO actorNH;OactordoNH NI4N\KThe Acme sales representative grabs the coin and holds it up to the light. "Hmm," he murmurs. "Are you offering to pay me for the machine credit now?" Without waiting for an answer, he pockets the coin. "I'll have to discuss this with my superiors," he says, winking. "After all, I'm only a salesman. Besides, this may be a counterfit." He chortles gleefully. "But surely, no one would try to pass off a fake Acmid. It's the most solid, stable, and uncounterfitable currency in the world." He taps his wristwatch.NtK4NK0Somewhere far away, the klaxon stops buzzing.NK4NL"I'll go check out this currency, wink wink," he says, nudging you in the ribs. "I'll be back in a while, heh heh. You'll still be here, won't you?" He winks one last time and strides from the office. "I'll send you our catalog at your home!" he calls.NL4N3MIAs he walks out, a card falls out of his pocket, landing on the floor.NRM&N}M  NMCNMCNM!>&NN"NCN!<&NgNNsN 6NO'The salesman sniffs the key, then hands it back to you. "Ah," he says, grinning. "Another fine cheez (tm) product. That's our finest line. I'll have to send you a catalog in prison. You can send away for our cheezkees, our cheezbees, our cheez doors, our cheez machines - all the finest!"\n>NP NQThe salesman refuses your offer of the sword. "Got one at home," he says, winking. 'Not so good for attacking, but makes a hell of a light source, wouldn't you agree? Another fine product from us guys at Acme!"GN5Q NQThe salesman frowns. "Wait - that's from our Mayle-Deliveree Byrd," he says. "Well, well. Have to add that little violation to your list of crimes."NRThe salesman examines it. "No thanks. I've got one. And more stuff, too." He winks. "I'll send our catalog to your prison."NR%The salesman polishes his shoe with a dirty handkerchief. "Nice weather we've been having," he remarks pleasantly. "Bet the guards have been out running today. They gotta keep in shape, you know. Can't have any malcontents running away." He jabs you in the side with his elbow and winks.pThe salesman gestures to the posters. "See anything ya like? I could send you a catalog care of the prison."The salesman nudges you. "Tried our Dam Tastee Spamm (tm) products yet? They're our latest acquisition! I hear they're serving it in all the best prisons nowadays."The salesman pokes you in the ribs. "You're awful scrawny. You should work out with the Acme Staye-Hellthee So-Lho-Fleks Masheen! I hear they've got a few down at the prison."lN\V< >5 HNV4NV<@NV\nNVNVNXThe salesman's eyes widen. "Hey, I know you!" He stabs at a button on his wristwatch. Far in the distance, a klaxon starts sounding loudly. "You're the one who stiffed our machine with that bronze slug! You're going to jail, mac - no one steals from Acme Products! I've called the Acme Sekuritee Ghards; they'll be here shortly to take you away." He winks. "Unless we can work out some, ahem, alternative deal, nudge, nudge." N YCNJYCNwYNg[Suddenly, a squad of Acme Sekuritee Ghards, resplendent in their mauve uniforms and spiffy purple boots, bursts into the office. They pummel you into unconsciousness with their Acme Sooper Nok-Owt Kluhbs and cart you off to the Acme Maks-ih-mum Security Prihzon. You spend the rest of your miserable days there, living on Acme Dam Tastee Cheez(tm) Grool and sleeping on the Acme Dam Unkomfortabul Jayle Kot. Finally, mercifully, years later, you pass away in your sleep. N[N[O actorNv\The salesman smells like a cheez(tm) key. "Having any trouble smelling?" he asks cheerfully. "Maybe you need an Acme Klir-Nhose Inhaylur." He winks. 'I'll send you a catalog in prison.'\nNv\O actorNc\O actorN]The salesman shakes his head, moving away from you. "For that," he says, "You'll need the Acme Sooper-Sturdee Inflaytahbul Plastik Seks Dol." He winks. "I'll send you a catalog in prison."\nN ^N_The salesman nimbly avoids your attack. "Tch," he says, shaking his head. "Very clumsy. You should have taken the Acme Dedlee Neenjah-Fyting Korrispondens Korse." He winks. "I'll send you a catalog in prison."