a pirates life for me
| lauren and the girls were in their hotel room.
" tonight," said lauren. " we are going to a pirate themed show. we're going to have a pirate dinner, and we're going to enjoy it. linda's going to be their, she invited us, and she is paying for the whole evening."
" moooooo" said elie. "mooooooo."
" now now ellie," said lauren. " let's be nice to linda, because she's doing this for us."
"but she's a fat cow, and she'll block the view of the stage" ellie grinned.
" well" said lauren, " we're going to a pirate show, like it or not."
she turned to the other girls
" lucy, diana, what do you think of going to a pirate show."
" only if," started diana, " only if, we can dress up as pirates!. it will be cool. I'll be first mate diana."
lauren sighed. " dress as pirates? " she asked, " and where will we find pirate outfits."
" make them " said ellie. " make us pirate outfits, or we're not going to the show."
" and you," snapped lauren, " watch your mouth, or we're going home."
lauren sighed again." fine, fine" she said finally. " i'll make pirate outfits. the things I do for you girls. the things I do for peace."
20 minits later, and a whole lot of pirate talk from the girls, they were in the car, pirate swords in hand, wearing eye patches and peg legs.
they looked stupidd, and even as lauren drove to the show, she wondered what the other audience members would think of them.
she didn't have too long to wait, as they entered the pirate show queue, she noticed, to her horror, that they were the only people, in the entire audience, dressed as pirates.
" god help me" lauren mumbled under her breath as they moved to the front of the queue.
" hi lauren!" shouted a familiar voice
lauren turned to see linda, dressed nicely and looking lovely. " are you ready for the show?"
" I didn't know the show was themed to cows," said ellie. " I thought it was pirates?"
" hi linda," said lauren. " yes we're all ready for the show, look at the girl's costumes... they insisted."
"avast, landlover. me be first mate diana." diana said, in a pirate accent.
" avast." said linda flatly. " right, let's go in to the show now. I think they are ready for us."
for the next 2 hours they sat in silence while they watched a group of pirates on stage, trying to get some lost gold from a sunken treasure chest. they did funny stunts, and spoke in their funny pirate voices, and everyone was impressed
halfway through the show, a lady came through the audience bringing with her food.
" it's fish" said the woman when she got to lauren's row. " pirates eat a lot of seafood you know, and this is a pirate themed show."
"that's nice." said lauren, smiling at the plate set in front of her. " it looks lovely."
" yeah" saidl inda. " fish is good for you, I can't wait to tuck in."
"I think," said ellie in a loud voice, " it looks like something picked up from the floor."
the server woman smiled at ellie. " taste it love," she said. " everyone likes the seafood dinner we prepare at the pirate show. we never have a complaint."
" you do now," said ellie. she picked up the plate placed in front of her, and threw it across the room
the audience howled with laughter
the pirates on the stage started to joke,
" well it looks like we're eating well tonight."
the server woman looked horified
lauren was just glad it didn't land on her
linda just said flatly, " well that's the end of that."
ellie grinned and sat back to enjoy the rest of the show.
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