Autumn's Wind

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Chapter 97: Progression and Yet Regression
(by jennifer palmer, added on 22 September 2008 07:31 AM)

Jenni stood in the bathroom, Lance sat at her computer trying to get the application in for college. He had gotten his GED and was really trying to make progress. "Hey jenni? I need a hand" "ok," she called back putting the last touches on her hair. He was seemingly puzzled by something. "What's up? "I am trying to decide what field i want to go in too. I cant get my mind off of psychology and substance abuse and mental health." She stared at him, "what about all three?" He thought would a college allow it? Could he endure the hard work involved on being certified? "Yeah, there is a mental health services degree." "there is?" "yeah, Jenni looked shocked. I didnt know until i looked." She said this with calm trying to find her glass of water to take her morning ills. "what does it give you? "not too sure, she said taking her pills then contenuing. I think you could become a csw or something.
Really? He seemed to be shocked. Would they let me with the court possibly pending? I am not sure, have you heard anything on that? "no. I haven't and that worries me.
Jenni felt ill. She had been feeling up and down lately and wasnt looking forward to what her mind told her was coming. She was diagnosed bipolar with borderline personality disorder at fourteen but hated the illness now more than ever. Her mom had denied it at seventeen removing her from her medications screaming at her she was an addict. "Well, she said. I gotta run to school.
She didnt want to have him see her like this. She felt the physical symptoms of depression more than the mental stuff that usually accompanied it. She walked out down the hall hit the elevator and went downstairs. She hoped it was just her synthroid needing adjusted she certainly didnt need this shit now. She walked to the bus stop and waited she found herself going through her schedule with her normal sometimes pasted on smile.Then there was no denying it as the thought "what if i found a gun and just ended it" entered her mind. She seemed to know that Autumn might know what to do she pulled out her cell. "hey its jenni. I for some reason have lapsed in to depression and don't know what to do right now/. I am going over to Oakwood. Autumn knew of the place it was a psychiatric center that seemed to specialize in bipolar disorder and borderline. Will Lance stay at your place? She asked concern in her voice. Yeah, he is staying there i dont know how to explain it to him. Well, give me a call when you know what's going to happen Autumn said her voice sounding worried. You get some sleep I will give ya a call. Jenni hung up and walked through Oakwood's doors. She had never been here. But had heard that the place was good. "Can I help you a lady asked calmly. "yeah, My name is Jennifer Palmer. I am going through St. Lukes hospital behavioral health and am lapsing from mania to depression and back to mania. Having the alcoholism and borderline doesnt help either. Thing is, i am in college."ah the lady replied do you feel a danger to yourself? Yeah, I thought of getting a gun and just ending it. Jenni felt the tears, but the fucked up thing is, that i want to live! "I know dear. I know.
Jenni was taken to an adult unit and felt horrible as they orientated her to the unit did the stupid fall precossion procedures and told her that her blindness which she had for the past 22 years could cause her to fall so they must watch her at all times. Jenni glared. "Excuse me! But, i have been blind for 22 years since when do i need a baby sitter to take a bath or a crap? Miss Palmer-- No dont miss palmer me. I will tell you right now that i Miss Jennifer G Palmer do not need a baby sitter! She waled away and went for the coffee. She poured and doctored her cup then sat down. Hey, a woman said. I have a sister ho is blind sad thing, she works on the other unit downstairs. Wow, I think i could of told them off better Jenni said. "Nope, Amanda would of done the same I am going to give her a call and let her know what is going on up here. I am Angel by the way. "Jenni" Jenni replied then where is the phone? I need to call a friend he is staying at my house till he gets on his feet and needs to know where i am at. Jenni walked to the phone after Angel gave her the directions she dialed and heard lance's voice on the line "Lance, i have regressed. I am at oakwood will be a few days, can ya bring me some clothes and let Autumn know i am all right? "yeah, i can do that, dont see it as a regression, see it as a helping experience. I will see about them letting you have your stuff to study. mainly your stream so you can keep up on the reading at least. Yeah, Jenni said that means they can recharge it in the nurse's station and what not.
Lance hung up He made his way down to Oakwood and found himself staring at some of the more medicated patients. One man kept calling him Andy and kept asking him when Daddy was coming home. Another kept screaming and trying to hit people and then he saw jenni she walked up to the screaming man as nurses were saying Jenni, he is swinging on people... Jenni grabbed the man held his hands and said as if she saw this sort of crap everyday "What the hell is wrong with you..." The man stopped. "nothing bitch he replied. "the name is jenni she said, not bitch.
"sorry miss he said. dont know what came over me the voices just rule sometimes. Did ya cheek your meds or some shit Jenni asked calmly
"yeah he admitted. "hmm and you want to go home and get better but not take the steps you must to improve? Sucks to be you she said walking away "oh and thanks for the migrane she said.
Lance watched all of this mild admiration in his eyes. Jenni seemed to know what to say and when to say it. he saw the nurse looking on at jenni not at all shocked. She is a good kid he asured the nurse she just sometimes speaks her mind and performs actions that are a little odd. No, the nurse said she did what my sis amanda would of done. and angel over there has a sis namedAmanda too. my sister is deaf and hers is blind like jenni. Angel smiled. I know this isnt right but hey can yal let her have this? He handed the woman Jenni's stream which she had just gotten to read her school books. It only needs recharging every fifteen hours or so after playing that long, and takes four hours. Could yall charge it when she is in group and let her read her text books on free time? "yeah, if her doc says its all right. I hope so the thing s we dont need her behind in school. Dr. anderson walked on to the unit he stared at the man standing with the charger to a stream audio reader in his hand. "who needs the stream he asked calmly "miss Palmer the nurse said "give it to her she was woman enough to come in here and ask for help I seriously doubt she would hurt herself but yes, we will charge it when she isnt using it in the office. She wouldnt even keep her cane for fear of the other patients using it as a weapon he added calmly what makes you think she would allow us to give out harmfull stuff that they could pick up. Jenni stared at Dr. Anderson he was wise and cool all in one it was awesome she could even understand and prounce his name this place was awesome!

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