\nN9_!OactorioNmB_KOactorioN_ oN_`"It's great!" the salesman says, beaming. "The Cheez Key is our top-of-the-cheez-line model!"N.` N}a"Oh, they're the best," the salesman says, mopping his brow. "Don't worry, you won't get away." He grins. "At least you can look forward to that fine Acme prison food. And you can still get stuff by mail delivery! I'll send you a catalog care of the prison."vNa aN@cRThe salesman's eyes widen. "Oh, so you're familiar with our fine mail-order operations!" he crows. "Thirty turns or less, or it's free! The pendant's a particularly useful object. Confidentially," - he leans close and whispers in your ear - "I hear it's good for scaring off giant mice. You know, like the kind they have in prison."Noc N&d}The salesman grins. "Great, ain't it? Totally grotesque. I hear everyone's got one in prison, so I guess you're all set."gN" N UN }VThe smiling Acme salesman blocks your path. "I'm sorry," he says. 'No leaving until the Acme Sehkuritee Ghards get here. Or until we get what's coming to us. One way or another.N V!N VN VmO actorN W>" 3N IWCN yW)N WN W)N W\) counterfit Acmid,  an Acmid Now that you look at it, it seems to be a counterfeit Acmid. Interestingly, it's far less cheesy than the real thing - in fact, it seems to be made out of real metal instead of plastic. Tiny letters on the back side read "Unnkulian Counterfeit Death-Coin." |N `cStrange - it tastes kind of metallic. You always thought that Acmids were made out of plastic. N N 1N  Gulp. N !<&N ) identification card, an identification card !!The card is made of plastic and embossed with gold. Letters on the bottom edge read: "Acme Sayles Repreezentatif Perry J. Patrickson - Branch Office: Unnkulia." It's about the same size as a credit card. It's probably the least cheesy thing made by Acme that you've seen in your life.   )  glowing sword It's not the usual magic sword, that's for sure. Tiny letters on the handle read "Acme Sooper-Sliiser Whepun." It appears to be made out of plastic. It's glowing with a pale green light, plenty sufficient to guide your way.cN [JWhatever it's made out of, it smells about the same as a Cheez (tm) Kee.N \O actorN \iYou strike with the sword, feeling like a Valley Warrior, but miss. It's probably the sword's fault. N \N +]iYou try to eat the sword, but can't seem to ram it down your gullet. No place in the circus for you. N []) bird's feather It's a long, slender feather, blue with purple streaks. It's quite attractive. Tiny letters on the feather read "Acme Mayle-Diliveree Byrd - Phethers by Phether, Inc. ( a subdeevishun oph Acme)." NYOactordoNZ~ >N~NZYou tickle the giant stone feet with the feather. One twitches and moves back on top of the hole. You feel a strange sense of score loss. N/[!~NT[ Nx[WN]You tickle the giant stone feet with the feather. The left foot twitches and moves a couple of feet, revealing a dark hole in the floor. From above you hear a giggle that echoes through the caverns, nearly deafening you - "HEE HEE HEE! HO HO HO! HEE HEE HEE! OH, STOP, PLEASE!" N1]"~NW]  Ny]N]6N]*There's not much point in tickling that.N]`? jade elephant pendant wwIf this pendant is real jade, then you're the Valley King. It looks more like plastic - and cheap plastic at that. N!TOactorioN[T NU[The mouse squeaks in horror at the sight of its archenemy, the dread elephant. It scampers around the room, trying to escape. Finally, it makes a break for the door. It's beyond you how such a monstrous creature can get through, but somehow it does. You hear its terrified squeaks echo through the caverns, receding slowly in the distance. N,V NJV!>&NoV5N{V! $   isn't impressed. NVNV1NV Gulp. NV!<&NW3 3 3) doggy doodle It's a quite realistic doggy-doodle, a steaming brown mound to fool your friends. It's kind of squishy and soft - perhaps it's made out of rubber. `NYNGWhaddya think it smells like? It's got a realistic, life-like aroma.NkN`NNGYou stroke the doggy doodle lovingly. You can't wait to get it home.NN`NNOGYou stroke the doggy doodle lovingly. You can't wait to get it home.N_ONfONOoYou bravely scarf down the rubbery realistic doggy-doodle. Soon after eating, you begin to feel a bit ill. NPCN