| I found myself in Kansas city 21 alone and no help. I had moved up here because my boyfriend at the time had helped me find the place. Now, i sit here trying to pick up the peaces of the past year or so the finding of stuff getting my stuff from Columbia and trying to put myself in some sort of job or school. A lot has happened on this path, but I know i can make it if one, i have faith. two, i dream the bipolar disorder still screws with me, but i know i will make it through. I found myself staring at the world like through a very dirty mirror the other day trying to see a clear picture. God knows i haven't been an angel but hey what can ya do? Lets start with the psychiatric stuff. I remember telling this to Carla my therapist she is staring at me as if to say go on dear. I have been in the system for god 10 11 years now I say. As my eyes tear up. She smiles and keeps me talking she is always good at that and likes my ability to judge sighted people's expressions and the way i can reflect and describe those reflections from a sighted prospective. I keep talking to her talking about hospitalization after hospitalization and wishing i could do it all again. I guess it wasn't as bad as some people would think, the kids weren't violent or anything, but i was scared I noticed that i seemed to be reflecting so i guess that could be the beginning to more the past I am going to take this open door because I know that everything happens for a reason. Plus when there is an open door filled with hope hell, take it. I will try to tell the story of my teens and maybe you will not be traumatized for life, don't be its not as bad as it looks. I was thirteen, it was november and i was suicidal. The school told my dad to put me in the hospital. And thats the start. I will get to it in time i am sure, but it is still hard to tell you.