AWWWW COME ON, NOT a FILM STUDY!
| I stared at the blackboard in annoyance, frustration, unhappiness, and utter disappointment--or at least that's probably what I'd have been doing if I could actually see that blackboard. The blackboard in question was across the classroom from me. And as for me, well, blind as a bat is how I usually put it. Literally. Vision = 0/20. So, more accurately I guess, my fingers did the staring. They were resting on my braille display, absorbing the notes that the prof had just dictated as she put them up on the board for everyone to see: FILM STUDY ASSIGNMENT. The rest of it went sorta like this:
This assignment will be based on a film that we'll watch during next class. We'll analyze it as a class and you'll have to write a paper about it or something resembling that. And don't forget the best part: This assignment will be worth 100 marks. Also known as it could effect your overall grade. AKA you've gotta do it.
That was the gist of it. Except for one very important part--I HATED film studies. No, not hated, despised. No, not despised...well the topic had actually rendered me beyond words, so despised would have to do. I remembered back in Grade 9. It was a perfect rainy day in May, and then ... The first film study I ever had to do. And after it was done, I prayed it would be my last. The sad part about it was, I really liked the movie. I mean, the Matrix was awesome! The first time through. Things went downhill pretty fast though. The second time through, the teacher paused it so much to analyze it and summarize it, that it took us almost 4 periods to get through it. And of course, the visual aspect of the film was most of what was being analysed. That was one part of the movie that I just couldn't rap my head around, never having been able to see and all, and having people try and describe it to me. And then came the worksheets! But the fun didn't stop there. Oh no. Apparently there must've been more plot summary and symbolism stuff that we somehow missed, 'caus we went through it again. And by then it had been dissected so much that it did what any dissected thing usually does--it died. And I was as confused by all the talk about the visuals and special visual effects that if I hadn't fallen asleep, I would've been bored beyond insanity. To this day I still couldn't watch the matrix... But you get the picture.
Couldn't lose my head though, not now. I had to find a way out of this baby. There's about 100 ways that I wouldn't mind spending a nice Wednesday morning and studying a film wasn't one of them. I figured I'd try and pull the blind card--desperate times do call for desperate measures. In a few minutes after this class was over, I'd go up to the prof and say something like: "Ms. Dumass, I'm not sure I'll be able to get a lot out of this film study assignment. I mean, it involves watching films, and I can't really see in the first place. Some, if not most, of the important visual references will probably just fly right over my head." No more assignment. No more boredom. Problem solved. And maybe even a few classes off to do whatever I wanted. Awesome! And, I thought, if that didn't work, maybe I'd randomly catch this really bad cold that'll last a few days. It's happened before--I hated English classes of any kind--it could happen again. Or I could just not go to class. How much could this possibly effect my final grade, really, with the term being almost over. I had a lot of options open. Good timing too, class had just finished. I gathered up my stuff and shoved it into my backpack, which I slung over my shoulder. Then I made my way to the front of the room while pulling my other arm through the strap. On my way to see Ms. Dr Dumass, professor extrodinaire. I still got a kick out of that every once in awhile. At the beginning of the semester, she insisted her name was "Duu-mass" not "Dumb Ass", but it didn't matter. Things like that just stuck. I didn't really like the prof, but that could've been because she taught English. There was nothing really remarkable about her; she didn't give too much work, but she also didn't cut too much slack. There was nothing extraordinary about her in any way, good or bad. Definitely not someone you'd remember a few years down the road, I thought. But yet I couldn't call her plain or drab, and I couldn't figure out why. Unremarkable yes, but dull, no. Maybe that was what I didn't like about her. It really didn't fit, but it made sense somehow. And that didn't jive with me.
There was no one else left at her desk when I arrived, so I got right to the point. "Ms. Dumass, I wanted to talk to you about the film study assignment."
"Oh yes! I'm really excited about it! It's the first time I've done it on this film, so it'll be new for all of us. There's some pretty cool effects too. And its not very visual, so you'll be able to get a lot out of it."
Aww crap! Done. But I went on anyways. "Awww really? That was actually what I wanted to talk to you about. It's happened before with another film study. It went way over my head."
"No, I think it will be very different. In fact, I think you'll really like it." She didn't even miss a beat. I had lost this epoch battle--time for retreat.
"Well, I guess if that won't be a issue, all will be cool. Thanks." I turned to go.
"See you tomorrow, Meg!" Oh great. I guessed now was the time when I was supposed to declare that yeah, I would indeed see her tomorrow when I showed up to the class tomorrow. Let morals and stuff do the rest.
"See ya!" I said over my shoulder on my way out. Let her make of that what she would. And besides, I had to go. I couldn't keep my ride waiting. I chuckled to myself. The bus left at 3-30. And those things don't tend to wait around for you either.
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